MY BOY, PSYCHO KILLER (QUEST-QUE C’EST, FUH-FUH-FUH FUH FUH-FUH-FUH FUH FUH FAR BETTER*)

Ethan has been learning his alphabet in pre-school this year. He learned it in pre-school previous years, but this year, the year before kindergarten, they are learning how to print as well and he is really getting into it.

He often comes home and wants to write his name, my name, Jocelyn’s name, daddy’s name, and other assorted words that he likes. Sometimes after he writes the word, he’ll take his scissors and carefully cut the word out and put it on the fridge (our home art gallery).

One day, he came home and said, “How do you write blood?”

“Blood? Why do you want to write blood?”

“Because my friend Palmer got hurt in school. He was bleeding. So I want to write blood, and then give it to him.”

“Ok.”

I spelled it out for him, and true to form, he cut it out with his pair of scissors.

I was a bit worried about my son taking a small piece of paper with “BLOOD” printed on it to school and handing it to one of the kids. It is a bit psycho killerish, wouldn’t you say?

Luckily for me, he put it on the fridge and had forgotten his plans for it by the next day. I don’t need to fear parent-teacher conferences on just why my son handed a small piece of paper with the word ‘BLOOD’ on it to his classmate.

* Run run run run run run awaaaaaaaaay
I feel better now. Don’t you? It’s like leaving ‘shave and a hair cut’ without the ‘TWO BITS!’ on the end. You just can’t do it. Oh David Byrne, you can burn my house down anytime.

JOCELYN THE SMARTIE PATARTY

Monday, on the way home:

me: “So what letter did you start this week?”
e: “I!”
me: “Really! ‘I’! What sound does the letter ‘I’ make?”
Jocelyn: “eeh! eeh! eeh!” (it’s very hard to ‘spell’ the sound ‘i’ makes. pretend i spelt it right)
me: “THAT’S RIGHT JOCELYN!!”

ETHAN IS ALSO VERY SMART

me: So what words start with ‘i’?
e: ice!
me: hmmmm…. igloo. if. is.
e: THAT’S WHAT I SAID! IN MY CLASS! IS!
me: totally rad!

James later told me that his teacher was VERY impressed that he thought of ‘is’ as an ‘i’ word.

ETHAN AND JOCELYN ARE BOTH CUTE

Last night was my office’ holiday party. Yes. On a Thursday. And there was not a fully open bar (wine, beer and soft drinks only). On a Thursday. And it involved speeches that were overly long and invoked everything from our grandchildren working at our company to how someday we’ll be able to see a building with our company’s name on it from 66, or the toll road, or near DC. The glaring fact that our building ALREADY had our OLD company’s logo/name on it didn’t seem to phase him. The orator kept going on about how our efforts will make or break our parent company, and our work is what will sink or swim this company. It just made me want to holler, “MUTINY! WHO’S WITH ME? TOGETHER, WE CAN BRING THIS PLACE DOWN!” while swinging a sword and carving the place up.

The whole overly long speech situation gave me the giggles and everyone kept nudging each other to whisper smart ass comments to each other in a way that somehow made me feel like I was in church, and my mother was goign to smack me upside the head at any moment unless I started to behave and pay attention already. They really needed to offer us hard liquor to get through that speech.

So, along with the being on thursday, no fake gambling, no hard liquor, feeling like I was sitting in church for a good 20 minutes, sadly there was no dancing boob girl.Oh wait, this was supposed to be about Ethan and Jocelyn wasn’t it? Sorry I had to lament the fact taht there was no vodka, and no dancing boob girl. Wah. Still though, the folks I work with are a lot of fun, and we had a good time just talking and laughing. The food was good too.

ANYWAY. KIDS. CUTENESS. CARRY ON.

BEFORE the party, I had to get the kids, get the sitter, get the cat, get us all home, get ready to go, and then go. After I picked up the sitter, Ethan said to her, “I haven’t drawed you any pictures yet. But I will make you one when we get home.”

(AWWWWWWWWWW!)

At one point I said, narrating our events, “Now we will go get Sitter!”
Jocelyn: “At our house?”
me: “No, we will pick her up at her house, and take her to our house.”
jocelyn: “We will get SITTER at HER house! And then we will get LINDA! And they will come to OUR house! And WE will PLAY!”

Linda has been over to our house a few times now, and every now and then, Jocelyn will declare that she is coming over, totally out of the blue. This was one of those times. It was cute.

THE CROSSDRESSER

Jocelyn and Ethan’s classrooms each have a corner of dress-up clothes with a variety of different things. One time last year I arrived at his classroom to pick him up and he was wearing a dress-up dress, complete with heels, prancing around the room happy as a clam. The really cute part was at least 2 other boys were complaining that it was THEIR TURN ALREADY, and when Ethan saw me, he grinned like his face was going to split open, and hollered, “LOOK MOM! I’M A GIRL!”

So I knew what he meant, when on the way home one day, Ethan declared proudly:

“I was a GIRL today!”

me: “Awesome!”

-amy is researching for santa. wide angle lens? long zoom lens? fixed length? flash? oh, santa, your job is HARD.