… I still don’t have the new IG album!!

Let’s see. What do I NOT have..

A driver’s license. But I will have a replacement in approximately 5 business days.
A social security card. I need to do something about that.
A debit card. New ones in 7-10 business days.
Several credit cards. New ones in 7-10 business days.
Many many many many many assorted receipts from Target, Safeway and Costco. Those, I don’t miss.

On the plus side, there has been no activity on any of our accounts… that we haven’t initiated. This is so very very good.

I don’t even have the ability to buy the new album on amazon, because the credit card accounts have now been closed and new numbers have not yet been forthcoming, and the debit card number has been shut down. I don’t know what that one was anyway.

One good thing is I don’t have to close our checking account. That would have been SUCH a big pain in the ass. The nice lady at USAA said that as long as I keep on top of the activity in the account, we should be ok. The checks that are gone have been blocked, so the only danger is if someone tries something fancy with the routing number and the checking account number. Which I will be WATCHING for! I also put a security alert on my credit report (because I’m dumb and had my SS card in my wallet, once again, I SUCK), so that if anyone tries to do anything, they have to call me first. At least, that’s what I think happens. It’s been a long day.

Honestly, I think it is still in the “lost” category, and not the “stolen” category. But I have spent a great deal of energy and time pestering employees, that if it hasn’t moved out of the lost category by now, it’s going to stay there, or eventually be in the stolen category.
2 things that really suck … And by “really suck”, I mean, after all the super suckiness above..

1. I had that wallet for close to 7 years, and it was the best wallet I’ve ever owned. My mom bought it for me at Nordstrom’s for $50. I would never have spent that much for a wallet, but if you take that 50 bucks and divide it by every day I used it for the last 7 years, I would have to say it was a steal. This is a trick a friend of mine uses to justify spending money. She just hollers, “DIVIDE IT BY THE DAY!” and charges it. It really does make sense though. If you love and use something a lot, it IS worth it. I’ve learned that in the last 7 years at least.
2. I still don’t have the new IG album. James stopped on his way home from class to get me a copy, but no dice. But I am going to go steal James’ debit card here as soon as I hit publish, and order the damn thing already.
3. Third (just pretend I said 3 things up there), now that I’ve gotten past all the sucky all-your-personal-shit-is-gone stuff, I really really really want some of those shoes/boots I tried on at TJ Maxx. Seriously. They were cute as hell and cheap to boot. (Get it? BOOT! Oh I kill myself.) As soon as I get access to money in one of the conventional ways, I’m going to go buy some. TJ Maxx, I’ll see YOU in 7-10 business days!

– amy has to get back to her Project Runway Season 2 marathon since THERE WAS NO PR LAST NIGHT OH THE INSANITY HOW DO THEY EXPECT ME TO CONTINUE TO LIVE!!! It’s a good thing I have a backup PR fix ready, or I may have collapsed. Disc 3 has arrived – “Designers! Up until now, you’ve all f**king sucked.”

yesterday the new indigo girls album came out.

I attempted to pick it up yesterday, along with the new boots and the diapers and the new firetruck shoes and the wipes that needed to be obtained at target, but we were running very late and target’s music selection isn’t really all that great.

ig = negative.
sore feet = affirmative
kids to bed late = affirmative

so today i met some friends for lunch, afterwhich i tried to find the album at borders and then best buy. borders had 10 copies, but it took 2 sales associates to track them down. They didn’t have the collector’s edition (with alternate tracks on disc 2) which I wanted. best buy didn’t have anything.

ig = negative
being helped profusively = affirmative

so then i popped in the car and thought, why not, i’m already over here, and drove over to tower records. after a quick check of the new releases display and the IG slot, i got someone to look it up for me where i learned that Tower Records is actually in bankruptcy and all their deliveries have been disrupted and so sorry, they don’t have it.

ig = negative
being helped profusively = more affirmative (people are so nice, really!)

so on my way back to my car, there was a tj maxx, which my mom is always going on about, and i have stepped into maybe one time in my life. She was talking about these very expensive Le Cruset pots that I’ve always secretly coveted and how they were exceedingly cheap at the Maxx, so I decided, what the hell, I’d go poke my nose in. A wended my way through the children’s section (nice costumes) (wow, they sell toys?) to the back where they had exactly one Le Cruset kettle, and then was making my way back to the exit in front when I was diverted to the shoes. I went over and checked it out.

Up until this time, I did not so much as pick up anything. Just looked, and fairly briefly at that. However, when I got to the shoes, I actually stopped, looked, and started to pick out some shoes and try them on. It was only after I had to drop the 3 pairs of boots/shoes to try to zip up a 4th, that I looked down at the floor at all the shit I’d dropped and realized that my wallet was NOT AMONG THEM.

ig = negative, but i wasn’t even really trying to find it there
losing my wallet = sadly, AFFIRMATIVE

i suck. i suck i suck i suck. maybe YOU never lose your wallet, or keys, or very important items, but I do, with a startling frequency. I am surprised I haven’t had a heart attack yet, because this feeling really sucks. I can feel my heart beating rapidly, that panicked feeling in my gut, and then it all increases about 10 fold when I contemplate when/how I’ll have to tell james. “hi. i suck. i suck i suck i suck i suck.”

i really suck.

I went back over every inch of the 2 places I’d stood while looking at shoes. I retraced my steps over the whole store. I went back to Tower Records and inquired there. I retraced my steps, including going back to the bathroom and making sure I hadn’t left it on the sink (which I’ve done before). But in actuality, I KNEW that I had it when I walked into TJ Maxx, and since I had picked up NOTHING until I got to the shoes, IT HAD TO BE THERE.

But it wasn’t. I inquired with about 4 of the sales associates (because just because one hasn’t heard anything about a lost wallet, doesn’t mean a different one hasn’t). They have my name and number in case it turns up.

After searching with the cold knot of dread in my stomach, I finally left with the dim hope that maybe I hadn’t carried it in afterall, maybe it was still back in my car nestled safely in my purse.

It wasn’t.

I’ve called and put a hold on my credit cards just to be sure. I have a lot of experience in ‘lost wallets’. With all my ‘lost wallet’ experience, I have never permanently lost my wallet.

This time I have a bad feeling like maybe it is going to stay lost.

And that will suck.

Now I can’t even order the damn IG album (collector’s edition!) online.

ig = negative
me wanting to shove a chopstick in my ear to stop myself from further acts of idiocy = affirmative

Cross your fingers and toes for me.

1. Knobs are good. Knobs are wonderful. I love me some knob.
2. Gas out in the sticks is much cheaper than gas closer to the city. BEHOLD!Merrifield, VA, about .1 miles from the beltway:
   
   Bristow, VA, about 30 miles from the beltway and .1 miles from my house:

   And that’s not even counting the 3 cent discount if you swipe your safeway card! I BOUGHT GAS FOR UNDER $2 YESTERDAY! AMAZING!While I am overcome with cheap(er) gas giddiness, I am actually kind of sad also. High gas prices = bigger demand for alternative fuel technology.

3. Costco has gotten all weird. BEHOLD!
   Strangely shaped milk containers!
4. I have given in to the Project Runway obsession and put Season 2 on my netflix list. I’m watching them again and listening to Tim Gunn’s podcast for that season for the first time. This season of podcasts is much better, longer in length and he seems to give more insight, but I still love the podcasts. I may or may not also have ripped the episodes into ipod friendly format. I may or may not share them with you if you wish. You may or may not email me at amy at crazymokes dot com if you want some PR video ipod love. I may or definitely WILL delete this part since it may or may not be illegal. I’ve watched disk 1, disk 2 is waiting for me to watch tonight, and Netflix has promised that disk 3 will be waiting in my mailbox when I get home.
5. I heart Tim Gunn.
6. I also heart the super cute pink cowboy boots I got Jocelyn at Target yesterday and would like a pair for myself. I don’t even like pink. But I love those boots. I need to get me some fall/winter boot lovin. James learned from one of his podcasts, that apparently a sure-fire way to get your credit card frozen, is to buy gas, buy gas again, and then buy a pair of shoes. Because apparently, when teenagers steal a credit card, first they fill up their tank, their friend’s tank, and then go buy shoes. I must be a teenager at heart, because I think if I stole a credit card, that’s probably exactly what I’d do too. Except the friend’s tank. Screw them. Let them steal their own credit card. We’re going to test it out. Because who doesn’t love to get their credit card frozen? HOW FUN!
7. This is my reminder to write about last Saturday the Saturday before last where I went a photography-ing and a road-tripping. I’ll give you a hint about what all went down. Linda and I ALMOST brought home a souvenir from Virginia Beach.
   His name was Ryan.
8. Are you dying of curiosity now? GOOD!

Now that I’ve piqued your interest, I’ll smooch you on the forehead and wave buh-bye.

MMMMMMMMWAH!

I have lived too long without a KNOB for the volume in my car. I now have a knob. I LOVE THE KNOB! But even more than the knob (I know! I know! What could be better than the knob??! Quit snickering.) is the fact that I can know plug my ipod directly into my radio through the grace of an “auxiliary input” cord. Gone is the switching the damn radio frequency thingee that my ipod broadcasted through, gone is the CONSTANT STATIC, GONE is the eye tick which became a constant symptom of driving to work while attempting to listen to the Dawn and Drew show through all the static. Now, I just have sweet sweet pure ipod crystal clear listening love. That I can turn UP OR DOWN WITH A KNOB!!!

My joy is immense.

Carry on.

Jocelyn is growing up so quickly. She speaks in pretty complete sentences now, but still in a babyish way. We can pretty much understand everything she’s saying, or make a pretty good guess, which she can then confirm or deny.

Looking back though, it’s funny to see how some things she says began, I’m sure, as her saying something, us not understanding and saying something else, then she ended up using THAT phrase and attributing it to her original object.

Then sentence was convoluted. Why don’t I just get right to it, shall we?

This one happened around Ethan’s birthday, back in May.

James went out with Jocelyn to get balloons for the shindig. She came back, saying what we thought was, “RED HOT BALLOON!” Well, she kept saying it over and over and we kept repeating it all day long. After the party, I realized she was ACTUALLY saying, “WE GOT BALLOONS!” But it was too late. “Red hot balloon” stuck, and we still have this ‘red hot balloon’ thing following us around wherever we go.

Here’s another one that I have no idea how it originated.

We got a new cat carrier earlier this year, for, well, carrying cats. It is pink (never let the kids come along or you will be forced to pick a color that you would normally gouge your eyes out before looking at yourself), and it had a long shoulder strap which I immediately took off, deeming that a cat carried in the carrier by the shoulder strap would be too jostling than holding it carefully by the shorter handles.

Anyway, that shoulder strap got picked up by Jocelyn, and she started carrying it around, and oohing and aahing over it, calling it something that sounded VERY much like, “treasure”. And to this day, if she sees that shoulder strap lying around, she squeals with delight and hollers, “MY TREASURE!”

Next, we’ll have to get her a “precious” and teach her to refer to herself as “We” as if she were royalty. I still wonder what she was saying which we thought was “treasure”.

I had another one, but I’ve now forgotten it. I was thinking over all these little wonky language things, because I don’t think she’ll have any more of them. My baby. So big. Sniff.

I have Bunko tonight, a date with James tomorrow (our babysitter who is now a senior, and NEVER is available to babysit, HAS A YOUNGER SISTER!!!! OH JOY OF JOYS! I AM SO EXCITED! TIME! ALONE! WITH MY HUSBAND! AND NO CHILDREN! IT’S BEEN SO SO LONG! We might just sit there and stare at eachother going, “So. Nice weather we’re having.” for about 5 minutes before we decide these childless moments are better spent making out.)(what was I saying again? oh yeah), this project to get started on, a Totoro to make per Ethan and Jocelyn’s demands, and probably actually no craftiness going on because I will probably have to WORK this weekend. Yuck.

I know that paragraph is a mess, but I am just going to grin and bear it, and that means you will have to too. You can do it. Just go get your treasure, and it will help you through these hard, hard times of reading blogginess by amy. I’m sorry. There there.

– amy shakes her money maker

I am sitting here and decided, hell. Why not stay up and watch PR LIVE instead of going to bed and watching it tomorrow.

Then I thought, hell, why not blog about it live also! What fun!

So, in case you haven’t seen the show yet, and don’t want to be spoiled by spoilers, you might wnat to stop now.

1. So, they’re going to a party. Super fun.
2. Going to be 2 guests. Olsen twins? I heard something about the Olsen twins?
3. OMG!! OH MY GOD!! NOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOD NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I see Vincent. This can’t be good. Now’s their chance for revenge, if they have to dress him.
4. Oh wow. Angela. Stick rosettes all over her.
5. Oh. My. Goodness. They get a second chance. Holy shit, now THIS IS A TWIST! I LOVE IT!!!
6. Cocktail party outfit using only black and white – I love this. It’s like a level playing field to have them all have to use the same colors. I think it’ll show us even more what they can do.
7. Kind of nice to see Jeffrey eat crow, after gloating sooooo much about Angela being gone. Ha-ha!
8. i like that Timm reiterated what I spotted. I feel smart now. shocking.
9. WOW!!! They can’t leave any fabric any left over. they have to use it ALL! I LOVE IT!!
10. I remember why I never watch TV live. I hate commercials. I love TiVo. TiVo is my friend.
11. Oh no. “I’m going to do a hippie, beach party, cocktail dress.” JUST SAY NO ULI. I love you sweetie, but you need to steer CLEAR of the hippie look.
12. I see Angela making a rosette with her fabric.
13. vincent says they gave him extra fabric. excuses excuses.
14. i wish that sweet girl who got kicked out with her paper dress had won one so she could have another chance, cause i bet she would KICK IT.
15. dang, laura is getting really pregnant. poor woman, i bet she is SO tired.
16. More commercials. Zach Braff’s movie looks cute. I like Zach Braff, even though he wrote “sam” (natalie portman’s character) in Garden State as the Ideal Version Of A Girl As Envisioned By A Boy, and not as a real person. Well, at least in spots. I liked that movie, really I did, that just bugged me a little bit.
17. IT’S BACK IT’S BACK IT’S BACK!!
18. oh no. uli. NO. NO NO NO NO. NO “VERY 70s BEACHY” (they’re in the makeup thingee)
19. You know what I love the most about Tim? I look at these outfits, and I know something is wrong, and Tim just walks over and points straight to the thing, and then I go, “Yeah. That’s it.” Michael did that for Kayne earlier too. I love Michael. GO MICHAEL.
20. Laura looks like she’s about — … oh my god she’s crying. seriously, poor woman. she is so tired.. she needs to just go sleep for days.
21. UP AND ATTEM!
22. oh no… Gia has had an accident. i wonder what happened.. i hope she’s ok.
23. i’m worried about kayne. i don’t have any real idea of a lot of their dresses..
24. IF VINCENT…. no. i’m not even going to say it. it just WILL NOT happen.
25. angela is stuffing her scraps in the purse to give it volume? is that allowed? did others do this? this blogging is really interupting my watching of the show! still. i love tivo. did kayne stuff his in his model’s bag also?
26. OK people. i’m in commercials now.
27. ALISON! that’s her name. I wish Alison could have come back on the show.
28. angela: wow, i don’t hate it.
29. kayne: it looks a little boring. that white is going to kill him though.
30. laura: i… LOVE that dress. I LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT.
31. michael: she looks fantastic. not sure about that hairdo though.
32. jeffrey: she looks like a 13 year old street walker.. i don’t like it at all.
33. uli: oh my GOD, I LOVE THAT.. wow. i’m surprised.
34. vincent: i think i saw the model’s Princess.
35. let’s see what the judges think!!
36. yay! they liked michael!
37. vincent: that GOD nina doesn’t like it. cheap. TOO SHORT.
38. uli: HAHA – looks like pool floats. they don’t LOOOOVE it. but i don’t think they hate it..
39. angela: costumey. and she didn’t use her scraps.
40. jeffrey: yeah, seeing that model again, i really don’t like that. not at all. judges think it’s cheap, NOT elegant. not stepping out of his element.
41. laura: man.. i realy like this. it is just beautiful, and she managed to not have a V down to her navel. they like it, yay! i do like laura, i just felt like she was the SAME every week.
42. kayne – oh i’m not feeling good.. nina at least sees that he was trying to step away from the cheap and tawdry.
43. ok i’m pausing!

i always do this, every show.. i try to guess who’s going to win, and who’s going to lose. i think it’s got to go to michael. they didn’t have a single bad word to say about him, and his dress is fab. I predict, winner = Michael.

that means both the come-backs will be outta here, and one more designer will have to go. Jeffrey has won so many, I think it’ll be hard to cut him loose, even though I think he’s in the bottom. Kayne… oh kayne sweetie, you tried. so hard. but I think you’ll be going bye bye tonight. maybe some freak of nature jeffrey will go, but i bet kayne and jeffrey stand there together.

OK. UNpausing.

listeing to the judges gab.

eek. not looking good for uli. i liked it though. in the end, it’s still a beautiful dress.

OK HERE GOES! One is the winner! One of you will be out!

oh dammit, commercials.

HAHA!!! ALISON was the CLEAR winner in who everyone wanted to return! yay alison!

Winner: laura. she deserves it. so did michael, i bet that was a tough one. oh i’m so happy for her 🙂

bye bye angela. bye bye vincent.

BARF. Mr. Ego. “I do it so damn well. It’s a gift.” YOU WERE JUST CANNED, FREAKOZOID!

yeah, just as i predicted, kayne and jeffrey. it’s gotta be kayne.. i just love kayne, poor guy.

bye bye kayne. oh i’m so sad for him. Anna! He didn’t really have a whole collection in the making in the backroom of that bridal shop! Too bad.

And now the week of waiting begins again for NEXT week! I wish I had last season on my TiVo still, cause I’d watch it and dance around, “It’s just faaaaashiooooon!”

Another edition of Vacation Pictures that were NOT taken by the blurry camera phone. This edition features our visit to the Mystic Seaport, in Mystic, CT.

First, we saw some lovely flowers in the parking lot.

Nice huh? I knew you wouldn’t realize how HUMONGOUS these suckers are, so I made Ethan go out and stand next to them so you could see that they are GINORMOUS.

Once we were “inside”, they had big boats…

And they had little boats…

Battles were fought…

Precious cargo was looted…

Mommy and Daddy were also very glad to have paid a total of $2,468 just so the kids could play dressup..

swab a PRETEND boat’s wall…

play in a pretend kitchen…

(while grabbing one’s crotch)…

… because, you know, why go outside and see REAL boats when Mommy and Daddy can catch a break from chasing after Jocelyn trying to FLING herself in the water by letting them play in what is basically a House O Toys?

I also tried to go to see a show at the planetarium with Ethan, but it was a bit too technical and after being amazed for exactly 4.75 minutes, he wanted to go, so we did.

Stay tuned for the next episode in the Unblurry Vacation Photos Slide Show series…. “Submarines, Periscopes and Gagdets, OH MY!”

What? It’s like, 2 weeks into September and you’re sick of seeing the august banner? OH FINE. Here you go.

This month’s banner is an homage to Laid Off Dad, whose banners I adore. Go check them out.

Oh I love this show. Even if it is a leeeeetle bit boring after last season. (“It’s a MOTHER-F*CKING WALK-OFF!!” Sometimes I still dance around singing, “Lighten up it’s just faaaaaaaaaaaashiiiiiiiiiioooooooooooon!!” and have been known to comment, “Designers! You all f*cking suck!” ala Santino’s Tim Gunn impression.)

But I digress. This is merely a super quick post to point you over here, to Entertainment Weekly’s interview with Vincent.

Because, Oh. My. God. He is DELUSIONAL. and I have NO IDEA IF I SPELLED THAT CORRECTLY.

Here’s a quick quote from page 2:

Among the designers who are left on the show, which one do you think is worthy of winning?
Myself. I love the truth, and I’ll say this: If you look at the show and you know anything about design, you can see clearly who the designer was. They are amateurs. This show is full of amateur designers. I think one was way, way above and alone on the show. But I don’t do the ego thing. It’s not my style. But I love the truth.

How convenient that he is SO not about EGO. Just about the TRUTH. And the truth is, EVERYONE except HIM, are AMATEURS, and HE is the sole person WORTHY OF WINNING! (And I just CAN’T stop HITTING the SHIFT key. SEND HELP NOW.)

Someone needs to give him the kool-aid already. I’ll let you read while I go vomit. It is laugh out loud funny, to see how crazy and delusional he is. The impressive french lady, Cathreine Malandrino (I’m sure I spelled that wrong, SORRY!) would have totally gone out with him in his mind, but she was “a little bit too old.” – !!!!

I love Kayne, but unless he shapes up the tacky, I predict he’s gone next. Laura needs to step out of her albeit elegant, but boring mold and do something exciting (and that doesn’t have a neckline down to the waist might be nice for a change. We don’t need to see your model’s sternum in EVERYTHING YOU DESIGN). Jeffrey can design, but is a prick. Michael is my darling and I hope he wins. I think he’s going to be in the final 3 for sure. Uli is a genius at prints, but is anyone else getting sick of seeing braided ropes hanging off of everything she does? She also needs to step out of her comfort zone and make sure whatever she does isn’t straight from the hippie 70s.

So much for a quick post!