Our house is now on the market (YAAAAAAAAAY!) which means that now at the drop of a hat, we must scurry around cleaning up and then vacate the premises so strangers can tromp through (not a booo, because the more strangers tromping through, the more likely it is someone will want to BUY!)

So we’ve spent a good bit of time in the car, out doing things, away from the house this weekend.

Cute the FIRST:

I was working in my studio, which is (now) in a smaller room off the big room in our basement. The big room has tall Ikea furniture holding many bins which hold toys. I could hear Jocelyn as she hummed and sang away as she pulled toys out – a Barbie head whose hair she could brush, some Strawberry Shortcake dolls and assorted furniture, a variety of very small stuffed animals. She hummed and played and then skipped off upstairs without cleaning up, so when I emerged from the studio and saw the toys on the floor, I called her down, saying, “Jocelyn, come clean up your toys!”

Her voice floated down the stairs to me, “Mom, I didn’t get out any toys.”

No malice, no indignation, just pure matter of fact. I looked again. Just to check. Yup, toys are indeed, on the floor.

“Well, come on down here, there are toys on the floor.”
Humming and skipping down, “OK, but I did not get out any toys!”
Arriving at the bottom of the stairs. Staring at the toys. Reiterating once more, in a calm, steady voice. “I don’t know how these got here. I did not get out any toys.”

I said nothing. I just watched her.

A beat went by.

“…….. but I’ll clean them up mommy.”

Oh yes, indeed, missy, you will!

CUTE/HILARIOUS THE SECOND:

On Saturday, Jocelyn took her hard earned $5 allowance and bought a $5 skantily bikini clad Barbie doll. She proceeded to carry it with her everywhere she went.

Ethan can entertain himself for hours with his DS, with a book, with legos.

Jocelyn entertains herself for hours with anything that she can then animate. She will very softly whisper to her dolls, or stuffed animals and have them interact with her, or others. She can play this way a long time. She’s very self conscious though and often won’t let us hear what is going on in these intricate enactments.

James was driving, and I was sitting beside him, when we heard Jocelyn tell us,

“Oops! I accidently popped Barbie’s head off!” She wasn’t upset, and in a moment reported, “I’ll just pop it back on.”

Then about 5 seconds went by when we heard her whispering to Barbie, “Stop screaming, and let me explain!”

Can you believe that???

“Stop screaming, and let me explain!”

Anthromoporphizing taken to the extreme. In her mind, Barbie was obviously screaming at the loss of her head, and Jocelyn was trying to placate her with explanations on head-popping off-ness.

Tears come to my eyes as I try not to stop laughing at that one.

AWESOME THE THIRD, AND LAST:

We got a call late Sunday night to view the house, so we piled into the car and went to Uno’s for dinner. On the kids menu they had several optical illusions, one of them something like this:

From http://www.coolopticalillusions.com/

When you move toward/away from the image, it will appear as if it is turning. Jocelyn held it on the table and moved her head closer and further away over and over, mimicking a possessed bird with a severe twitch, watching as the illusion caused the wheel to “spin”.

“I want to know how they did that!” she stated to me.

Later, I caught her busily coloring on her menu, but when I tried to show interest, she made her frowny face at me and covered up her work. I feigned disinterest until she forgot about me again, intent on her coloring. I looked and realized what she was trying to draw, and used my super special secret Parent Eyeball Telepathy to indicate to James that he should pay attention to his daughter.

He smiled, unknowing what exactly what she was working on, taking my Telepathy message as just, “Look at your cute coloring daughter,” and not seeing the depth there in. I made more urgent Parent Eyeball motions used STRONGER Telepathy to let him know he need to KEEP WATCHING HER — WAIT FOR IT!

She patiently finished her drawing, and then straightened it out on the table, and suddenly made the same bird-like motion, moving her face closer to the paper and further apart, trying to get her illustration to “move” in the same way the optical illusion had done.

James just about fell apart trying not to be AUDIBLE in his laughter and glee, and even though I knew what she was doing, seeing her actions was too much! We both giggled and laughed, much to Jocelyn’s disgust. She was VERY upset at us being a witness to her experiment and subsequent failure and let us know in no uncertain terms.

I had to try VERY HARD to not reply to her, “Stop screaming! I can explain!”

-amy