Number three? Number THREE??? I know that I forgot about my weekly friday theme for a few weeks, but I thought we’d be on 4 or 5 at least?

Blah. I suck! wahoo!

So yesterday, I was perusing my stats to see if anyone ever stops by here anymore, what with my prolonged not-writing-ness and continued grumpiness, and stumbled upon an old post that someone had found while searching for “personifying poop” (don’t worry, no poop will be personified (and don’t you think they actually meant anthromorphized?) in the following recyled post below). I clicked, read my own post, and I must say, I cracked myself up. Here’s an excerpt from my near-death experience:

I can only relate the anguish that I underwent by telling you that I thought death was imminent. My abdomen felt like a fiery pit of hell. My head felt all feverish, goose bumps broke out on my skin, and I actually started sweating like a pig. I could not contain the moaning that seemed to come from my throat.

Another thing I love about this post? In the title bar of the browser, it states: “Poop. at Crazy Mokes.” What’s not to love about that?? So click, and go get your poop, at crazy mokes.

So, a near-death poop experience, and a cute kid story at the end to boot. Go read, have a chuckle, and have a great weekend. Mine will be spent cheering on soccer players under the age of 6, and probably buying & putting together Ikea furniture. Yay for cheap scandinavian consumerism!

-amy wears a hat and scarf indoors.

Birthday cake for a co-worker, which reads, “One Step Closer to Death”.

As you know, I have my wallet back in my possession. Despite my earlier statements that I’m purchasing some sort of device that will aid me in it’s recovery when it goes missing, after giving my vehement thanks to whatever gods there may be, I’ve pretty much gone back to normal in it’s regard.

When I first got it back, the lady who handed it to me said casually, “I broke your zipper, I’m afraid..” and I had a brief moment of heart palpitation as I took it from her and quickly inspected it. My mom bought me this wallet from Nordstrom probably over 10 years ago, and no other wallet has ever fit so perfectly into my hand and my lifestyle as well. In short, I LOVE this wallet, and whenever it goes missing, my first lament after the fact that, you know, all my money-getting-cards and info are now in the hands of who knows who, is that it is the PERFECT WALLET, and NOW IT’S GONE, WAAAAHHHH!

Now, I say that it’s perfect, but technically, this is not true. “Perfect” denotes that it is without any flaws or imperfections. That I find absolutely no fault with it. And sadly, I do have one minor complaint that makes it a teeny tiny bit less than perfect - it zips up from the wrong side. It really is a minor thing, and one would wonder how any “side” could be the “wrong” side to zip up from, but all I know is when I pick it up and unzip it I always then have to turn it around to get at the money/cards slots thing. Always. Unzip, flip. It’s always on the wrong side. It’s the way I unzip. But as you now know, this really is a petty little complaint. I love my wallet, love love love it. Even though it isn’t truly correct to say so, it’s perfect and none other have ever suited me as much as this one.

So the thought of the zipper being broken really did grab my heart with the icy grip of fear. Oh my god! What would I do if this wallet had finally gone kaput?! Even before the soft black leather touched my skin I had run through all the possible scenarios how bad it could be and even if it really was broken, I could always have the zipper replaced (and they could put it in the opposite way too!).. I checked it out and saw that the zipper was fine, though some bits of paper from a receipt had gotten zipped into the threads and had caused it to pucker open. This has happened to me countless times (because I keep way too much shit in my wallet) and is easily remedied. You merely grab the zipper handle thingee and yank it over the caught paper really hard. Then pick out the paper bits and zip it up normally. Relief. My wallet was fine. Oh happy day! Oh, and of course, it was found and not lost and all that jazz, yadda yadda yadda.

As I mentioned, after the initial elation, I have largely forgotten about my wallet. Today, I took a moment to open it up, sort through all the receipts and paper bits therein and toss anything that needed tossing. While I had everything out, I careful looked at the zipper, and seeing there were still itty bitty paper bits stuck in the zipper, unzipped it as far as it could go and picked them all out. For the first time in 10 years, I realized that while the zipper is sewed quite firmly to the wallet .. the end isn’t sewed down to anything. THe wallet makers simply stuck the extra 2 inches of zipper length into a (non-sewed shut) opening in the middle where the zipper begun on one side, and ended on the other. I pulled the end of the zipper out and contemplated. I pulled the other end out and pondered some more.

Could this be this easy? To just switch the zipper head thingee (what ARE those things called??) around and have it go the other way? After ten years I could have the PERFECT WALLET in 1 minute of work? What if after I pulled the zipper head thingee off, I couldn’t get it back on the zipper again? I did a little testing and then tossed in the towel and just did it.

Now my zipper zips up the opposite way. Now when I unzip it, the correct side (with the money and the cards) is facing me and I don’t have to flip it around.

I truly have THE PERFECT WALLET!!!

Now that this has been accomplished, I REALLY don’t want to lose it. So I wrote a little message on the back of my business card to any would-be-finder of the wallet.

And I put it where I think it’ll be seen. After they dig through all the receipts that I’m sure will be occupying the center space.

I should still look into wallet finder thingees though.

I kind of missed a new banner for april. But here’s the May banner, in honor of Ethan’s birthday.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go fill out birthday party invitations.

I love playing sudoku. It started with the washington post express when I had a temp job working in DC. I’d get the express, skim through it, and do the puzzle on the train into town. When I stopped doing that, my habit tapered off a bit… ok, I stopped completely. but that has all changed now that I have sudoku on my phone. I always thought I could never do that, I always thought I HAD to have paper and pencil to do a puzzle, but no. The verizon sudoku program is a good one, and I will often carry my phone to bed with me to have one more go at the current puzzle (and maybe start another one) before calling it a night.

Lately, I’ve noticed that I do some weird things while I work out a puzzle. Sometimes, I’m concentrating and everything is clicking and there’s just nothing going on in my brain to distract me.

However other times, when I’ve run into a dead end, I start talking to myself. (Not out loud, becuase that would be crazy.) No, I talk to myself in my head. I tell myself that the 2 can’t go in that column, or I’ll make note of where the 9 is in that other cube, or I’ll just mumble stuff as I stare at the puzzle and try not to be too tempted by that “hint” button.

OK.. so while talking to myself in my head may not be crazy, I’ve noticed that.. well… ahem… sometimes it isn’t *my* voice that is talking to me. The first time it happened, it was a deep throaty man’s voice. and not any man’s voice… the voice had a jamaican accent. Maybe it’s just my own way of amusing myself (and it worked. I was amused.) but it *was* fun to hear, “Ya cyan’t put that 2 there, mon. Think, wooman! think!”

Then it wasn’t anything for a while. Just me. My own voice. Until recently, when I’ve been hearing a man’s scottish accent.

So, yeah, the jury’s still out on my mental stability. But when I’m stumped with the sudoku puzzle, it’s always nice to have someone talk to me about the validity of whether that 2 is eliminated or not. Especially in a sexy scottish accent.

- amy

James and I saw it last Friday night.

Loved it.

Wish I hadn’t read any summary/synopsis of the movie.. it ruined it a little bit for me. The summary always stated something about the girl’s imaginary world, but I think it could have been viewed as “real” events, and I would have done so, if I hadn’t read those and been predisposed to thinking “this is all in her head.”

Other complaint.. “EL LABERINTO DEL FAUNO”

Does anyone else see a mention of “Pan” in there? This obviously says, “The Faun’s Labyrinth” .. and there was no mention of Pan anywhere else in the movie that I could see. The faun was never named as Pan. Isn’t Pan a pretty important mythical character? Am I wrong to feel like I was mislead by the “Pan” in the title? THERE WAS NO PAN! DON’T TRY TO FOOL ME WITH THAT TITLE!

Anyway. For some reason I feel kind of righteously indignant about this translated title.

Oh, but the movie was beautiful. It appealed to the fairy tale lover in me. It felt right, and it was not just the icing of a fairy tale that happens in so many versions. It had real horror and life and death situations (which real fairy tales have), which was mirrored in the physical (”real”) world going on around the girl. It did not leave the taste of sacharin in one’s mouth, as so many modern/updated fairy tales do.

Highly recommended. Hope it wins all the awards it was nominated for.

I clicked on 0% for “How well did this answer your question?” and hit submit.

Here was the question.

I got a popup box asking for my email address and my feedback on how this question could be better.

my response:

I bought this drive expecting to get 500 gigs. And I did not get 500 gigs.

angrily,
Amy

because i missed you.

remember when i said that since my husband james was going to take our web stuff off our borg collective in our basement and open up a hosting account somewhere and put it all there, and this was terrific because it meant that our stuff would be up all the time, every time, even when our own home internet goes out, and isn’t the inkernet a magical, magical series of tunnels that al gore invented?

well, that all is dependant on everything being set correctly in the hosting account.

something wasn’t.

and unbeknownst to me, my main email address, the one i’ve used for years and years was bouncing all over the place.

and then, beknownst to me, my blog email address stopped working too.

and then, very very beknownst to me, my website (this thing here) stopped being available through the series of tubes.

and then i banged my head against lots of hard surfaces and cried.

you know, it’s funny how i sit and look at my site each morning, and i think, gee.. not sure what i could possibly write about.. i saw a weird license plate on my way to work. i even broke out my trusty camera phone and tried to take a picture of it. i don’t know why i keep trying to do this because it comes out looking like a big fuzzy blur. i’ve deleted a whole folder of big fuzzy blurry cars all grainy and pixelated. maybe the internet wants to see interesting/weird/indecipherable license plates. at least it would be something to post. CAN you post license plates on the internet? I don’t see why not, since folks see them when you’re driving down the road. Just imagine their driving along the internet. through the series of tubes.

so yeah. not a whole lot of inspiration on what to write.

BUT THEN THE INTERNET STOPS SERVING UP MY WEBSITE AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE ARE A MILLION THINGS THAT I MUST. BLOG. ABOUT. RIGHT. AT. THAT. MOMENT. AND. YET. I. CANT.

oh the harrowingness of it all.

of course, now that it’s back, i can’t think of a damn thing to write again.

except i missed you too. i could take you home and kiss you all over. DON’T EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN! I JUST CAN’T HANDLE IT!

I DON’T LIKE THE SHAKES! SHAKES NOT GOOD!

SINGITY SINGITY SING SING

So I joined a community choir. I went to my first rehearsal and everything this evening. It was great fun. I’m going to help their (I guess i should say ‘our’ now) website to stop being shitty. Yay me!

It was an adventure, to say the least. It is a very small group (maybe 12-15 folks total), and they were missing a handful of members, so it ended up that there were no sopranos. so i said sure, i’d take soprano. so we have me, SIGHTREADING as the lone soprano. the director arrived a bit late, which was good for me, becuase we ran through all the music a few times, so it wasn’t completely new by the time she went through it with us. still. i was just trying to get notes and rhythms right, and maybe, if you’re lucky, words, and the director was aiming for ACTUAL MUSICALITY. you know, like dynamics and different tonality and diction. and then there were those high Fs and Gs (for those of you that don’t know, THOSE ARE REALLY FREAKING HIGH NOTES) that I, alto at heart, and mezzo soprano AT BEST managed to squeak out (by myself! no other voices to blend in with cover it up!) fairly decently, and well, damn. I must say. I am proud of myself
After rehearsal was over, I asked the director if she wanted me to audition* or anything, even though I had just sung with the group the entire rehearsal. She laughed and said no, I was doing fine.

“You are trained..?”

she didn’t really pose this as a question, but she looked at me like she expected an answer, so I kind of stammered something out.

“Um, yeah. Sort of. I mean, I was a voice major. I dropped out.”

“I see. I could tell**. Where did you study?”

“Brigham Young University.”

“Really! Wonderful.”

She said more stuff too, thanking me for giving what she was asking for, which was nice of her, as mostly, I was just trying not to sound too screechy on the high parts, get the music right, and tried to pay attention to her as much as I could while I was at it. I’m definitely going to get my parts down this week so next week I can forget about the music, and pay attention to the music.

Seriously.. it’s been … 10 years? and it feels great to be singing in a group again. I feel GREAT.

*i brought my books and everything, i was SO PREPARED. I had “Amarilli Mio Bella”, from 26 Italian Songs and Arias ready (super fancy and all classical and operatic), On My Own, from Les Miserables, and either Night and Day, Summertime, or Since I Fell For You from my jazz fake book I could do too. so, classical, broadway, jazz.. I was covered. I’m actually kind of disappointed she didn’t need to hear me
** I’m going to take this as, she could tell I studied voice, NOT she could tell I dropped out
PROJECT PHOTO ALBUM

…is still ongoing. I have selected all the photos i want to print, and while I was going to go the costco/snapfish route ($.17/4×6), it costs a lot less to just go the straight snapfish route ($.10/4×6 if you prepay) and when you have FIVE HUNDRED PHOTOS that you decide you want to print (i know. i know. i managed to whittle it down to 450. good lord.) well, that extra 7 cents a photos makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

I am going to check these out too. Very cool.

OK. Enough blogginess for now.

Except to say, did you know it’s national delurking week?

So DELURK I say! I COMMAND THEE! COMMENT HERE, ON THE MOKES DE CRAZY! ALL… 7 OF YOU*!

I’m going to try to make a point of commenting on the many, many, MANY bajillion blogs in my blogroll too, so come on folks, let’s go out there and dirty up the internet with our muddy feet stomping our comments all over the place.

And you can START HERE
-amy sings, “Cheezus was sacrifiiiiiiceduh!”

*ok. i’m being a bit optimistic it’s probably more like…. 4. just comment already!

i’m a sucker for these things.

Here is another swap, one with geography and postcards involved, done by Zhinka Dinka Doo (who’s so incredibly talented in the crafty department that come kid birthday-time, I’m totally stealing all her birthday party ideas)! Click for more information:

and unlike the one i posted earlier, this one isn’t closed yet. It won’t be closed until Friday, so run go sign up! It’s just postcards! Fun and EASY!

-amy

UPDATE: And now I have it properly linked!

i’m crazy busy at work trying to get a publication out by friday. so no real blogging.

instead, i thought i’d just post some randomness throughout the day. it helps me get all the brain gook out, and well, you… um…. ok, no real benefit for you, but here you go anyway, out of the goodness of my heart. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND STUFF. HAVE MY BRAIN GOOK. BECAUSE. I. CARE.

• listening to a ‘Highlights of Aida’ (opera by Verdi, which I sang in the chorus of, many many years ago) at full blast makes for an interesting working environment. especially during the ‘return from battle’ crashy bangy loud parts. And since i can’t understand a word, it makes it easy to just relate it to whatever i’m doing. “Muuuuuuust LINK THOSE FOOTNOTES! Nooooooooooooowww check the ndashes! MUST MUST MUST LINK THOSE FOOTNOTES! doooooon’t forget those ndashes! Cross-reference! Cross-reference! Aaaaaaadd Referrrrrrrrrer! RE! FER! RER!”
• The bathroom in my office building has a little thingee on the wall (I think I’ve mentioned it before) that squirts out air freshener at timed intervals. Every month or so, it runs out and they replace the stuff inside. This month is the month that the bathroom stinks of rank too-strong floraly scent and it makes me want to do my business and get the hell OUT before my nose rebels. Maybe it’s all a plot for less lolly-gagging in the loo. (ahem. I have been known to lolly-gag. like you haven’t played sudoku on YOUR phone while in the bathroom. um. no? just me? ok then. so glad we shared!) I’m eagerly awaiting when this scent runs out and they replace it with something that doesn’t smell like someone drowned you in a big vat filled to the brim with cheap, stanky perfume.

UPDATE:
OK, so I was actually WORKING all day. Go figure. Maybe some photos tomorrow.

-amy