Isn’t that a lovely phrase?

There’s a brick of snotty gooey green snotty gook in my sinuses. Since sinuses aren’t brick-shaped, I can confess that this is quite painful.

What really sucks is that the brick will NOT loosen up at all. It stays brick-like, in it’s essence, and only leaks a tiny bit of snotty goo all the time. So that you sit on the couch with a tissue box and managed to blow and blow and blow until your nose is totally red and the pile on the table next to you becomes alarming, and you would THINK that with all that blowing, you could have blown 15 million snot bricks out of your nasal cavity, but NO, YOU HAVEN’T, and no matter how much you blow, YOU WILL STILL NOT BE ABLE TO BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE.

You know what I hate? Mouth breathing.

I also hate mouth breathers. If you’re mouth breathing right now, close your mouth, for crying out loud, you look like an idiot.

So Jocelyn woke up at 6am crying and saying her ear hurt, and so since I stayed home sick on Wednesday (day one of this illness), took the snow yesterday as an excellent reason to work at home thursday, I wasn’t too disappointed to stay home with her today. And it’s a good thing, because I decided since I wasn’t at work anyway, I might as well get myself to the doctor as well, which I wouldn’t have done if it weren’t for Jocelyn and her hurting ear.

We are both infected.

Me = sinuses

Jocelyn = ear.

Owies and antibiotics all around.

Send soup. (without leeks, because james has turned his nose up at my leek potato soup, the snobby man – IT’S FROM ALTON BROWN, SHEESH)(screw him, this soup is for ME)

Send vick’s vapo rub. The vat I have is almost gone.*

Send your sure-fire overnight cure for red, raw noses, because mine aren’t working (lanolin, vick’s, aquaphor).

I’ll take cure’s for cold sores too, because the corner in my mouth is starting to get that tingly cold sore feeling. I know. SEXY. Between the red nose and the mouth breathing and the developing coldsore, I am just beating them off with a stick.

And send the plus doux KLEENEX, because I beleive we’re out of the PLUS DOUX and only have the IT FEELS LIKE SANDPAPER ON YOUR RED, RAW FACE variety.

– amy just wants her nose back.

* I’m just kidding. I have never bought a jar of vick’s vapo rub. I believe my grandmother left hers to my mother, and my mother gave it to me when I left home to make my fortune in the world, and someday I will have to choose the between my offspring who to leave it to because VICK’S VAPORUB NEVER RUNS OUT. IT JUST GETS LOST.

** this post is in the category “amy’s head” and when I clicked it, I laughed a sardonic laugh and said “AMY’S HEAD. LITERALLY. I’M WRITING ABOUT MY HEAD.”

*** There’s no double star in this post, or triple star. it’s just my way of doing a post script and post post script. just thought i’d let you know.

**** *waaaaaaahhhhh i hurt*