First off, I’m pleased to announce that when I rolled over in bed this morning and took a quiet little peep at the new banner lying there, it’s pixels all akimbo, I was relieved and pleased to find that I still liked it. We won’t have a May Banner #3. I know you’re all relieved too, and find my wild fickle fluctuations terribly upsetting.

Secondly, what is going on? Hello? Did everyone take the day off or something? My commute to work with the PKR at my side was DISTURBINGLY QUICK AND EASY. First there was the usually stop-up at Linton Hall and 28, and there was no backup at all. After I picked up the PKR and hopped on 66, the usual parking lot until we get into the full 4 lanes was not too eye-gougingly painful at all. Before we hit 28, I pointed out that there were actually more cars in the HOV lane that in the other lanes! Then we hit the place right before 50 that is usually where everyone puts it into park, cranks up their radios, and hops out onto their hood for a quick smoke before it’s time to get back in, move up 5 feet, and then repeat. We managed to keep going about 45 MPH throughout that spot. Then when we took our exit (Nutley) and beheld the 2 lights we needed to go through to turn left onto 29.. There was nothing. Maybe a dozen cars, if that. It was just clear sailing and smooth untrodden on asphault as far as the eye could see.

WHAT IS GOING ON, PEOPLE? YOU ARE ALL STARTING TO WIG ME OUT JUST A WEE BIT!

Seriously did everyone take Cinco de Mayo off? Has everyone just left town for a long weekend and nobody told me they were going? What the fuck?

Someone let me know, or I’m going to assume that aliens have abducted two-thirds of the commuting population.

I’ve kind of not written in this here space (is it just me that noticed I’ve not really been writing and everyone reading is like, “huh? what? you’ve been half-assing it? Didn’t even notice. Later.”) because I wanted to write about all the stuff that has happened already before I write about current things, or even things that are rolling around in my head, and part of why I haven’t written about past things is because I wanted to post pictures along with it, and that requires me getting the photos into some semblence of post-a-bility, and so instead of sitting down and writing, I’ve been sitting down and photo wrangling. Then I’m like, “well, damn where has the time gone? Well I’ll just put up some pictures since I didn’t have time to write” which is why there have been a lot of posts with just photos instead of words. Which I’m kind of liking anyway, now I just need to post some words too, and I’ll be happy. So, in a nutshell, I may never talk about the things I was going to, in the past, because a) it’s been like 2 weeks now and I’ve forgotten a lot of it, and b) i haven’t had time to write much anyway and now it’ll take forever to catch up to the “present.”

WE HAVE CATS. OH DO WE HAVE CATS.

Trinity our cat has always peed everywhere, and last year she finally starting peeing everywhere with a little reddish hue and we woke up and thought, Hmmm! Gee! maybe she’s doing this because something is wrong! We took her in, and yes, there was something wrong, and it was bladder stones, and she had surgery, and we paid astronomical fees and took her home with the instructions that we had to change her food.

The thought of “but how will we change just her food and not the others and oh this will be so difficult to orchestrate” as well as some vague directive that the other cats might be ok with eating the food too but have them tested anyway, kind of made it all sink into the background and we never got around to it.. and so now, she’s REALLY been peeing everywhere lately and so I took her into the vet and sure enough, she has red blood cells in her urine and the vet recommends an ultrasound to check for more stones. We suck as kitty-parents.

But she is back home now, and on antibiotics, and we seem to have gotten the feeding cats separately part down, and have EVEN managed to give her her pill without forgetting even once (SO FAR!) (OH MY GOD WHY DID NO ONE EVER GIVE US A “PILLER” BEFORE THEY ARE SO EASY!) and now we just have to schedule a sonogram and get the other cats in for their yearly shots and we MIGHT be able to remove the “sucky kitty-parents” sign from off of our backs. I will always kind of have that sign, because… now don’t hate me… I would be much happier if we just didn’t have any cats at all. I’ve said it before, and now I’m saying it again. I’d love to not feel the grit of litter on my laundry room floor, and not have to scoop out poop and pour out food into bowls and the level of effort has now just gone way up what with the separate foods and all, so you may now all hate me as I hate myself for wanting to shirk my responsibilities as a cat owner. Anyone want a cat? Or three?
Ethan’s birthday is next week, which means we have to go find him a bike this weekend, which is what we decided we’d be giving him for his birthday. Then he is having a birthday party next Saturday with the 8 kids from his class all invited. Eight. 4-year-olds. In my house. I haven’t even figured out what to do for it yet. I have gotten a few suggestions – a camping theme, with flashlights for the kids and toasting marshmellows and hotdogs over a fire and tents and camping games and camoflaugeyness. I read about a dinosaur theme where the kids can find “bones” (dog bones) in the sand like in an archeological dig. Honestly, that sounds neat and all, but I think ethan would rather just play in the sand with his tiny loader and bulldozer like a normal kid. Plus, we have a pretty small sand table and I don’t think that would work. One game I heard is to tie a prize/treat on one end of a string/ribbon and give each kid an end and work their way to the prize, which could be fun. I will probably end up doing the tried and true, “procrastinate until the last minute and just let them play with the toys we already have for a while, then have pizza and cake and ice cream and call it good.”

So, yeah, I wish I was all Martha Stewart with the ideas and the time for super cool execution, and honestly, I would make a pretty good effort if I hit on the right idea, but the procrastination thing is starting to creep up and be the party theme by default. So if you have any wonderful fantazmagoric ideas for me, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR THEM. Even something for the goody bags, for Jocelyn’s I bought the random plastic crap that is in all the goody bags you see, but I also made marble magnets with simple shapes and colors that can go on the fridge. This time, I’d like to do more handmade and less plastic that will be trashed, or at LEAST get some plastic that will be used. I’m thinking something to drive all the parents crazy – like kazoos. The kids would LOVE them. Parents, not so much.

I am totally going to steal this idea for Ethan’s fifth birthday party.

Anyway, enough with the typing for today. Some things I want to spill (this list is more for my own reference than yours: yard photos and plans, how i killed all (almost all) my little baby seedlings, other things I did NOT kill (but almost did), project skinny starting over AGAIN (really, i mean it this time, no REALLY), environmental anxiety and guilt and How This Might Be The Straw That Brings Divorce Papers, and remind me to tell you about the Dawn and Drew Show and how I was ON IT.
The End.

-amy hopes the traffic is also non existant this afternoon.

I wasn’t liking the old one the morning after. Oh yes, morning after regret, how I know thee. I loaded it up all bleary eyed with that pounding headache from all the booze and drugs, and the banner looked all dark and smudgy and not at all the way I remembered it from the night before. So I dumped it (but I still love your lamp, Tamara!) and went with this all-Ethan-all-the-time banner. He was mugging furiously for the camera and James was snapping away, and I thought it would look pretty nice as a banner. Pretty sure that tomorrow morning, me and this banner will still be on speaking terms. Hit reload if necessary.

Plus, Jocelyn needs more fodder for when she is a sullen teenager, and she point at this and holler, “YOU ALWAYS LOVED ETHAN MORE! YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND ME!” before stomping off to her room and slamming the door with the violence of .. well, a sullen teenager and then cranking up the 2019 version of The Cure at top volume.

-amy

SOME CUTE AND ABNORMALLY LARGE ANIMALS:

Tai-Shan, the nation’s capitol’s DARLING! He is pretty cute, isn’t he?

a freakishly large frog or toad.

SOME CUTE KIDS:

Jocelyn didn’t want to leave, and threw herself to the ground when informed that it was time to go.

Everyone was tired after our trip to the zoo. Jocelyn fell asleep in the car, which is saying something for Miss I Am Such A Good Sleeper That I Require My Bed For Any Sleeping Activity.

someday i will stop posting photos instead of actually TELLING you how life is going, but … I guess today is not the day.

-amy

Made a trip to the dentist this morning. The last time I went was when I was pregnant with Ethan. He’ll be 4 next week, so… it’s been a while.

I had a faint pain in one of my molars and had a sneaking suspicion I had a cavity. I’ve never had a cavity before, and I was kind of sad that I would lose my streak.

So. I went.

I was told, “Sure enough, you have teeth!”

Teeth were x-rayed.

Teeth were scraped.

Teeth were cleaned.

With my tongue, I can now feel the definition between each of my bottom teeth, rather than just one smooth surface. (*cough* ok, i need to floss more)

Then, I left.

The streak continues! Wahoo!

My neighbor and friend Selena mentioned that her favorite banner was the one of me and Jocelyn. So though it’s not of me and Jocelyn, it is one of the 2 cutest kids ever. Not that I’m biased or anything.

Yeah, bet you thought I wasn’t doing it, eh Anna?

I WOULD NEVER NOT DO IT!

I AM: WOMAN! RAWR!
I WANT: more hours in the day.
I WISH: I could ride my bike more, for longer.
I HATE: cleaning.
I MISS: my life before we had kids.
I FEAR: losing members of my family.
I HEAR: the Dawn and Drew show.
I WONDER: if the Dawn and Drew show will play my audio comment(s) (they have played one! if you want to know which, email me).
I REGRET: NOTHING! (ha. if only this were true.)
I AM NOT: June Cleaver, though I do use dishwashing gloves.
I DANCE: even when people ARE looking.
I SING: ABBA songs, loudly. AQUA too.
I CRY: when I don’t get enough sleep, or when I have PMS. Or when I watch sappy movies. Or when I FEEL LIKE IT, AND I DON’T THINK I HAVE TO JUSTIFY MY REASONS FOR YOU, NOSEY INQUISITIVE LIST-TYPE THING!
I AM NOT ALWAYS: very attractive.
I MAKE WITH MY OWN HANDS: cinnamon rolls, bread, pies, cakes and biscuits. Websites.
I WRITE: crazymokes.com. Checks to pay our utilities. (just kidding. online banking is my friend.)
I CONFUSE: the birds who are trying to make a nest in our dryer vent.
I NEED: to quit leaving my wallet in random establishments.
I SHOULD: clean more.
I START: sudoku puzzles. And laundry. And quilts and crochet projects. And making marble magnets.
I FINISH: suduko puzzles. And making marble magnets. And watching Gilmore Girls.
I TAG: Nobody — if you feel like doing it, feel free 🙂

-oooh, this was fun 🙂 Thanks Anna!

My mother loves to do laundry. So she REALLY loves to come to my house, because there’s always a ton of laundry stacked up, both to do, and to put away. She mentioned to me how she thought there was a mouse in our laundry room when she was here, but I didn’t really think about it, because the cat litter box is in there, and sometimes the scratchign around they do could be taken for a mouse.

Then she said that our dryer isn’t working.

There’s been an awful lot of bird poop on our driveway. And even a broken, very soft blue eggshell.

Some birds have been trying to make a home in our dryer vent.

James unhooked the vent and it was STUFFED full of twigs, straw, what-have-you nest makings. He dumped it out in the trash (no eggs, thank goodness) and hooked it back up, but Saturday morning, I awoke to the twittering and scratching around to definite bird-in-the-dryer-tube noises.

Ethan was awake so we opened the window shade that looks right out to the vent from our laundry room, and saw the bird fly in and out a few times. Then he spotted us watching him and stayed away for a while.

We also have birds nesting in .. I guess the gutters right above Jocelyn’s window. It is pretty frustrating because when we bought the house, our inspector pointed this particular spot out, and said, “You need to get that closed off or you’ll have bird problems.” Our builder refused to do anything about it, and we neglected to do anything, and now, sure enough, we have bird tenants. I don’t mind that, of course, and I think we’ll leave it until fall, and then go up and screen it off somehow.

But birds in my dryer venting tube, this, I can’t really accept. I need my dryer. I dry things in my dryer. We dumped the tube out again (again, no eggs, please birds, don’t lay eggs!) but this morning, once again, I heard them busily filling my dryer tube with nest stuff. Yesterday I went to Lowes and got a nifty vent thing with a plastic cage that would block them from entering. The problem is it has to be installed on the outside of the house, and our ladder isn’t tall enough. So, buy another ladder (NO ROOM!!!) or hire someone. Or see if friends have a crazy tall ladder we could borrow (anyone have a crazy tall ladder we could borrow?)

I REALLY hope they don’t/haven’t laid eggs in there. We can watch for them as we’re emptying our dryer tube, but what would we do with them if we find them? I don’t want to hurt or abscond with some poor birds’ eggs!

Anyway. Those are our unwanted tenants… And it’s about eviction time. I have a pile of laundry to do.

-amy

… HOSE!!!

Here it is, Monday morning, and I didn’t sit down and write like I meant to last week. So, there’s no time like the present, right?

I think I”m going to take that as my new mantra. NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT, FOOL! JUST DO IT!

First, our trip and the grandparents visit, just so I can mentally check that off in my head.

The trip was faaaaaabulous, dahling, absolutely faaaaaabulous. We went up to see two fellow HSBR-ers get married, and a lot of our HSBR internet friends were there, some of whom I hadn’t met before, so it was really cool, both to meet new faces, and to see the old ones again. Saturday while James and Bill went off galivanting on a beer run, Ronna and I went to the mall and I probably agonized her by asking a zillion times, “What do you think of these?” and then changing my mind – outcome: I got some new sandals which I adore, but sometimes make my toes numb. Probably not a good sign.

The wedding was beautiful. I beleive they originally wanted an outdoor ceremony, but it was COLD and drizzly all day, so it wasn’t to be. However, the room was beautiful, with a glimpse of the drizzly hazy outside that was really very stunning, but of course, not as stunning as the bride herself.

It was the first real chance I got to use our new camera, and even though the light was low at the wedding, I think I got some very nice shots. It really made me want a big long lens (don’t be a perv) and a flash that I can bounce off walls. I love to people-shoot, and weddings are perfect for that, but with the basic lens that we have, I pretty much had to get right in people’s faces to shoot, and then they’re not being normal and natural anymore, they’re very aware of the camera and that’s not as fun.

After the wedding there was much hanging out in the hotel bar, but I was pretty tired and a little hung over (yes, already) and plus the guy playing his guitar and singing was a little too much like tom petty vs. bob dylan. I wish now I had stayed up, because everyone left the bar and went to Poster’s room to try some scotch. James tells me that he’s going to get some scotch sometime. I guess he enjoyed it.

Sunday we got up, packed up a bit, went down to breakfast with everyone, including the bride and groom, talked and hugged lots and then we checked out and came home.

There was some stress the night we left. Ethan is no dummy. Last time Grandma was in town, I was in the hospital for pancreatitis for a week. The time before that was when Jocelyn was born and she came to watch Ethan while James and I were breathing and pushing and getting epidurals (ok more me than him but you get my point). So, again, the boy’s no idiot. When he heard Grandma and Grandpa were coming, he asked me, “Are you leaving?” to which I could only answer, “Not today!” So he knew something was up. He seemed to take it pretty well when I explained what was going to happen before bedtime, and bedtime went smoothly. About 35 minutes after everyone was in bed however, he started wailing/crying. I went in and he immediately informed me tearfully that he wanted DADDY, not me. So I called James in and we both stayed and heard about how he doesn’t want us to go. It was sad. We got him settled down and he was asleep not long after, but leaving after THAT was really tough.

Of course, I managed through it all somehow. AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND, WAHOOOO!!

Monday morning we went to the zoo, for all too short of a time period. My brother Larry had to go to the airport at 2pm and that was all the way out in dulles and so we left after only 2 hours, much to Ethan’s dismay. We did see the baby panda, however, who was out with his mommy lazing around and being shy with all the folks watching him. He had his back to his audience for the most part, but did lay on his back and looked at us a few times. We also saw the giraffe, and the daddy elephant, some cheetahs, and a very large frog (which was just in a little pond in the cheetah exhibit). The kids had a blast. My folks were around for a few days after that, and sucked up as much grandkid cuteness as they possibly could before they headed out. It was a very nice visit.

I will have to continue about this last weekend at another time, so I will post a few photos in the next post, and continue on about last weekend another time, hopefully tonight.
-amy wants her bed.