Apr 18 2008
THE BRITISH ARE COMING THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!
OK, the british aren’t coming, but MY PARENTS ARE COMING AND THAT’S EVEN WORSE, PEOPLE!
OK, it’s not really worse, because obviously it’s a nice thing when your parents come to visit, but it’s not nice the kind of things that go on in my head when there is an imminent parental invasion on the horizon.
What kind of things happen in my head? Oh the lists I make, it’s startling. Here’s a taste of what MUST BE DONE before my parents make contact with Virginia air space:
fix bannister*
install thermostat
hang amy ruppel print
frame amy ruppel print
put away christmas decorations that are hanging out in the guest room
get rid of half the the toys in the house so that it’s possible to
put all the toys in their proper bins in their proper place
go through the pile of kid clothes on their upper shelf and get rid of the outgrown stuff
put all kids’ clothes the winter clothes on upper shelf of kids’ closet
have the carpets cleaned
have the house cleaned
buy new clothes
buy new bras
get a hair cut
get hair dyed
get a pedicure
cut the kids’ fingernails
get eyebrows waxed
clear off all the crap on all the flat surfaces throughout the house
have a garage sale
buy all new furniture
get decorator to make house actually look good
oh, and hide all the porn, booze, blow and dead hookers, and and last but not least,
put scriptures on coffee table.
OK, so yes, I’m totally kidding on some of these, of course we don’t have to hide dead hookers and blow, first of all, we already BURIED the dead hookers, and of course we’ll use up all the blow before they get here. And my parents would DEFINITELY know something is up if there were scriptures on the table!
The porn though, definitely need to hide that.
* (oh, by the way, our bannister bracket thingee broke and the whole thing has been lying on the stairs for over a week now. We are SO FANCIFIED.)
Seriously though, there are a lot of things that need to get done before May 11th, which is the day they arrive, and even though we are T-minus 3 weeks, I’m starting to go into panic mode.
How about you? Do you panic when the parrental units come to town? Or just come over? Or just call you? Or when you feel that perhaps they’ve turned your head in your direction from across the nation?
Oh is that just me?
Spill people! All two of you!
6 Responses to “THE BRITISH ARE COMING THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!”
I completely understand your panic. Maybe it would be different if we saw them every weekend or something, but when it is once every few months (or once or twice a year) everything must be perfect.
anna’s last blog post..Which one of these is not like the other?
I turn into a bawling wreck before my parents are coming! Funny I dont do the same thing when we go to visit them.
If you would like some help around the house, any of these days, I am happy to lend a hand!
Tamara’s last blog post..I love the whole world!!
My folks are local, and my wonderful but slightly crack mother is pretty sure any sign of disorder in my house is a sign that I’m dying or getting divorced and has instilled some serious in my crazy with that nonsense. So my panicked moments are far more frequent. And we’re mid-remodel, which apparently doesn’t erase the need for clean.
Scott’s family comes to visit once a year or so and entirely refuse to ever notice anything amiss or less than perfect, and yet my crazy still applies to their visits.
I need to go breathe into a paper bag now. Eesh.
lanea’s last blog post..Branching Out, in more ways than one
I always kind of freak out when the parental units are coming to visit. My MIL just shakes her head at me … her house is worse than mine ever could be. But I just want it to look like the house of a responsible adult. So, you know, maybe they will treat me that way! LOL LOL
Tracy’s last blog post..Rambling
If there were some necessary repairs, I would definately tend to that
When the parents are coming is a good time to finally do some decorating that I’ve been putting off, hanging pictures, etc…
The toys get shoved into closets
I seperate too small clothes as I do laundry, so their already in their own place
I vacuum
Make sure the dishes are done
Clean the toilets
Fold the laundry
I think that’s about it… and of course all of that is for my benefit alone, my parents don’t mind if none of that’s done. My mom has come over for a birthday party, and started cleaning my microwave. Not because she couldn’t stand the filth, but because it was something to do. I cannot impress my MIL, so I don’t bother. She says she loves us anyway.
My parents don’t come to visit. But I cannot think of the last time I made the slightest effort to even pretend to care about any disorder for the sake of either of them. Will it be different if and when I provide them grandkids?
Linda’s last blog post..I like a TV show!