I really wish I had blogged during this whole process, because it has been totally surreal. The weeks before leaving Virginia was filled with “last times” doing this, and “last time” doing that. I do want to write a little bit about it, and plus I have photos. Always good to post photos!

Jocelyn had her ballet/jazz dance recital the week before our departure.

Since James’ company was relocating us, it was very nice to have packers come in and totally pack us up. What would have taken us weeks was done in 2 days. Amazing! We were packed up Thursday June 23 and part of Friday, and then everything was loaded onto the moving truck. We left that evening and headed for Indiana, to visit with my brother’s family. The kids had a blast.

cousins: ages 2-16, all playing legos. only missing 1 cousin who was out of town

trampolines – always fun

Last fall we drove to Utah and tried going w/out any sort of portable DVD player(s). We had the kind with 2 screens that strapped onto the back of the front seats’ headrests and there was always some todo about who got to pick what and Jocelyn would always get bored 15 minutes into her choice and Ethan would be stuck with it and so we just did away with it. We played movies over the car speakers (just from our phones/ipods) and it worked out fine, though this trip we didn’t even do that. There was a lot of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and Nintendo DS playing, and the trip really did go well with minimal arguments.

We spent Sunday with my brother’s family, and then hit the road Monday and had dinner with James’ sister in St. Louis. Tuesday we were on the road when our VA house closed (didn’t have to be there, the relocation company handled it all, yay!) and we squealed with delight somewhere in Kansas when our realtor called and told us all went smoothly. Wednesday we arrived in Colorado and Thursday we closed on our new house. Then we had a long 4th of July holiday weekend of spending the days in our empty house or at the hotel pool, while we waited for our household goods to arrive. The moving truck arrived Tuesday, July 5th and there was much rejoicing at having all our stuff, albeit hidden away in boxes!

I have been adjusting to staying home with the kids, and I think we’ve settled into a nice groove — just in time for school to start! Only a week left, and then school begins. I will soon know the feeling of bliss every other stay at home mom feels when the little whiners darlings go off to school!

My Etsy shop and my own website are back up and taking orders — and lots of new things are cooking just waiting to get photographed and posted. Now if I could only find my macro lens…

-Amy

So we’ve spent a good bit of time in the car, out doing things, away from the house this weekend.

Cute the FIRST:

I was working in my studio, which is (now) in a smaller room off the big room in our basement. The big room has tall Ikea furniture holding many bins which hold toys. I could hear Jocelyn as she hummed and sang away as she pulled toys out – a Barbie head whose hair she could brush, some Strawberry Shortcake dolls and assorted furniture, a variety of very small stuffed animals. She hummed and played and then skipped off upstairs without cleaning up, so when I emerged from the studio and saw the toys on the floor, I called her down, saying, “Jocelyn, come clean up your toys!”

Her voice floated down the stairs to me, “Mom, I didn’t get out any toys.”

No malice, no indignation, just pure matter of fact. I looked again. Just to check. Yup, toys are indeed, on the floor.

“Well, come on down here, there are toys on the floor.”
Humming and skipping down, “OK, but I did not get out any toys!”
Arriving at the bottom of the stairs. Staring at the toys. Reiterating once more, in a calm, steady voice. “I don’t know how these got here. I did not get out any toys.”

I said nothing. I just watched her.

A beat went by.

“…….. but I’ll clean them up mommy.”

Oh yes, indeed, missy, you will!

CUTE/HILARIOUS THE SECOND:

On Saturday, Jocelyn took her hard earned $5 allowance and bought a $5 skantily bikini clad Barbie doll. She proceeded to carry it with her everywhere she went.

Ethan can entertain himself for hours with his DS, with a book, with legos.

Jocelyn entertains herself for hours with anything that she can then animate. She will very softly whisper to her dolls, or stuffed animals and have them interact with her, or others. She can play this way a long time. She’s very self conscious though and often won’t let us hear what is going on in these intricate enactments.

James was driving, and I was sitting beside him, when we heard Jocelyn tell us,

“Oops! I accidently popped Barbie’s head off!” She wasn’t upset, and in a moment reported, “I’ll just pop it back on.”

Then about 5 seconds went by when we heard her whispering to Barbie, “Stop screaming, and let me explain!”

Can you believe that???

“Stop screaming, and let me explain!”

Anthromoporphizing taken to the extreme. In her mind, Barbie was obviously screaming at the loss of her head, and Jocelyn was trying to placate her with explanations on head-popping off-ness.

Tears come to my eyes as I try not to stop laughing at that one.

AWESOME THE THIRD, AND LAST:

We got a call late Sunday night to view the house, so we piled into the car and went to Uno’s for dinner. On the kids menu they had several optical illusions, one of them something like this:

From http://www.coolopticalillusions.com/

When you move toward/away from the image, it will appear as if it is turning. Jocelyn held it on the table and moved her head closer and further away over and over, mimicking a possessed bird with a severe twitch, watching as the illusion caused the wheel to “spin”.

“I want to know how they did that!” she stated to me.

Later, I caught her busily coloring on her menu, but when I tried to show interest, she made her frowny face at me and covered up her work. I feigned disinterest until she forgot about me again, intent on her coloring. I looked and realized what she was trying to draw, and used my super special secret Parent Eyeball Telepathy to indicate to James that he should pay attention to his daughter.

He smiled, unknowing what exactly what she was working on, taking my Telepathy message as just, “Look at your cute coloring daughter,” and not seeing the depth there in. I made more urgent Parent Eyeball motions used STRONGER Telepathy to let him know he need to KEEP WATCHING HER — WAIT FOR IT!

She patiently finished her drawing, and then straightened it out on the table, and suddenly made the same bird-like motion, moving her face closer to the paper and further apart, trying to get her illustration to “move” in the same way the optical illusion had done.

James just about fell apart trying not to be AUDIBLE in his laughter and glee, and even though I knew what she was doing, seeing her actions was too much! We both giggled and laughed, much to Jocelyn’s disgust. She was VERY upset at us being a witness to her experiment and subsequent failure and let us know in no uncertain terms.

I had to try VERY HARD to not reply to her, “Stop screaming! I can explain!”

-amy

Mermaid + Merboy. Perhaps a prince! He does have a crown.

Two separate paper cutouts, with the hands glued together.

Mer-boy prince.

Mer-maid!

OMG she just kills me.

We had my brother and his family come visit us a few weeks ago. The weekend after they came, we were having the entire house interior painted, so the house was either scary “you’ve been robbed!” clean, or a mass of migraine inducing “a twister came through here!” messy (the basement).

We boxed up a lot of stuff, and had a lot of boxes around which the kids LOVED. Ethan, Jocelyn, cousin Kade & Eric built a massive box fort which sadly, I didn’t get a picture of. But I did get pictures of Elizabeth, the adorable almost 2 year old!

Look! A box!

Hmmm, something inside that box pushed it over! What could it be?

An Elizabeth?

Yup, it’s an Elizabeth!

She also likes to model Spy Gear Night Vision Goggles:

She wasn’t the only one that likes to play in the box.

Which means we need to sell this house. Which means we need to get it ready, just like the little piggy, for market.

So the last two weekends have been avoiding the house like crazy while workman paint it from head to toe, and then install carpet from head to toe.

Have I ever told you how awesome new carpet is? Ours was AWFUL. And so the new carpet is doubly sweet! It’s sooo beautiful!

Also? Big empty rooms with newly laid carpet is perfect for fiddling around on the floor.

Ethan likes to just settle into a certain position that makes me cock my head to the side and say, “Whaaa?? HOW?!”

A picture is worth a thousand words, and all that, so here you go:

He does this REGULARLY. It freaks me out.

On watching this, James decided he was going to give it a try as well.

Let’s see how successful he was.

Yeah, not so much.

A for effort though!

And just LOOK at that beautiful carpet!

Jocelyn decided to get her ears pierced about a week after her birthday. She was very nervous, but she did great! She choose Hello Kitty studs to pierce her ears with. Of course.

All these photos were taken on my android phone (HTC Incredible) and run through the Vignette app for fancy retro awesome-sauce.

She appreciates it.

Happy birthday to Jocelyn (March 10).

A week or so ago, James and I were cleaning out our guest room really thoroughly (getting this house ready to put on the market!) and the kids were also supposed to be cleaning their rooms.

We were all working pretty hard, when Ethan came in, toting a nerf gun, and announced, “When we’re done with all this work, I suggest we have the BATTLE OF OUR LIVES.”

Nerf gun battles abound at our house. We agreed that sounded like a fantastic idea.

LAST MINUTE PARENTING WINS THE DAY

Today is Dr. Suess’ birthday, and our school is honoring it with a book character dress up day. I didn’t remember until late last night, so this morning was fraught with quickly trying to come up with SOMEthing, ANYthing, for the kids to dress up with.

Jocelyn was easy — we had a pair of Thing 1 and Thing 2 shirts that Ethan insisted on getting last year. Today, she went as Thing 1 (well, Thing 1, with normal hair, a pink skirt, and stripey tights.)

However, I did come up with (what I thought was) an INGENIOUS idea — I also took a marker, made a STAR on her tummy (on her skin) and said, “Now you’re a SUPER SECRET SNEETCH, with a STAR upon THARS.”

She was tickled to death!

Ethan was harder. Of course, he wanted to dress up as a Star Wars clone trooper, one of his many halloween costumes. We adamantly said NO — it’s BOOK character dress up, not MOVIE character dress up. He pointedly held up his huge stacks of Star Wars books, but we (OK it was James mostly) stuck to our (his) guns. No Star Wars. — A big reason is, we were pretty sure that wearing a clone trooper uniform all day may cause him to ACT like a clone trooper all day, and his teacher doesn’t need to deal with THAT.

All the things Ethan did NOT agree to dressing up as:

- A secret sneetch (aw MAN! can’t he see my BRILLIANCE?)
- Harry the Horrible
- Nate the Great
- Someone from the Magic School Bus books
- Ralph S. Mouse (a bicycle helmet, a little marker for whiskers, DONE)
- Captain Underpants (“COME ON MOM YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!”)
- One of the kids from Captain Underpants
- The Wimpy Kid (this one would have been hard, but he does have a promotional wimpy kid tshirt kicking around somewhere)

He finally decided on Max from Where the Wild Things Are. He wore red footed jammies to school, with cars on them — despite the fact that Max’s were plain red with a hood with monsterness on it.

Oh well!

I can’t wait to hear how it all went.

WHO KNEW THE BIRDS AND THE BEES WERE SO DAMNED AMUSING

These kids have been into baby stuff for a while – hearing the story of their own birth, hearing about how they would KICK me when I was pregnant, and they just love babies in general. Babies, puppies, kitties, bears, squirrels… baby ANYTHING. Ethan is studying all about autobiographies in school right now, so not only is he interested babies, but he is doing assignments about himself – relate a story about when he was a baby, how much he weighed, where was he born, etc.

So about a month ago, I got them this book: It’s NOT the Stork! — figuring if they were so interested, we might as well give them plenty of real information on the subject, and save us the hassle of having “the talk” with them as teens or preteens. I really like this book, it’s full of good information, differences between boys and girls – inside and out, different kinds of families, how babies are made, and has also helped put to rest some myths that I’m not certain have REALLY been laid to rest in this house: the fact that babies AREN’T in the mom’s STOMACH, and (here’s a rumor that Jocelyn clung to when she was a wee toddler,) the myth that babies are POOPED OUT when they are born.

It’s a fairly large book, with a lot of info in it, and generally they’ve kind of skipped around, settling on the parts they want to read. The pages where the sperm swim to get to the egg is a favorite, due to the cartoon characters – “hey its’ this way!” “We’ve been swimming forever!” etc. but the part that all parents dread talking to their kids about, has not really been hit on much with my kids with all their flipping through this book.

Until last night.

Ethan is our non-fiction guy, he loves to read about facts and science, so it’s been his favorite lately. He settled down with it and flipped to the pages with the sperm swimming to the egg pages, when he said, “But how does the sperm GET INTO the vagina?”

I just quietly flipped back a page or two where it covers this, and he started reading aloud. When he got to.. *ahem* the pertinent details, he stopped DEAD, looking totally AGHAST, turned and looked at me, while I sat there completely beet red. Then hollered to Jocelyn, who was sitting on the floor reading her own book to herself.

“JOCELYN! You have GOT TO HEAR THIS! The daddy puts his PENIS inside the mommy’s VAGINA!!”

They both thought it was the most hilarious and RIDICULOUS thing in the world.

It is kind of ridiculous when you think about it.

After the laughter and giggling died down — I told them that I’m glad they are learning so much about babies, but that it would NOT be appropriate to talk about this kind of stuff at school. They both nodded and laughed some more.

So! It’s especially interesting that Ethan’s teacher told James this story about Ethan in school yesterday!

His class were writing up their own autobiographical information, and Ethan got to a part where he was supposed to put down how much he weighed as a newborn, in a complete sentence. He raised his hand and the teacher came over, and Ethan whispered to him, “Is it OK if I write uterus?”

He had taken my warning to heart and was concerned about being inappropriate!

WHILE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT, KILN FIRED PLACENTA PLEASE!

Because I’m a masochistic sadist (i don’t know which is which term means what so I’m using both) I made a google alert for “used paragon kiln for sale”. So anytime google finds a hit for that search term, it emails me. Then I can get excited before remembering that a) we’re moving and big kiln purchases, however used and cheap they may be, are not a good idea, and b) i shouldn’t be buying a kiln anyway, remember that casting kit you got amy? the one you haven’t even used once yet? how about you try THAT out before spending over $500 bucks on a kiln, hmmmm??? See — I like to torture myself with emails about what I want to buy before I tell myself I can’t buy it.

Well, sadly, my used kiln google alert pretty much just turns up links to a lot of spam, which I delete and move on. Lately, my hopes don’t even get that temporary rise when I see the subject of the email.

It used to go like this:

subject: Google Alert – used paragon kiln for sale

amy: (oh. OH! maybe this is it! maybe there’s a kiln for sale somewhere that is priced so low, i can buy it and not feel guilty!)

-click open email-

amy: (god damn “Allen heath gl2400 service manual used paragon gl24 kiln for sale bigger dick.” F**k you.

~fini~

This time though, I was slightly amused that this bout of spam google found for me included “sacred fist,” “placenta,” as well as “used kiln” in all the jumble of words-trying-to-catch-the-google-search. Maybe the spammer bot was trying to lure some pagan native american home birthing new mommies who needed a used kiln to make their sacred fist placenta new moon life fajitas with.

THAT IS ENOUGH FROM YOU, MADAM!

And with kiln fired placenta fajitas, I shall bid you adieu.

- Amy

(LOOKIT THAT I DIDN’T SAY A WORD ABOUT JEWELRY!)

(THAT KILN SPAM STORY TOTALLY DOESN’T COUNT)

Well, 2 monsters, really.

Every morning (unless we’re on the ball and up and rarin’ to go — yeah, not usually happening!) when I hear a kid stirring, I give our family whistle, and wait to see if a little blur comes running into our room. After a few whistles, we usually have 2 little hot water bottles climb into bed with us for a little morning snuggle.

This morning, I heard Jocelyn in her room, gave the whistle, and sure enough, soon she had bulleted right into bed between James and I.

I needed to get up and get in the shower, but I REALLY didn’t want to.

So I said, “OK, I need to get up.”

And did nothing. While Jocelyn laid next to me.

“Psst. Jocelyn.” I stage whispered.

“What?” she whispered back.

“When I say ‘I need to get up’, you say, ‘NOOOOO!’ and throw your arm over me so I can’t get up!”

She giggled and whispered back, “OK! Do it, Mommy, do it!”

I returned to a normal voice, albeit a bit more dramatic than usual, and declared, “OK! I need to get up!” and didn’t move.

“Noooo!” Jocelyn squealed, and threw her arms around me in a giggly snuggle.

“Oh Dear! I can’t seem to get up out of bed! OH WELL!” I declared, and snuggled with her some more.

Ethan was quickly coached when he arrived minutes later, and we spent a happy 10 minutes with James and I declaring loudly that we really MUST get up, and being grabbed with laughing “NOOOO!”‘s to stop us from doing so. Then they would declare THEY had to get up, and we would grab them and declare “NEVER!”

Much fun was had by all. However, the hour grew late. So when I REALLY DID HAAAAAVE to get up, I had to resort to deceit and trickery.

I looked at my husband.

“James.”

“JAMES!”

James blinked and then got it, and said loudly, “OK I HAVE TO GET UP!”

They pounced on him, and I managed to slip out of bed and hop into the shower.

Happy New Years to you and yours! May you always have someone(s) in your bed trying to keep you in their snuggles.

-Amy

So it’s hard to actually breath that sigh of relief — knowing that in the past, right afterward usually comes the kick to the gut. But we tentatively are, and we’re making sure that Ethan knows how proud we are of all his hard work.

He is doing awesome in school. This year he has a male teacher, and Mr. A has been great. His special ed teacher is also male, and Ethan is really stepping up to take charge and be responsible for his work.

Last year we often had reports of Ethan just plain not doing work — instead he would crawl on the floor picking rocks out of people’s shoes, he would fiddle around on his chair and pick at his own fingernails (picking is huge with this boy) or just wouldn’t be able to focus on that page of work enough to get it done.

He did have an altercation on the bus the past week — dealing with some of the neighborhood boys is always fraught with peril. He does all right when it is just one or two, but our neighborhood has a LOT of young kids, and more normally it is a pack of boys running around, and when they get together they seem to gravitate to aggravating Ethan — which Ethan then gets very aggressive about, making wild threats and often resorting to violence. Which then leads to him being the first one they go to to aggravate. It’s not a fun cycle.

Overall though, we have had a fantastic start to school. Yesterday his Special Ed teacher (who works with him in his normal classroom, along with several other kids) emailed us to let us know that Ethan had another great day. I was at work, and after reading it, I actually teared up with joy. It’s nice to savor these moments, and I hope it lasts as LONG AS POSSIBLE.

Today I’m home sick with a not-acting-very-sick girl, and as she sits and watches Strawberry Shortcake, I was reading through my email and clicked a link to read an excerpt from “Buzz: A Year of Paying Attention” from Katherine Ellison, a memoir about her son’s battle with ADD. Her son Buzz was older than Ethan is now, but so many things sounded so familiar in this short excerpt that I had to leave the room, least Jocelyn look up from Strawberry to see her mom bawling with emotion.

I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me,

“Isn’t ADD/ADHD just boys being boys?”
“It’s because boys learn at a different pace then girls”
“sometimes learning disabilities are mistaken for ADD”
“young brains shouldn’t be drugged, they’re still developing!”
“so, when he’s on ADHD meds, doesn’t it make him less like himself?”
“adhd medications are a conspiracy by the medical professionals!”
“there is no such thing as ADHD, no really!”

I resisted medication our son for most of 1st grade, half believing all or at least some of the above myself. But finally, we reached our breaking point. It sounds like our breaking point whas not nearly as far as the poor author of this book and her son. There have been more times than I can count that both he and I have held on to each other and cried, just as at the end of the excerpt.

Please read this excerpt, go buy the book, try not to label the next boy you see as “a bad/mean kid”, and for GOD’S SAKE, don’t tell the parent putting their child on ADHD meds makes them a bad parent. ADHD is recognized as a actual neurological disorder, and it’s about time that myth was dispelled. ADHD medications have been in use for over 30 years and have been proven SAFE. Even for young developing minds.

We already have enough trouble convincing ourselves we’re not bad parents to hear it from you too.

I am going to be picking up this book TODAY and reading it every moment I can. In between taking Ethan to the child psychologist, and the child psychiatrist that is!

-amy