Oct 18 2005

the journey begins… AGAIN.

Published by at 1:34 am under project skinny

Last year when I was pregnant with Jocelyn, I was determined not to have another caesarean section, like what was done with Ethan. He was a breech baby and big, so we simply scheduled a c-section, and voila, at noon the next day, I was holding him. My doctors kept warning me that second babies were usually bigger than the first, and Ethan was over 9 pounds, so that was frightening. Basically, if I had any chance of a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean), I had to not gain very much weight.

So, while it is never prudent to “diet” while pregnant, I did pretty well on the “don’t gain any weight” during Jocelyn’s pregnancy. I beleive it was only 14 lbs total. With Ethan, I gained more like 40 lbs. Many folks say 40 lbs isn’t that much, but when you weigh what I did then, it was!

So I was pretty motivated during the pregnancy (it didn’t work out, however, Jocelyn was born via emergency c-section, more on that later) in order to try to have a relatively normal birth, to not gain any weight. It paid off when I went to my 6 or 8 week post-partum doctor’s checkup, when I was down 25 lbs from my PRE-pregnancy weight. That was a great feeling.

I don’t know if it was because I was nursing and needing more calories, or high on the nursing hormones, but that summer was fantastic for losing weight. I joined Weight Watchers online, counted points, and stayed on track amazingly well. It WAS hard at times, and frustrating. Jocelyn was (and still is) intolerant to dairy, and so I had to cut that completely out of my diet. At times in the grocery store, I would be so intent on searching out the whey, lactose, lactase, casein, and all the other thousands of milk-type substances on the ingredients list, that I would clean forget to look at the ww aspect of the food. But overall, I was motivated, I was MOVING, I was LOSING, and I was really feeling great. Right before labor day, I had lost almost 40 lbs from my dr’s checkup. And no, I’m not ready to post any numbers. Maybe after I’ve left them all far behind I can do it, but not until then!

What threw me off track? Well, unlike a lot of folks that kind of meander off the path, I pretty much made a right angle and started sprinting off of it — but I like to think it wasn’t all my fault. One night, I woke up with an incredible pain in my side. I called the nurse who was useless, got myself an urgent care appt. and took myself in — unfortunately the pain subsided before I even got there. However, a few nights later, it happened again. This time we called a neighbor friend who came over to stay with the kids while I made James drive me in. Again, same deal. It’s kind of funny, because the only time I’d ever felt that kind of pain was when I was in labor (yes THAT IS HOW MUCH IT HURT!) and so my mind automatically went to that same place. I made an appt with my womanly dr., who told me there was nothing wrong with my uterus. Well, that night, it happened again, plus I started vomiting. James called for urgent care, and then on the way there, I hollered at him that I couldn’t make it, and we stopped at the hospital instead.

That’s how I found out I had a faulty gallbladder! Apparently I had gall stones that had gotten themselves messed up with my pancreas, and I wound up with a nasty case of pancreatitis. I spent a week in the hospital not allowed to eat or drink anything while my pancreas got better. When I left, I had instructions to get my gallbladder out. I did, a few months later.

While I was in the hospital, I pumped my breasts, but with no food and water to fuel milk production, and let’s face it, a BABY is the best breast pump mother nature made and anything else is really second best — well, our nursing relationship was doomed. Nursing stopped, and with that, I could eat things with milk in them! I think this, more than anything else, sent me off the WW wagon. It was like a flood gate was open, and I had a hard time resisting all the things I couldn’t have for all those months. I HADN’T HAD CHEESE FOR MONTHS PEOPLE! Then as that subsided, it was the holidays, and, well, I didn’t want to restrict myself, so I didn’t.

So this past year, I’ve made half hearted efforts to get back with it. I’ve rejoined WW online, but couldn’t keep myself on the program very well. Unmotivated, depressed, I was really having mental issues on many levels. When I started my new job, a cloud seemed to kind of lift for me, and I decided it was really time to take action and make ME a priority. So finally, 2 weeks ago, I joined the actual Weight Watchers meetings. Last week on Saturday was my first weigh-in, and I had lost 4 lbs, a great start! This Saturday will be my second weigh-in. I haven’t been journaling my food like I’m supposed to, but I think I’m doing OK. I guess we’ll see.

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