I clicked on 0% for “How well did this answer your question?” and hit submit.

Here was the question.

I got a popup box asking for my email address and my feedback on how this question could be better.

my response:

I bought this drive expecting to get 500 gigs. And I did not get 500 gigs.

angrily,
Amy

because i missed you.

remember when i said that since my husband james was going to take our web stuff off our borg collective in our basement and open up a hosting account somewhere and put it all there, and this was terrific because it meant that our stuff would be up all the time, every time, even when our own home internet goes out, and isn’t the inkernet a magical, magical series of tunnels that al gore invented?

well, that all is dependant on everything being set correctly in the hosting account.

something wasn’t.

and unbeknownst to me, my main email address, the one i’ve used for years and years was bouncing all over the place.

and then, beknownst to me, my blog email address stopped working too.

and then, very very beknownst to me, my website (this thing here) stopped being available through the series of tubes.

and then i banged my head against lots of hard surfaces and cried.

you know, it’s funny how i sit and look at my site each morning, and i think, gee.. not sure what i could possibly write about.. i saw a weird license plate on my way to work. i even broke out my trusty camera phone and tried to take a picture of it. i don’t know why i keep trying to do this because it comes out looking like a big fuzzy blur. i’ve deleted a whole folder of big fuzzy blurry cars all grainy and pixelated. maybe the internet wants to see interesting/weird/indecipherable license plates. at least it would be something to post. CAN you post license plates on the internet? I don’t see why not, since folks see them when you’re driving down the road. Just imagine their driving along the internet. through the series of tubes.

so yeah. not a whole lot of inspiration on what to write.

BUT THEN THE INTERNET STOPS SERVING UP MY WEBSITE AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE ARE A MILLION THINGS THAT I MUST. BLOG. ABOUT. RIGHT. AT. THAT. MOMENT. AND. YET. I. CANT.

oh the harrowingness of it all.

of course, now that it’s back, i can’t think of a damn thing to write again.

except i missed you too. i could take you home and kiss you all over. DON’T EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN! I JUST CAN’T HANDLE IT!

I DON’T LIKE THE SHAKES! SHAKES NOT GOOD!

SINGITY SINGITY SING SING

So I joined a community choir. I went to my first rehearsal and everything this evening. It was great fun. I’m going to help their (I guess i should say ‘our’ now) website to stop being shitty. Yay me!

It was an adventure, to say the least. It is a very small group (maybe 12-15 folks total), and they were missing a handful of members, so it ended up that there were no sopranos. so i said sure, i’d take soprano. so we have me, SIGHTREADING as the lone soprano. the director arrived a bit late, which was good for me, becuase we ran through all the music a few times, so it wasn’t completely new by the time she went through it with us. still. i was just trying to get notes and rhythms right, and maybe, if you’re lucky, words, and the director was aiming for ACTUAL MUSICALITY. you know, like dynamics and different tonality and diction. and then there were those high Fs and Gs (for those of you that don’t know, THOSE ARE REALLY FREAKING HIGH NOTES) that I, alto at heart, and mezzo soprano AT BEST managed to squeak out (by myself! no other voices to blend in with cover it up!) fairly decently, and well, damn. I must say. I am proud of myself 🙂

After rehearsal was over, I asked the director if she wanted me to audition* or anything, even though I had just sung with the group the entire rehearsal. She laughed and said no, I was doing fine.

“You are trained..?”

she didn’t really pose this as a question, but she looked at me like she expected an answer, so I kind of stammered something out.

“Um, yeah. Sort of. I mean, I was a voice major. I dropped out.”

“I see. I could tell**. Where did you study?”

“Brigham Young University.”

“Really! Wonderful.”

She said more stuff too, thanking me for giving what she was asking for, which was nice of her, as mostly, I was just trying not to sound too screechy on the high parts, get the music right, and tried to pay attention to her as much as I could while I was at it. I’m definitely going to get my parts down this week so next week I can forget about the music, and pay attention to the music.

Seriously.. it’s been … 10 years? and it feels great to be singing in a group again. I feel GREAT.

*i brought my books and everything, i was SO PREPARED. I had “Amarilli Mio Bella”, from 26 Italian Songs and Arias ready (super fancy and all classical and operatic), On My Own, from Les Miserables, and either Night and Day, Summertime, or Since I Fell For You from my jazz fake book I could do too. so, classical, broadway, jazz.. I was covered. I’m actually kind of disappointed she didn’t need to hear me 🙂

** I’m going to take this as, she could tell I studied voice, NOT she could tell I dropped out 🙂

PROJECT PHOTO ALBUM

…is still ongoing. I have selected all the photos i want to print, and while I was going to go the costco/snapfish route ($.17/4×6), it costs a lot less to just go the straight snapfish route ($.10/4×6 if you prepay) and when you have FIVE HUNDRED PHOTOS that you decide you want to print (i know. i know. i managed to whittle it down to 450. good lord.) well, that extra 7 cents a photos makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

I am going to check these out too. Very cool.

OK. Enough blogginess for now.

Except to say, did you know it’s national delurking week?

So DELURK I say! I COMMAND THEE! COMMENT HERE, ON THE MOKES DE CRAZY! ALL… 7 OF YOU*!

I’m going to try to make a point of commenting on the many, many, MANY bajillion blogs in my blogroll too, so come on folks, let’s go out there and dirty up the internet with our muddy feet stomping our comments all over the place.

And you can START HERE 🙂

-amy sings, “Cheezus was sacrifiiiiiiceduh!”

*ok. i’m being a bit optimistic 🙂 it’s probably more like…. 4. just comment already!

hi there 2007! buh-bye 2006.

i look back on the old year as a good one. personally, i took a lot of really good healthy steps.

i definitely have some demons that i battle from time to time. it’s hard to even explain what gets me down. when i’m in an ok place, i don’t mind james disapearing downstairs to play World of Warcraft. Not even a whit. However, when I’m not, I want to throw his computer and that game into a big long pit with big firey spikes sticking up all menacing at the bottom. I want to gouge out his eyes with shrimp forks for leaving my side, but then when he does stay with me, i glower and pout and make life miserable.

When I’m in a funk, it is because I don’t like who I am, or how I am perceived (or rather, how I imagine others are perceiving me) or that these titles that are tagged on to me don’t feel at all like who i am.. (mother.. wife.. woman, working mom, responsible adult..). The things that I love and hold most dear are the very things that turn into shackles that bite into my skin as I rail against them. Somehow these things are the things, the “reasons” that I am unhappy. Somehow in my head things like having children living in surburbia equates to me being a boring surbuban house frau, or it equates to me being weird and strange and different from my neighborhood friends who seem to have it together, more together than I, which in turn makes me feel like a cat wearing a dog costume in a world with no cats.

I realize I’m rambling. I realize I’m making no sense. And it really makes no sense when I get all in a funk, and try to explain to my husband who just wants to do something, ANYTHING, to help me feel better. And I just can’t put it into words, that feeling of inadequacy, the sinking pit of dhoom that won’t give me up.

I’m rambling because I just have such a hard time expressing the dark places my brain sometimes puts me in, especially when I haven’t been there for a while, which I’m glad to say, I haven’t.

Why haven’t I? This is what I’m reflecting on. I think it’s because of something that I always knew I was supposed to do. Everyone knows that you have to take time for yourself. We’ve all read it and been preached at about it, but do you actually DO it? New parents especially are always told that you have to take some time for yourself, PLAN OUT time to spend together as a couple, blah blah blah. New moms, be sure to treat yourself to a nice luxorious bubble bath, take care of yourself, blah blah blah. I think the big steps I’ve taken in the latter half of this year have been taking care of myself. My inner self.

I love reading crafty blogs and seeing the creative awesomeness that comes out of these bloggers heads. I’ve recently disregarded any self deprecation and have started doing it myself to the extent that I have even decided to cater to this hobby a bit and set up my own table where my sewing machine and supplies live. I didn’t worry about the cost (which was dumb, because ikea is cheap) and the weirdness of making my front room into a craft room (it didn’t have anything in there anyway, so hello! good use of space!) and just went with it so that I could have some space to work when the mood struck and not have to be constantly moving my shit on and off the kitchen table. It feels good to “own” this. I may still be a sucky beginner, but I LIKE to sew and make things. I think I never really liked the thought of what this hobby would do to other people’s perceptions of me. Which is pretty stupid, because I LOVE and ADMIRE the crafty people I come across. It was just some part of me denying that I could/should do it.

I wanted to become a better photographer and kind of strong-armed james into getting a new camera. I have tried to carry it with me as much as possible and taken a photo safari class specific to my camera and while I wouldn’t say i’m fantastic, I am happy exploring this side of my artistic self as well.

This one is kind of dumb, but I’ve given up any weird notions I had about my hair and am back to using it as an ever-changing palette that I can alter as I want and use to show the world that I may be a suburban mom, but I’m not afraid to mix things up a bit (more on my further attempts at blonde-ness later). I’m no longer wondering or caring what others will think. It’s hair for heaven’s sake. it grows back.

I really didn’t care and just up and WENT to an indigo girls concert by myself.

I’ve had so much fun planting and growing things in my garden, despite my lack of knowledge or experience.

It’s like I’ve been lost. It’s like I had forgotten things that I loved, or the old things I loved didn’t have any appeal for me and nothing had taken it’s place and it left me all empty and hollow inside. I had some online addictions for many many years (ahem. met james online, so it was good for something, thanks) but after i left them behind, i never replaced them with anything else.

Honestly, now that you’ve read this, it makes me sound like the pre-Amy was a martyr mom who catered to everyone else’s whims and wants, and this just IS NOT true. Anyone who knows me can say that I am a fairly outspoken gal who does what she wants and has no qualms with taking time for herself. What I am trying to point out is that I didn’t really know want I wanted, I didn’t really feel as if I had a real purpose, just FOR ME. I was always looking at the things other people loved to do and thought, “how cool for them,” but really had nothing for myself. I think I really did lose a part of myself in becoming a mom, just being home with other small people who need your constant care and supervision can do that to a person, and in the last 4-6 months, I think I’ve found myself again.

And so for 2007, I resolve to carry on. Now that I’ve found her (ahem. I found myself, that’s who the “her” is, stay with me!), I’m not letting her go. More creativity in 2007, and hopefully in more ways that I wish I had the time and nerve to do, like:

finding a choir or chorale to sing with/in (a vocal jazz ensemble would be soooooooooo awesome)
jazz piano lessons (this might fall under “too much effort required” as i’d have to practice and shit)
sewing classes
knitting classes and groups
more crocheting
painting would be fun. i used to paint quite a bit
learning more about my camera/photography
more crafty stuff with my kids
more READING READING READING
maybe finally do the Artists’ Way for real (shut up linda! I KNOW I KNOW!)

I used to read all the time. I used to carry a book with me everywhere and read while I was walking. when I was little, i would read from my bed by the light of the hall (hello ruined eyesight) until my mom turned it off, and then i’d read by a flashlight under the covers. i definitely need to get reading back into my life. how in the crap it ever left my life (oh yeah, babies. that’s not true though. i got a lot of reading done during nursing time) i’m not sure, but it’s time to bring it back.

so there you go. i’ve been mulling all of this over for the past month or so, and it’s good to get it out there. What about you? Any new years resolutions? What do you do that is just for YOU?

happy new year to you, and may you take good care of your inner self 🙂

-amy

1) scrub the blackened bottom of cookie sheets.

me: james, commere. my hands are all wet. bring the camera.
james: (takes it all in with a glance)
me: this is the before.
james: i think the after is going to be a failure.

me: yeah, probably. no way this is getting unblackened.

…

me: IT’S A CHRISTMAS AN SOS PAD MIRACLE!

-amy does wear dishwashing gloves.? ya wanna make somethin of it, punk?

Trying out my colored contacts (sapphire).

they’ve been sitting in my medicine cabinet for a year now.

i wonder why i always end up making this face if a camera points at me long enough. I think it’s a severe Calvin and Hobbes influence.

they still don’t work right on my eyeballs. i think they don’t fit properly. every time i blink, they move around and then settle. very batty. anyway, i took them off, dropped them in the trash.

i like my own green eyes better anyhow 🙂

I just need some NEW CONTACTS so they don’t fall out from yuckiness!

-amy thinks this is going to be a lazy, photo-posting blog week

OK, just a few quick things.

First of all. LOOKEE LOOK LOOK! I DID find a tweezer!

Actually, I didn’t, but a nice lady named Marcia did some business with some wax, and now I look PHABULOUS! OK. Maybe me not so much, but MY EYEBROWS. THEY LOOK PHABULOUS!

Take a look at the before.

See? MUCH BETTER. OK. Enough about my eyebrows.
Second of all: Would all you people who decide to go christmas shopping first thing and therefore are crowding my commute with more cars that one would believe possible PLEASE JUST WAIT AN HOUR AND THEN GO?

You have my thanks.

Third: POKER.

I have been informed at at this evening’s holiday party held by my husband’s company… there will be poker. Fake money, but poker none the less. It makes me wish we hadn’t gone with the school’s “Parent’s night out! But pick their asses up by 11.” and gone with the babysitter who’s mother doesn’t mind if we bring her home around 1am. We will probably have to leave all the open bar and fake gambling around 10:15 in order to get the kids in time.

Still. POKER! It’s been so long I’m salivating. We need to have a poker night. Are you in? Not YOU, weird person who lives in another state, YOU, person who lives near me and actually has seen me in person before. I may even allow folks who haven’t seen me before. I still love you though, weird person. Really. Oh, go ahead and fly in, weird person, IT’S GONNA BE A POKER NIGHT!

Obviously, I need to get out more.

-amy checks her dosage.

my brain has been swirling with thoughts that i keep thinking, “I should put that on my blog!”

So this might be a little scattered.

LET’S JUST GET THE POOP OUT OF THE WAY RIGHT OFF THE BAT

We have had many a day when we are lying in bed all groggy and half a wake Saturday morning and we hear Jocelyn’s little holler, “Moooooommmmy!!! I’m pooooooooopy! I took off my diiiiiiaaaaaaaaper!”

Nothing will get you out of bed like that sort of wake up call. We are still haunted, HAUNTED I SAY, by Ethan’s Excrement Extravaganza (we just refer to it as E cubed) when we walked into Ethan’s room and were accosted by the sight and smell of a poop-smeared room. Walls, carpet, bedding, even INSIDE THE DRESSER DRAWERS, people. It was awful beyond the imagination.

So while in the back of our mind, we know that REALLY, the worst is behind us, still those poopy words shore will spring you into action!

It wasn’t that bad. (I score “stripping the bed and tossing everything in the wash” as “not that bad.” you have to look at things comparatively, people.)

TUUUUUURKEY

We have had a succession of kind of laid back thanksgivings. Just us. Just our little family. Usually, I make way too much food and no one under age 30 eats anything except pie and bread, which can be exceedingly frustrating for the chef.

James handled the turkey this year, and while we had a little moment of fearing it was overdone, it was perfect, as usual. (Brining is the way to go, people. Let’s BRINE THE CHILDREN.)? I only made some dressing, and the thanksgiving must, Company Carrots.* Last year, I don’t remember what I made, but it was a hairy sort of day and I remember being sort of cross and tired all day. This year = much more laid back. Also, I’m over the dressing I usually make. It was just OK, and I didn’t even save any for leftovers. Next year it’ll be something new. Dessert didn’t consist of pie. It consisted of chocolate mousse torte cake. And it was gooooooood.

I had to work Friday, which wasn’t so bad. It was nice to sail down the highway to work with no traffic whatsoever. It was shocking to look at the mall and see the parking lot FULL at 8am. I stopped at McDonalds that was near the Microcenter, and it was stuffed full of people. I went to work and it was blissfully quiet and I got a ton of work done. I took a break and did some crappy blurry camera phone pictures of myself with my new haircut/dye job, so I’ll have to post those sometime.

HAIRCUT? DYE JOB? WHAT’S THIS?

So I decided to go blonde for the winter. I walked into the salon Wednesday night, sat down, and said, “I’d like to go blonde. I realize this is hard with red hair, but I really don’t want to walk out of here as a strawberry blonde.”

I walked out with strawberry blonde hair, and a haircut that I have to describe as Melissa would say, made me look like a mushroom.

I was quite happy with the color, actually, but the haircut I got fixed on Friday. It’s all a bit shorter than I would like, but really, I’m easy. It’s hair. It grows back. You don’t like it? Give it time, and try again. It may be a bit more strawberry than I’d like, but I can fix that in January.

I had a bit of a dilemma in the spring when I dyed it red. See, I have been dying my hair red since high school. Then through sheer force of will, I managed to NOT dye it for a while. Long enough that it grew out my natural color and there was no more red. So going back to red was a bit of a struggle in the amy brain, but as soon as I got back to the, “what the hell are you freaking out about, IT’S HAIR IT GROWS BACK JUST DO IT ALREADY” then i was fine. and i gotta say, i love the red hair, i just thought blonde would be fun for a while.

OH MY GOD LIKE WE REALLY DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT YOUR HAIR

Ok, then I’ll talk about Jocelyn’s! I sat down with her today and french braided her hair. Of course, I had to put Dora on in order for her to hold still long enough, but it was so much fun. Like having my own little barbie doll to play hair with. It was really too short to stay in, and so we took it out after 5 minutes before it just fell out, but it was such fun. She is such a sweetheart. She is doing and saying so many intolerably cute things every day. She just kills me with all the cute.

LET’S GET TO THE CHRISTMAS STUFF ALREADY

So Ethan has been anxiously counting down to the christmas holiday since before halloween. It seems like as SOON as Thanksgiving was over, he was like, “Next is Christmas, RIGHT???” We told him yes, and Saturday found us digging out our Christmas decorations, and going tree shopping. Yes, the tree has been purchased and it is up and decorated. Christmas stockings are hung. And taken down, and carried around and rehung, and pointed out, and described, and taken down and put on little feet, and then rehung again.

Now we just need to get all these boxes outta here. and the gourds. Sorry gourds, you are no longer seasonably appropriate. You must go. Plus, you were starting to get a little wrinkly, so into the compost bin you go. If you’ll fit.

I HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW

I actually had to work a bit this weekend too, but working from the comfort of your couch while watching Gilmore Girls off your Tivo and Season 1 Battlestar Galactica (we’re done now, and WOW, what a finale. Gotta get Season 2 SOON!) and getting up early and actually putting on CLOTHES and driving into the office… that will suck.

BUT AT LEAST THINGS WILL BE CLEAN WHEN I COME HOME

because we managed to get a lot of stuff cleaned up around here this weekend. half of our garage had been littered with bikes, wagons, … and other junk that i can’t picture now that it’s all cleaned up, which means MY CAR IS ACTUALLY HOUSED IN THE GARAGE! YAY ME! this is especially good because Friday has raine with a chance of SNOW SNOW SNOW! so it’ll be nice to park in the garage and not have to worry about frost/snow on the car.

We also cycled through quite a bit of laundry. I knew you wanted to know ALL about it.

I NEED TO BRAIN-VOMIT MORE OFTEN

Because if i get it all out more regularly, then I don’t make these ridiculously long posts with lots of nonsense in them. I’ll try to do better.

ONE LAST THING

Last week, I tried to get the sitter for the weekend (not this last weekend, but the week before) and the sitter left a message at the speed of light and I just took it to mean that she could not make it. So I called and told her I didn’t quite understand her message, but I was going to assume she was busy.

BUT SHE WASN’T! SHE WASN’T! SHE WAS AVAILABLE! And let me tell you, when you THINK you can’t go out, and then you CAN, it’s almost better than chocolate and peanut butter after lots of sex (almost).

We decided to hurry and try to finish up the christmas shopping before a movie. Then we were starving so we stopped at California Tortilla, got stuff to go, and snuck it into the new Bond movie (it was good, despite the blonde Bond. You wouldn’t think I would be prejudiced, having decided to go blonde myself, but sadly, I am, and it’s a hard one to get over, but it was still good). I still want to go see Stranger than Fiction. Afterward we went to Sweetwater Tavern and shared a flourless chocolate waffle while just wallowing in our kidlessness for just a FEW MINUTES LONGER.. Ahh. heaven.

OK THIS IS THE LAST THING

This friday: James’ company holiday party.

Next THURSDAY (can we say “cheap?”): my company holiday party.

All I can say is, better have open bar.

A new suit was purchased for James today, and I purchased some new duds last Friday (yes, I braved the crowds on my way home, and it wasn’t too bad). Note for next year: take some dance classes before the holiday parties, so we have something to do and won’t get bored and just wnat to go home and watch tv.

I hope they’ll be fun.

THE END.

– amy knows december isn’t til next week, but she put up the new banner anyway.

* When me and my siblings were little, company carrots was our very favorite dish at thanksgiving. My mom would tell us she would make however many carrots we would peel, and we would peel 2-3 5lb bags at least. I’m 32 now, and it’s still my favorite. Very simple, too. Yum.

Jocelyn has been really whiny lately. She instinctively says “NO!” to everything that is queried of her and she generally assumes the loudest and whiniest tone ever.

It must be very frustrating to have every decision made for you. You will eat now. You will get up now. You will get dressed now, and you will not watch TV with popcorn now. You may not use my new fabric to drag around the house and then pretend to sleep under, and you will go upstairs, take a bath, and go to bed now, because my nerves just can’t TAKE IT ANYMORE AHHHHHH!

Ahem.

No wonder she meets every approach with “NOOOOOO!!” It doesn’t help that when I’m trying to cope with an instance of Whiney Tantrumy Jocelyn, Ethan will choose that moment to come over and start talking to me.
Let me share with you the things we’ve (me, her father, and her teacher(s)) tried through this increasingly difficult stage.

1. Counting.

jocelyn: NOOOOOO!*
me: That’s 1.
jocelyn: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
me: That’s 2.
jocelyn: NO NO NO NO NO NO!
me: That’s three, time-out.

* Just assume that everytime you see a “NOOOOOO!” on this post, that the volume level is set on “migraine-inducing” or “nasal-whiney”.

Counting is better for activity that she needs to stop, rather than counting instances of bad behaviour. Like if she keeps running around her room naked instead of coming over to get her jammies on, I’ll start to count to three slowly, and before I get there, she’ll stop, run over, while saying, “I AM I AM I AM!” (as in, “I am coming! I am coming! I am coming!”) It also gives them time to stop, rather than just saying, “Come over here now.” If you give them til the count of three, it gives them time to adjust to the fact that they have to stop what they’re doing, and come over.

So counting. Kind of helpful, in some kinds of situations. Since you can’t back down once you’ve started (this falls under the very first parenting rule ever, which is: “When In A Battle Of Discpline, Never Lose Or Give In Or Then You Will Be Their Bitch Or At Least You Will Really Regret It When They Constantly Retest The Boundaries You Tried So Hard To Set”) always follow through, even if you realize that it wasn’t the best situation to use it in.

2. Giving her a choice:

me: It’s time to brush teeth!
jocelyn: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
me: Do you want pink toothpaste, or clear?
jocelyn: PINK!!!

And then the fight is over! When it works, it’s Magical! If only it worked EVERY TIME! IF ONLY!
3. Pointing out the different “voices”:

This one worked well, to a point. First, I had to make sure she knew what I meant.

jocelyn: NO NO NO!
me, first, getting her attention by removing her from whatever the situation is, and getting her to look right at me: Let’s learn about the different kinds of voices, Jocelyn.
me, talking normally: listen to this voice. This is a noooormal voice!
me, super over-the-top whiney: and this is a WHINEY voice!
me, normal: And this is a normal voice! Can you use a normal voice?
Jocelyn, in a normal voice: Yes! I can! I can use a normal voice!
me: GOOD JOB!

It really is amazing when this tactic works. She will be in the throes of a full whiney temper, and I’ll ask her to use a normal voice, and she sometimes will snap right out of it. Sometimes though, not so much.

4. Brainwashing. Or, telling her what to say:

This all started out innocently enough. Jocelyn has always had pretty impressive verbal skills. Ethan didn’t even say “mommy” until he was TWO YEARS OLD (I am not exagerating. mama, yes. mommy, no) and Jocelyn was stringing a few words together not long after 12 months. That constant stream of conversation Ethan keeps up evidently seeped into her brain pretty early.

So, all that, to say, it’s hard to remember that she is still learning a lot of vocabulary, and perhaps is just instinctively saying ‘no’ because that is the easiest thing to say right now. She gets to make so little decisions about her life and her body, that it’s easier to blurt out, “NO!” than to think it over, analyze what she actually wants, and then construct a sentence to convey those wants or opinions. So at these times, I would just tell her to say, “No thank you.”
me: Jocelyn, here’s your drink.
jocelyn: NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
me: Just say, “no thank you!”
jocelyn, all perky: No thank you!
then she eyes the drink, and says: I do! I WANT it!!
me: Say, ‘I would like the drink please!’
jocelyn: I would like the drink please!
me: Here you go!

I started to skip over the middle part of that conversation, and just tell her SAY, what I thought she wanted. Then I just started to tell her to say what *I* wanted… and she would say it!
me: Stop running around naked, and come over here and get your jammies on, sweetie.
jocelyn: NOOOOOOOO! *run run run*
me: say, ‘Ok mommy, I’ll come get my jammies on!’
j: OK mommy! I’ll come get my jammies on!”

AND SHE WOULD!! It’s BRAINWASHING MAGIC! I hope it lasts forever. It will be very handy when she’s 16.

me: I want you to be home by 11:30.
j: NOOOOOOOO!
me: say, ‘I will be home by 11, I won’t TP anyone’s house, and I won’t drink or smoke and I love you forever!”
j: Oh, mom, that hasn’t worked since I was TWO! BYE!

sigh. jeez. My brain won’t even let me fantasize about the possibilities. MY BABY GIRL! DON’T EVER BE 16!
5. Praise, praise, praise until you feel like you need some pom-poms and an audition for ‘Bring It On 3: OH IT HAS BEEN BROUGHT-UN! ‘

This is something I seem to routinely forget, and remember, and it always helps a lot for whatever it is we’re doing… praise praise praise for the good stuff she does. The last week I have been tearing my hair out and losing it and screaming like a banshee out of the blue because this behaviour was just pushing me to the very edge of existence (work (as opposed to staying at home with kids all day) has SO made my “patience” supplies dwindle, sigh) and I just have to keep remembering this, because I know it will help. Praise praise praise. Over the top praise, even. Every time she does it *right* I coo and carrying on until I feel like an idiot, except for the look on her face as she absorbs every word makes it totally worth it.
Hopefully with praise and my magical brainwashing abilities, I will still keep a bit of my hair. Holiday parties are coming up you know.

do you have kids? any special disciplining tricks you have tucked in your sleeve you want to share?
-amy points you in a crooked line

HOST BODY BROKEN. MUST OBTAIN NEW HOST BODY.

Harumph.

Despite the fact that the dude I voted for won, I am all in a grump this evening.

It could be because my body seems to be aging and has little aches and pains that make me feel OH SO OLD (I’m 32, btw.). I blame my OBGYNs from when I was pregnant, both times. Because when you are pregnant, you learn aaaaaaall about the vena whatever it is, and how if you lay on your LEFT side, you will have improved circulation which equals better blood pressure and better overall for the baby.

So you spend 9 months trying to remember, “which side was it? oh yeah. left. too late. i’m on the right side and it will take a crane to turn me over so this is as good as it gets” until eventually you remember and then ALWAYS sleep on your left side and now, I still fucking sleep on my left side. I don’t mean to. I just do. Jocelyn is TWO for crying out loud, and I’m still sleeping on my left side.
Well, my left shoulder is killing me. It’s been kind of giving me trouble for the last few weeks and I’ve ignored it like a champ, but this week, it REALLY hurts. Something is seriously wrong going on in the actual shoulder socket, and i’m sure it’s because that’s the side I always sleep on. Do chiropractors fix shoulder sockets? Somehow I doubt it. It’s all spinal column stuff they do. that means I’m going to have to go to the doctor and I don’t wanna. WAH!

Argh, yeah, I’m getting old.

So that’s a big part of the grumps, but also I know it’s because I went to bed waaaay too late, and for me, too little sleep = mopeyness.

I HAVE A DAY OFF AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO! ALSO, THE PONY MY DADDY BOUGHT ME IS SICK AND MY DIAMOND STUDDED SHOES HURT MY FEET! WAH!

I have the day off tomorrow, and I have so many things I want to do that it’s depressing me to think of all the things I won’t be able to do. Isn’t that depressing? I’m getting DEPRESSED OVER HAVING A DAY OFF. Jeez, I should get over myself. Grrrr. So yeah, anyway, I have the day off, but the kids’ school is still open, and James doesn’t have it off, so it’s just me! My own little day, all to myself! How to spend it! Oh the choices! What to do what to do!

Things I have to do:

make some baked goods and take them to the kids’ school tomorrow, for a bake sale taking place saturday
pick kids up from school

things to do – the A list

finish some totoros that have been in progress for, oh 2 months now
make-a-long dolls
go out to lunch with james and friends
go into dc and do some museum strolling
go shoot some photos (could be done with the museum strolling)
read my new design book
find my painting supplies
might need to buy some painting supplies
paint

things to do – the B list

the mending (ethan has about 4 pairs of pants with big holes in the knees)
investigate picasa / sort through photos / convert some RAW stuff to jpg / deliberate on renewing flickr pro account
scan in some pages from newly (well, several months ago, they were newly) obtained books
find a bloglines/wordpress plugin to keep my blogroll updated
some dvd to ipod ripping
some general file cleanup and hard drive backing up
some audio cd backing up
mix CD for friends/relatives
yardwork, cleaning up dead annuals, tomato plants, lay down compost/mulch of some sort, compost now rotting jack-lanterns, purchase winter annuals, put them in

things to do – the C list

put away the mountain of laundry on our bed
clean up the house
go through the stacks of mail and magazines that are conveniently hidden on the lower shelf of our coffee table
clean the litter box
take down halloween decorations (minimal, actually)

You know, this list was good. It’s very clear to me now that I don’t want to spend time sitting around on the computer. I want to be creative and artsy fartsy. And I definitely don’t want to do house cleaning, even though I need to. I think I’ll get up, spend the morning sewing, go to lunch, head into DC for a few hours with my camera, and head back in time to get the kids from school. I will stay away from the computer all day.
Doh. Except I need to conjure up some baked goods. Well, I can do that in the morning too.

What would you do if you had a day (ok, more like 8 hours), all to yourself, to do whatever you like? Would you get all the laundry out of the way? Or ditch it all and go on an adventure? Laze around in your jammies? Do tell 🙂

-amy thinks it will be gingerbread cookies tomorrow. Yum.

WE HAVE TO CLOTHE THEM TOO?? SHEESH.

I don’t understand it.

It seems like I buy the kids clothes all the time. But Jocelyn has nothing to wear.

Last Friday, I thought it was because it was all dirty. But this weekend we’ve managed to cycle all but one load (and it’s whites, towels and dish/washclothes and things, not many clothes) through, and it’s all piled up on our bed. And tuesday morning? I rumaged through it, and found – NOTHING! The girl only has like, 3 shirts! I had to put Ethan’s sweater on her! It was the sweater I made him wear for school picture day, and he hates it. He saw me putting it on her, and instantly said, “She can wear my sweater mommy! It’s OK by me!” No kidding, sherlock.

Also.. at the end of the summer, I bought Jocelyn a few pairs of pants. 2T. Which are now (only 3 months later) way too small. They don’t really want to button around her big baby-tummy (babies have the cutest huge tummies. Jocelyn has still got hers. We used to call them frog-tummies), and she’s showing off her ankles to the cold elements, because they’re too short.

When she was a baby, I tried to cycle in some of Ethan’s too-small clothes into her wardrobe, but I soon stopped doing that, because not only is she NOT a boy, but she really does like *shudder* pink and girly things (i don’t mind the girly. just the pink). I do it with the non-gender things though, like jeans.

However, when James puts the laundry away (NOT THAT I AM COMPLAINING!) he sometimes looks at something and still assumes it’s Ethan’s without looking at the size tag.

And then we have this:

It’s hard to tell how SHORT these are on him, so we tried a few different poses:

I should have gotten a shot of him in the car, sitting in his carseat, which made them rise up to his shins.

ENOUGH ABOUT THEM. NOW ME.

So, along with my stinky tarty school marm shoes, I got some new pants a week or so ago. I took a look at my closet and realized that it was mostly skirts, and I need some more pants to through into the mix. I like flirty skirts, but not EVERY day. So I got me 3 pairs of nice pants, and since I have my tarty school marm shoes with the high heels, I got them long. They’d be too long with normal shoes, but with the shoes, they’re just about 1-1 1/2 inches from the ground. They are very swishy and make me feel oh so grown up. Which is important when you need to convince other people that you are grown up and don’t fantasize about doing cartwheels down the hallway at work. Oh no, not ME. I’m grown up! See? I have the pants to prove it! Too bad I shoot it all to hell coming in on casual Friday with jeans, flip-flops and a Seattle Opera t-shirt.

So, anyway. One pair in particular have a very wide leg, and are possibly a smidge TOO long. Because of this, I think of that movie, “House of Flying Daggers” where in the fan dance (at least in the commercials, i haven’t seen it) the girl has to like, toss her huge long kimono sleeve out away from her body like a yo-yo. and then pull it back in to her body to do it again and again and again.

Those are my pants. Yo-yo flying dagger pants. One step, out they go! SWISH! Other leg comes forward, it’s their turn! SWISH! yeah, you don’t want to be in my head when I’m wearing these pants. It’s like I’m a gay man with all that SWISHING.

I just had a discussion with james on whether it is normal to give as many little names to objects and people as I do. Can you say stinky tarty school marm shoes? Can you say yo-yo flying dagger pants?

He said, No. Not normal. You are a freak.

I said, I don’t care… Borg-boy.

INTERNET, I HATE-LOVE YOU. IF YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN I’LL KILL YOU! DON’T EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN OR I WILL DIE!

Our internet was out all day today, and some of last night too. The first part of this post was actually meant to be posted last night. But no inkernet. Sniff. Since all our mail and websites and domains and databases and file servers and kitchen sinks and kittens and puppies are hosted right on computers in our basement (heretoforE known as “james’ borg collective”), if our basement has no internet connection, well, not only can we not look at stuff on the internet, well, no one can look at us! or email us! or wash their hands in our kitchen sink! or pet a kitty or puppy! ok, not those last things, but you get the general frustrating idea.

so our interweb connection is back up now, and thank god, because all the bits and bobs coming through the series of tubes was sorely missed!

POLITICS:

Um. Frak.

Never mind.. I changed my mind. Maybe tomorrow.

THE END.

-amy breathes a sigh of relief ahhhhhhhhhhhh interweb sooooo goooooooood