First off, they took a cheese grater to my feet.

A CHEESE GRATER.

I know the place I used to go to in VA used some sort of tool with a blade, which is pretty similar — but I swear, I am mentally traumatized now. I may never be able to grate cheese again.

Next, she kind of buffed the sides of my toes, but the hard callouses are still there — mostly because…

They painted my toes before doing any moisturizing! So they couldn’t moisturize my toes, because they were drying from the polish on them!

Anyway, it’s good to get this off my chest. Never going to that place again!

1st world problems, I know!

-amy

So we’ve spent a good bit of time in the car, out doing things, away from the house this weekend.

Cute the FIRST:

I was working in my studio, which is (now) in a smaller room off the big room in our basement. The big room has tall Ikea furniture holding many bins which hold toys. I could hear Jocelyn as she hummed and sang away as she pulled toys out – a Barbie head whose hair she could brush, some Strawberry Shortcake dolls and assorted furniture, a variety of very small stuffed animals. She hummed and played and then skipped off upstairs without cleaning up, so when I emerged from the studio and saw the toys on the floor, I called her down, saying, “Jocelyn, come clean up your toys!”

Her voice floated down the stairs to me, “Mom, I didn’t get out any toys.”

No malice, no indignation, just pure matter of fact. I looked again. Just to check. Yup, toys are indeed, on the floor.

“Well, come on down here, there are toys on the floor.”
Humming and skipping down, “OK, but I did not get out any toys!”
Arriving at the bottom of the stairs. Staring at the toys. Reiterating once more, in a calm, steady voice. “I don’t know how these got here. I did not get out any toys.”

I said nothing. I just watched her.

A beat went by.

“…….. but I’ll clean them up mommy.”

Oh yes, indeed, missy, you will!

CUTE/HILARIOUS THE SECOND:

On Saturday, Jocelyn took her hard earned $5 allowance and bought a $5 skantily bikini clad Barbie doll. She proceeded to carry it with her everywhere she went.

Ethan can entertain himself for hours with his DS, with a book, with legos.

Jocelyn entertains herself for hours with anything that she can then animate. She will very softly whisper to her dolls, or stuffed animals and have them interact with her, or others. She can play this way a long time. She’s very self conscious though and often won’t let us hear what is going on in these intricate enactments.

James was driving, and I was sitting beside him, when we heard Jocelyn tell us,

“Oops! I accidently popped Barbie’s head off!” She wasn’t upset, and in a moment reported, “I’ll just pop it back on.”

Then about 5 seconds went by when we heard her whispering to Barbie, “Stop screaming, and let me explain!”

Can you believe that???

“Stop screaming, and let me explain!”

Anthromoporphizing taken to the extreme. In her mind, Barbie was obviously screaming at the loss of her head, and Jocelyn was trying to placate her with explanations on head-popping off-ness.

Tears come to my eyes as I try not to stop laughing at that one.

AWESOME THE THIRD, AND LAST:

We got a call late Sunday night to view the house, so we piled into the car and went to Uno’s for dinner. On the kids menu they had several optical illusions, one of them something like this:

From http://www.coolopticalillusions.com/

When you move toward/away from the image, it will appear as if it is turning. Jocelyn held it on the table and moved her head closer and further away over and over, mimicking a possessed bird with a severe twitch, watching as the illusion caused the wheel to “spin”.

“I want to know how they did that!” she stated to me.

Later, I caught her busily coloring on her menu, but when I tried to show interest, she made her frowny face at me and covered up her work. I feigned disinterest until she forgot about me again, intent on her coloring. I looked and realized what she was trying to draw, and used my super special secret Parent Eyeball Telepathy to indicate to James that he should pay attention to his daughter.

He smiled, unknowing what exactly what she was working on, taking my Telepathy message as just, “Look at your cute coloring daughter,” and not seeing the depth there in. I made more urgent Parent Eyeball motions used STRONGER Telepathy to let him know he need to KEEP WATCHING HER — WAIT FOR IT!

She patiently finished her drawing, and then straightened it out on the table, and suddenly made the same bird-like motion, moving her face closer to the paper and further apart, trying to get her illustration to “move” in the same way the optical illusion had done.

James just about fell apart trying not to be AUDIBLE in his laughter and glee, and even though I knew what she was doing, seeing her actions was too much! We both giggled and laughed, much to Jocelyn’s disgust. She was VERY upset at us being a witness to her experiment and subsequent failure and let us know in no uncertain terms.

I had to try VERY HARD to not reply to her, “Stop screaming! I can explain!”

-amy

Which means we need to sell this house. Which means we need to get it ready, just like the little piggy, for market.

So the last two weekends have been avoiding the house like crazy while workman paint it from head to toe, and then install carpet from head to toe.

Have I ever told you how awesome new carpet is? Ours was AWFUL. And so the new carpet is doubly sweet! It’s sooo beautiful!

Also? Big empty rooms with newly laid carpet is perfect for fiddling around on the floor.

Ethan likes to just settle into a certain position that makes me cock my head to the side and say, “Whaaa?? HOW?!”

A picture is worth a thousand words, and all that, so here you go:

He does this REGULARLY. It freaks me out.

On watching this, James decided he was going to give it a try as well.

Let’s see how successful he was.

Yeah, not so much.

A for effort though!

And just LOOK at that beautiful carpet!

Jocelyn decided to get her ears pierced about a week after her birthday. She was very nervous, but she did great! She choose Hello Kitty studs to pierce her ears with. Of course.

All these photos were taken on my android phone (HTC Incredible) and run through the Vignette app for fancy retro awesome-sauce.

She appreciates it.

Happy birthday to Jocelyn (March 10).

I don’t blog as much as I want to — not enough time.

I don’t create NEW jewelry as much as I want to – not enough time.

I don’t stop and play with my kids as much as I want to should – not enough time!

I know this is really all bullshit. I have plenty of time if I would just DO IT ALREADY. It’s this mindset of — but I work full time, but I have a husband and 2 kids, but I need to clean the kitchen, but I really want to watch old episodes of Doctor Who while I sit here and make copies of jewelry I’ve already made — it really is bullshit. Just clutter in my head that I need to clear out to make room to DO IT ALREADY.

So this is a new years resolution. There’s lots I can do — even if I don’t have hours of time at my disposal. If I have 10 minutes – I can jot my thoughts right here in this blog. I can doodle in my sketchbook. I can grab a nerf gun and/or barbie doll and fire away/braid away.

Here’s to getting past all the stuff I need to do to the stuff I WANT to do — 10 minutes at a time.

And that’s 10 minutes. I’m off to my first enameling class of the term now! Can’t wait!

-amy

Well, 2 monsters, really.

Every morning (unless we’re on the ball and up and rarin’ to go — yeah, not usually happening!) when I hear a kid stirring, I give our family whistle, and wait to see if a little blur comes running into our room. After a few whistles, we usually have 2 little hot water bottles climb into bed with us for a little morning snuggle.

This morning, I heard Jocelyn in her room, gave the whistle, and sure enough, soon she had bulleted right into bed between James and I.

I needed to get up and get in the shower, but I REALLY didn’t want to.

So I said, “OK, I need to get up.”

And did nothing. While Jocelyn laid next to me.

“Psst. Jocelyn.” I stage whispered.

“What?” she whispered back.

“When I say ‘I need to get up’, you say, ‘NOOOOO!’ and throw your arm over me so I can’t get up!”

She giggled and whispered back, “OK! Do it, Mommy, do it!”

I returned to a normal voice, albeit a bit more dramatic than usual, and declared, “OK! I need to get up!” and didn’t move.

“Noooo!” Jocelyn squealed, and threw her arms around me in a giggly snuggle.

“Oh Dear! I can’t seem to get up out of bed! OH WELL!” I declared, and snuggled with her some more.

Ethan was quickly coached when he arrived minutes later, and we spent a happy 10 minutes with James and I declaring loudly that we really MUST get up, and being grabbed with laughing “NOOOO!”‘s to stop us from doing so. Then they would declare THEY had to get up, and we would grab them and declare “NEVER!”

Much fun was had by all. However, the hour grew late. So when I REALLY DID HAAAAAVE to get up, I had to resort to deceit and trickery.

I looked at my husband.

“James.”

“JAMES!”

James blinked and then got it, and said loudly, “OK I HAVE TO GET UP!”

They pounced on him, and I managed to slip out of bed and hop into the shower.

Happy New Years to you and yours! May you always have someone(s) in your bed trying to keep you in their snuggles.

-Amy

So no, seriously, they do enjoy books and have always enjoyed books. Jocelyn has taken to reading in a scary way this past kindergarten year, and many the time James and I have looked at each other with eyes wide and said, “Did she really just read ‘Transcendentalism?’” I know you’re not supposed to compare your children, but dude! She is *way* better at reading at this age than Ethan was at this age!

Reading has been a little trickier for Ethan, mostly because he prefers to look at the first letter of a word and then take a while guess if he doesn’t know it, rather than, you know, that pesky sounding it out and all. This however, hasn’t dampened his love of reading at all, and this past 2nd grade year when the “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” movie came out and the craze swept the elementary school, he read through all three books within, and I swear I’m not making this up, 15 minutes.* There just may have been a few words in there that he took wild stabs at, and when asked, he has no idea of the names of the characters — this is due, I’m sure, to just not having heard them said out loud.** Don’t worry. He can tell you word for word the fart joke told by said character.

*OK, I made that up.
** This coming from a person who pronounced, in her head, the word ‘gigantic’ as “guy-gan-tick” all the way up into jr high because she had only seen it spelled. Not judging here!

I have actually totally longed for this. I have always had a great love of books, and growing up, always had a book in my hand or in my backpack waiting to be in my hand. I devoured children’s literature and then young adult literature and never really outgrew any of it. I still have many of my books from my teenage years on my shelves, and steadfastly refuse to get rid of them — especially not NOW, not when we’re RIGHT ON THE CUSP of our own children being able to READ them!!

A lot of my favorite books are geared a tad more for girls than boys, Noel Streatfield with her “Shoe” books (Ballet Shoes, Dancing Shoes, Skating Shoes are my top 3), Frances Hodgeson Burnett with “The Little Princess” and “The Secret Garden” and of course the complete works of Lucy Maud Montgomery, of “Anne of Green Gables” fame. Jocelyn, while a great kindergarten reader, is still a few years away from these.

But there are plenty children’s books that would be perfect for Ethan, and for years James and I would say, “Is he old enough for X?” “No, probably not quite yet.” And so we’ve stuck with the Junie B and Magic School Bus, and Nate the Great. Oh and Star Wars, let’s not forget the 1,472 Star Wars EZ readers that grace our shelves.

Until we introduced Harry Potter.

We drove out to Utah in June, a decision that must have been made in delirium for all the sense it made. My brother and his family were going out, and when 1 member of a 6 sibling family decides to go visit (that’s right! I am the 2nd youngest of 6 children!), a mob mentality often kicks in and other siblings will try to make it as well. We didn’t really have the time to go for very long, which makes this decision to DRIVE TO UTAH even MORE daft, but there you have it. We drove to Utah, spent 4 days, and then drove back. That was 6 days of driving, for 4 days in Utah. Like I said. A decision made in delirium.

Another decision I made, which actually turned out OK, was to forego the portable DVD player. It always has cords everywhere and switching DVDs is a pain and Jocelyn always gets bored of it after 10 minutes anyway. We didn’t forego movies all together, we just skipped the VISUAL of movies. I played movies from my ipod over the car’s audio instead. They have all the movies pretty much memorized anyway, so it worked out fine. I think I did hand over my phone once or twice to let someone who was particularly irritable watch a movie to “just watch this and quit asking Mommy where the hotel is already!”

It was when we were about a day away from Utah that we decided to put in the audio version of Harry Potter and the Sorceror’s Stone. At first, we had no cooperation from the pipsquirts in the back seat.

“Mom, there’s a MOVIE of this.” Ethan informed me.
“Yeah, so?” I replied.
“Don’t you know, it’s better to WATCH something than to have to READ. You can see it better in a MOVIE.”

Oh, words have never cut me to the heart quicker! Luckily, I think he’s since seen the error of his ways.

“Have you seen the movie?” I asked gingerly.
“Parts of it. At daycare.” he replied.

I’ve shielded him from my favorites all this time only for him to catch parts of it at daycare? Oh, my tattered heart! Next someone will just show Jocelyn the good parts of The Last Unicorn!

We listened to Harry Potter, and the kids slowly grew more enthusiastic and enthralled in the story. We listened as the troll almost got Hermione, and Harry got troll bogies (British for boogers! See, it’s educational!). We learned how to “swish and FLICK!” and of course, “ALOHAMORA!” and witnessed a dragon being hatched in Hagrid’s hut — Ethan and Jocelyn went from bored to tears to on the edge of their seats. We reached the beginning of the climactic ending of the first book late at night in the car, and I stopped the tape and informed everyone we’d listen to the ending the NEXT day, as I didn’t want to worry about Jocelyn waking up at 3am being scared. (The girl has watched The Nightmare before Christmas over 100 times, but you never know how she might react to something scary for the first time.)

There was MUCH protesting and whining and promises to not be scared, promise! Which was a far cry from when we had started the book! We finished it the next day, re-listened to bits and pieces whenever we were in the car through our days in Utah, and then went through book 2 on the way home.

That was in June. Since we got home, Ethan has commandeered the CDs to book 2 (we only have book 1 on tape) and has been playing them NONSTOP. The second we get in the car and before I even have my seatbelt fastened, it’s, “Mom, can you turn on Harry Potter?” I will pause it to ask how something went and it’s, “Mom, can you turn on Harry Potter?” We get home and second Ethan’s set down his bag he’s turned on Harry Potter. At night after reading time, he goes to sleep listening to Harry Potter. And in the morning? How I know he’s awake? He’s downstairs playing legos and … you guessed it. Listening to Harry Potter.

I think since June, we listened to book 2 approximately 1 meeeeellion times. You know. Approximately.

Now, let me make sure this is clear. I love Harry Potter. I’ve purchased the books the minute they were released and read them in 24 hours. I’ve seen every Harry Potter movie. James and I even attended a midnight party for the release of book seven. I even listened to a Harry Potter podcast for a while! Sh*t, JAMES AND I listen to Harry Potter when WE fall asleep and have for YEARS!

All this and I never thought I would ever say these words….

I am totally SICK of Harry Potter!

Ethan has even started to read through book one each night during our “reading time” — OK in my book, even though he’s heard it on tape already. We own the movie to the Sorceror’s Stone, which has been on repeat as well, mostly on the weekends.

Finally, in response to book 2 brain overload (it’s been playing every day since JUNE!) I ordered books 3 and 4 on CD so we can listen to them as well, and got Netflix to deliver the book 2 movie. Maybe now we can finish up our Harry Potter summer without Mommy and Daddy going batsh*t crazy

I only hope that this is only the beginning, and someday Ethan and Jocelyn will be just as nutty over some of my other favorite books as well.

This year, they moved from the Tyson’s Sheraton, to the Chantilly Expo Center, a move I thought was a little dubious, as which would you prefer to hang out in? A lovely hotel, or a concrete warehouse? However, it was always totally jam packed at the Sheraton during public hours, so the expo center was definitely the best move.

Public hours are on Saturday and Sunday from 11-4. the public pays $10, enters, looks at all the awesome displays, watches a few Brick Films, builds their own at the Stay and Play, maybe take the little ones for a bounce on the moon bounce, watches the Mindstorms competition, maybe a little Bingo for Lego prizes. All very awesome.

So what do you get if you go the full registration route? Well, first, you pay about $50, instead of $10, and there are no discounted registrations. If you are over 6, you register, and if you’re under 18, you must be accompanied by an adult, who must also register.

But oh the awesomeness you get as a full registrant!!

First of all, you don’t just walk through and look at everyone’s creations. You get to bring your own MOC — “My Own Creation”. Ethan registered his “Pokeball Factory” and a very awesomesauce “Missile Launcher”. Next year, we’ll have to see about ALL of us bringing MOCs!

Here are some of the seminars: Historic Architechture, Teaching Math with The Brick, Landscaping, Lights! Camera! Lego!, Arduino Processor, Bloggers’ Roundtable, and more.

You get to participate in The Running of the Bulls, which is a Lego Store sale – after the store closes, they reopen and sell damaged boxes (barely noticeable damage!) to Brickees for a significant discount. SIGNIFICANT!

There are lots of awesome games – Bingo (the registrants only bingo has the big lego prizes, unlike the mini bingo that the public is allowed to play), Minotaurus Tournament, Combo Build, Speed Build, & Dirty Buildster. After 9pm on Saturday night, they kick out any kids and have BYOB time, with a LEGO Hold’em Tournament, Dirter Brickster, and of course, the Drunk Speed-Build.

There is a charity auction, and a yard sale — where folks put out the stuff they want to unload, and the lego market is open! I saw some vintage legos, still in the box, from the 70s. It was incredible!! there is also opening and closing ceremonies, and awards given for the best MOCs from each category — which registrants get to vote for, and enter, of course!

James went to the Running of the Bulls while I went home with the kids, and the next night, he went home with the kids and I stayed to play Hold’em. (I totally won, came heads up with another guy who lives not even a mile from me, that it turns out I’d met at some other poker events in the area.) James and the kids should have stayed long, because Ethan would have rocked the house with the Dirty buildster (each entrant is given a cup of assorted legos and makes the best creation they can). I was walking around oohing and ahhing as the Dirty Buildsters were creating, when I got tapped to be the co-judge! It was very tough, as they were all so awesome, but the other judge and I didn’t pull each other’s hair too much to decide on the winners.

It has been just incredibly awesome. My only sadness is I keep thinking, “Next year, we need to do that.” or “Next year, we’re definitely doing THIS!” But alas, next year, we will not be in the DC metro area anymore — we’ll be moving to Denver next summer. Maybe we’ll come back for a vacation for BrickFair 2011 — We’ll definitely be making plans for some of the other lego festivals going on around the country (sadly, none in Denver).

If you like Legos, and want to feel what’s it’s like to dock with the Mother Ship and meet more of “your kind of people” — I can’t recommend registering as a full exhibitor at the BrickFair any more — it is just awesome – awesome folks, awesome MOCS, awesome fun.

http://www.brickfair.com

I will post some pictures this week of some of the awesome MOCs on display!

-amy