I’ve been Jocelyn’s team manager for over a month now and have yet to post any of my crazy emails. I always hit “send” and bite my lip hoping that a) nobody is offended, b) nobody thinks i’m crazy, or even worse c) nobody rolls their eyes, because i am just SO not funny.

Yes, I know, I AM probably SO not funny, but I get a kick out of it, and i’m the (queen! czarina!) team manager, so neener neener!

Enough blather, here you go:
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Look at me – I’m emailing in a relatively early fashion! And I can’t seem to stop using exclamation points! Someone send help!

First, a little teaser on how things are going to go down NEXT weekend, which is PICTURE DAY.

First off, make sure your kid has no jam on their face (this is one of my biggest issue on picture days). (OK, on every day, picture or no picture.)

Next! Our team pictures are being taken at <school>, at X:XXam.

Here is a map for <school>.

As you can see, it’s just down the road from <soccer fields>.

Please try to arrive by X:XXam.

Your child should be all ready for gametime, which means GOLD jerseys, shin guards, socks, and of course, no jam on the face. Hair brushing is optional. (Unless you’re in our house, where you will be screamed at if you take a step toward a child with a hairbrush in hand.)

I have the picture envelopes/order forms which has all the ordering information, and they will be handed out this Saturday. If you lose yours, there will be more available at the school on picture day. It’s nice to fill it out beforehand along with your check, so come picture time, you are free to spit on the corner of your sleeve and wipe jam off of faces.

We will then mill around the field (or gym, if it’s rainy) until it’s our turn, and then all our kids will get their individual picture taken, and then finally, all the kids and the coaches will have a team picture taken.

EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT BUYING PICTURES, PLEASE ATTEND PICTURE DAY. THE REST OF THE TEAM WANTS YOUR CHILD IN THEIR TEAM PICTURES!

After the joy that is “picture day” is over, we will then troop over to to play our game! The bright side is that our soccer events will all be over by noon and we can all spend the rest of the day letting our children get jam on their face while sipping mimosas! (Yes, I know, I live in fantasy land.)

Whew!

OK, that’s NEXT WEEK, so let’s get on with this week, shall we?

Arrive: X:XXpm
Gametime: X:XXpm
Jersey: BLUE
Field: #X
Snack duty: Jane Doe

You know the drill: shin guards, jerseys, water bottles – and jam on the face is totally optional! Wahoo! Go crazy!

I am NOT going to be at this Saturday’s game, but my husband will be there, and will probably be very embarrassed to be handing out photo envelopes on my behalf. Be sure to tell him makes a great soccer mom, and that he’s got a little smudge of jam right *there*. You can even spit on your sleeves and wipe it off!

Have a great game and hopefully we won’t get rained out of our Monday practice again!

-amy, who tries not to worry that her jam obsession may affect her mental health

PS! On a totally unrelated note, I am singing in a concert of big band/jazz music on Sunday at 4pm (and will be in rehearsal Saturday, thus my absence) and if anyone is interested in attending, I’d love to see you there! Tickets are $5/each and kids totally free! More info here: http://www.pwchorale.com/ (I am going to try not to have jam on my face for this one, but I make no promises!)