Every night, when I put the kids to bed, I always tell them to have good dreams. And then whenever I get them up, I ask them if they had good dreams, and what they were.* This morning I sat on Ethan’s bed and rubbed his back as he was waking up, and told him good morning. Usually this takes a few minutes for him to “wake up,” but this morning, nearly as soon as his eyes were open, he sat up and climbed into my lap for a great big morning hug. I asked him if he had good dreams, and he nodded, and then I asked him what he dreamed of. I think that sometimes he doesn’t remember or doesn’t dream, and has a standard answer of “trains!” or “dump trucks!” but sometimes I can really tell that he is remembering his dream and he tells me about it. It’s never as detailed as I would like, as I think the dreams of little kids are just fascinating.

This morning, he grinned up at me and said, “I dreamed about YOU!”

“REALLY! What did I do in your dream?”
“We went up in an AIRPLANE!”
“That sounds like it was a LOT of fun!”
“It was! It was great!”
“Let’s be sure to meet in your dreams again.”

It was pretty sweet.

*This makes it sound like I do all the putting to bed and waking up in the house. This is not the case. I just mean, whomever i’m putting to bed, and whenever i get someone up, this is what I say/ask.

This morning we were driving away from our house, and up ahead there was a school bus stopped, and the kids were all climbing on board. The car in front of us stopped, and a little girl and her mommy got out. Her mommy put some aquaphor on her lips, and then the girl hustled down to the bus, which was waiting for her, and she climbed on board.

My kids watched this in fascination. I excitedly pointed out the school bus to them, and then they were full of observations.

“LOOK at the BIG kids!”
“I’m going to be a big kid too, and get on a school bus!”
“I’m not a big kid. I’m an OLD KID.” (jocelyn)
“LOOOOOK! LOOOOOOK! SHE HAS AQUAPHOR TOOOOO!”
“Are they kindergarteners, mommy?”
“Yes, there are some kindergarteners there.”
“I’m going to be a kindergartener too, and ride the bus!”
“Yes, next year you’ll be a kindergartener, but I think you’ll still be at OurSchool, so we’ll drive you. But when you’re a first grader, THEN you’ll ride the bus.”

He didn’t answer to this, but was mulling it over.

Kindergarten decisions await us. Their preschool has a private full day kindergarten, and with 8 kids to 1 teacher vs. 25 kids to 1 teacher, I think you’ll agree that that isn’t a hard decision to make (keeping him at his current school vs. putting him in the overcrowded public school). Even if they fix the overcrowding (which I’ve heard they will) it is still not a ratio anywhere near as good as what OurSchool has. So even though the lure of saving money is strong, we’ll probably be doing the private school thing for him for kindergarten.

But the THOUGHT of putting him in the public school and how does that work? and what about before/after school care? and who runs it? when? how much? will he like it? is just poking at me all the time, and while I am happy with our situation right now, with both of us working, and both kids at the same school, in a few years, it will all change and it scares me a bit. It will definitely be tough to have Jocelyn at the private school, and ethan in the public school, just in terms of picking up / dropping off, but I wouldn’t want to gyp her out of a good start in her education by not putting her in the private kindergarten that her brother will have gone to, and I heard some talk at my Bunco night about the extended day care and how some of the mums weren’t too happy with it..

But what it really boils down to.. I would like to be home when my kids come home from school. It is how I grew up, and I just don’t like to picture anything other than that for my kids. It’s kind of weird. I mean, weird that I am totally fine with how things are now, but I don’t like going on this way in the future. You’d think that if I’m fine with it now, I should be fine with it then, but I’m not, I’m very squidgy about it then.

I don’t know what will happen, but I guess we’ve got a few years to figure it out yet. I know what I DON’T want, and that is sending my kids off to college and then feeling like my life is over and there’s nothing left to live for. I know that this doesn’t happen to all SAHMs, but I do know some that it HAS happened to, and heaven knows it can probably happen to working moms too.. I have made some big steps to try to keep my OWN life going along with my family life, and so I think the foundation is there.

Anyway. A lot of rambling. Again. We’ve got a few years to figure it out.

-amy gave you a two for one tuesday

because i missed you.

remember when i said that since my husband james was going to take our web stuff off our borg collective in our basement and open up a hosting account somewhere and put it all there, and this was terrific because it meant that our stuff would be up all the time, every time, even when our own home internet goes out, and isn’t the inkernet a magical, magical series of tunnels that al gore invented?

well, that all is dependant on everything being set correctly in the hosting account.

something wasn’t.

and unbeknownst to me, my main email address, the one i’ve used for years and years was bouncing all over the place.

and then, beknownst to me, my blog email address stopped working too.

and then, very very beknownst to me, my website (this thing here) stopped being available through the series of tubes.

and then i banged my head against lots of hard surfaces and cried.

you know, it’s funny how i sit and look at my site each morning, and i think, gee.. not sure what i could possibly write about.. i saw a weird license plate on my way to work. i even broke out my trusty camera phone and tried to take a picture of it. i don’t know why i keep trying to do this because it comes out looking like a big fuzzy blur. i’ve deleted a whole folder of big fuzzy blurry cars all grainy and pixelated. maybe the internet wants to see interesting/weird/indecipherable license plates. at least it would be something to post. CAN you post license plates on the internet? I don’t see why not, since folks see them when you’re driving down the road. Just imagine their driving along the internet. through the series of tubes.

so yeah. not a whole lot of inspiration on what to write.

BUT THEN THE INTERNET STOPS SERVING UP MY WEBSITE AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE ARE A MILLION THINGS THAT I MUST. BLOG. ABOUT. RIGHT. AT. THAT. MOMENT. AND. YET. I. CANT.

oh the harrowingness of it all.

of course, now that it’s back, i can’t think of a damn thing to write again.

except i missed you too. i could take you home and kiss you all over. DON’T EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN! I JUST CAN’T HANDLE IT!

I DON’T LIKE THE SHAKES! SHAKES NOT GOOD!

SINGITY SINGITY SING SING

So I joined a community choir. I went to my first rehearsal and everything this evening. It was great fun. I’m going to help their (I guess i should say ‘our’ now) website to stop being shitty. Yay me!

It was an adventure, to say the least. It is a very small group (maybe 12-15 folks total), and they were missing a handful of members, so it ended up that there were no sopranos. so i said sure, i’d take soprano. so we have me, SIGHTREADING as the lone soprano. the director arrived a bit late, which was good for me, becuase we ran through all the music a few times, so it wasn’t completely new by the time she went through it with us. still. i was just trying to get notes and rhythms right, and maybe, if you’re lucky, words, and the director was aiming for ACTUAL MUSICALITY. you know, like dynamics and different tonality and diction. and then there were those high Fs and Gs (for those of you that don’t know, THOSE ARE REALLY FREAKING HIGH NOTES) that I, alto at heart, and mezzo soprano AT BEST managed to squeak out (by myself! no other voices to blend in with cover it up!) fairly decently, and well, damn. I must say. I am proud of myself 🙂

After rehearsal was over, I asked the director if she wanted me to audition* or anything, even though I had just sung with the group the entire rehearsal. She laughed and said no, I was doing fine.

“You are trained..?”

she didn’t really pose this as a question, but she looked at me like she expected an answer, so I kind of stammered something out.

“Um, yeah. Sort of. I mean, I was a voice major. I dropped out.”

“I see. I could tell**. Where did you study?”

“Brigham Young University.”

“Really! Wonderful.”

She said more stuff too, thanking me for giving what she was asking for, which was nice of her, as mostly, I was just trying not to sound too screechy on the high parts, get the music right, and tried to pay attention to her as much as I could while I was at it. I’m definitely going to get my parts down this week so next week I can forget about the music, and pay attention to the music.

Seriously.. it’s been … 10 years? and it feels great to be singing in a group again. I feel GREAT.

*i brought my books and everything, i was SO PREPARED. I had “Amarilli Mio Bella”, from 26 Italian Songs and Arias ready (super fancy and all classical and operatic), On My Own, from Les Miserables, and either Night and Day, Summertime, or Since I Fell For You from my jazz fake book I could do too. so, classical, broadway, jazz.. I was covered. I’m actually kind of disappointed she didn’t need to hear me 🙂

** I’m going to take this as, she could tell I studied voice, NOT she could tell I dropped out 🙂

PROJECT PHOTO ALBUM

…is still ongoing. I have selected all the photos i want to print, and while I was going to go the costco/snapfish route ($.17/4×6), it costs a lot less to just go the straight snapfish route ($.10/4×6 if you prepay) and when you have FIVE HUNDRED PHOTOS that you decide you want to print (i know. i know. i managed to whittle it down to 450. good lord.) well, that extra 7 cents a photos makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

I am going to check these out too. Very cool.

OK. Enough blogginess for now.

Except to say, did you know it’s national delurking week?

So DELURK I say! I COMMAND THEE! COMMENT HERE, ON THE MOKES DE CRAZY! ALL… 7 OF YOU*!

I’m going to try to make a point of commenting on the many, many, MANY bajillion blogs in my blogroll too, so come on folks, let’s go out there and dirty up the internet with our muddy feet stomping our comments all over the place.

And you can START HERE 🙂

-amy sings, “Cheezus was sacrifiiiiiiceduh!”

*ok. i’m being a bit optimistic 🙂 it’s probably more like…. 4. just comment already!

hi there 2007! buh-bye 2006.

i look back on the old year as a good one. personally, i took a lot of really good healthy steps.

i definitely have some demons that i battle from time to time. it’s hard to even explain what gets me down. when i’m in an ok place, i don’t mind james disapearing downstairs to play World of Warcraft. Not even a whit. However, when I’m not, I want to throw his computer and that game into a big long pit with big firey spikes sticking up all menacing at the bottom. I want to gouge out his eyes with shrimp forks for leaving my side, but then when he does stay with me, i glower and pout and make life miserable.

When I’m in a funk, it is because I don’t like who I am, or how I am perceived (or rather, how I imagine others are perceiving me) or that these titles that are tagged on to me don’t feel at all like who i am.. (mother.. wife.. woman, working mom, responsible adult..). The things that I love and hold most dear are the very things that turn into shackles that bite into my skin as I rail against them. Somehow these things are the things, the “reasons” that I am unhappy. Somehow in my head things like having children living in surburbia equates to me being a boring surbuban house frau, or it equates to me being weird and strange and different from my neighborhood friends who seem to have it together, more together than I, which in turn makes me feel like a cat wearing a dog costume in a world with no cats.

I realize I’m rambling. I realize I’m making no sense. And it really makes no sense when I get all in a funk, and try to explain to my husband who just wants to do something, ANYTHING, to help me feel better. And I just can’t put it into words, that feeling of inadequacy, the sinking pit of dhoom that won’t give me up.

I’m rambling because I just have such a hard time expressing the dark places my brain sometimes puts me in, especially when I haven’t been there for a while, which I’m glad to say, I haven’t.

Why haven’t I? This is what I’m reflecting on. I think it’s because of something that I always knew I was supposed to do. Everyone knows that you have to take time for yourself. We’ve all read it and been preached at about it, but do you actually DO it? New parents especially are always told that you have to take some time for yourself, PLAN OUT time to spend together as a couple, blah blah blah. New moms, be sure to treat yourself to a nice luxorious bubble bath, take care of yourself, blah blah blah. I think the big steps I’ve taken in the latter half of this year have been taking care of myself. My inner self.

I love reading crafty blogs and seeing the creative awesomeness that comes out of these bloggers heads. I’ve recently disregarded any self deprecation and have started doing it myself to the extent that I have even decided to cater to this hobby a bit and set up my own table where my sewing machine and supplies live. I didn’t worry about the cost (which was dumb, because ikea is cheap) and the weirdness of making my front room into a craft room (it didn’t have anything in there anyway, so hello! good use of space!) and just went with it so that I could have some space to work when the mood struck and not have to be constantly moving my shit on and off the kitchen table. It feels good to “own” this. I may still be a sucky beginner, but I LIKE to sew and make things. I think I never really liked the thought of what this hobby would do to other people’s perceptions of me. Which is pretty stupid, because I LOVE and ADMIRE the crafty people I come across. It was just some part of me denying that I could/should do it.

I wanted to become a better photographer and kind of strong-armed james into getting a new camera. I have tried to carry it with me as much as possible and taken a photo safari class specific to my camera and while I wouldn’t say i’m fantastic, I am happy exploring this side of my artistic self as well.

This one is kind of dumb, but I’ve given up any weird notions I had about my hair and am back to using it as an ever-changing palette that I can alter as I want and use to show the world that I may be a suburban mom, but I’m not afraid to mix things up a bit (more on my further attempts at blonde-ness later). I’m no longer wondering or caring what others will think. It’s hair for heaven’s sake. it grows back.

I really didn’t care and just up and WENT to an indigo girls concert by myself.

I’ve had so much fun planting and growing things in my garden, despite my lack of knowledge or experience.

It’s like I’ve been lost. It’s like I had forgotten things that I loved, or the old things I loved didn’t have any appeal for me and nothing had taken it’s place and it left me all empty and hollow inside. I had some online addictions for many many years (ahem. met james online, so it was good for something, thanks) but after i left them behind, i never replaced them with anything else.

Honestly, now that you’ve read this, it makes me sound like the pre-Amy was a martyr mom who catered to everyone else’s whims and wants, and this just IS NOT true. Anyone who knows me can say that I am a fairly outspoken gal who does what she wants and has no qualms with taking time for herself. What I am trying to point out is that I didn’t really know want I wanted, I didn’t really feel as if I had a real purpose, just FOR ME. I was always looking at the things other people loved to do and thought, “how cool for them,” but really had nothing for myself. I think I really did lose a part of myself in becoming a mom, just being home with other small people who need your constant care and supervision can do that to a person, and in the last 4-6 months, I think I’ve found myself again.

And so for 2007, I resolve to carry on. Now that I’ve found her (ahem. I found myself, that’s who the “her” is, stay with me!), I’m not letting her go. More creativity in 2007, and hopefully in more ways that I wish I had the time and nerve to do, like:

finding a choir or chorale to sing with/in (a vocal jazz ensemble would be soooooooooo awesome)
jazz piano lessons (this might fall under “too much effort required” as i’d have to practice and shit)
sewing classes
knitting classes and groups
more crocheting
painting would be fun. i used to paint quite a bit
learning more about my camera/photography
more crafty stuff with my kids
more READING READING READING
maybe finally do the Artists’ Way for real (shut up linda! I KNOW I KNOW!)

I used to read all the time. I used to carry a book with me everywhere and read while I was walking. when I was little, i would read from my bed by the light of the hall (hello ruined eyesight) until my mom turned it off, and then i’d read by a flashlight under the covers. i definitely need to get reading back into my life. how in the crap it ever left my life (oh yeah, babies. that’s not true though. i got a lot of reading done during nursing time) i’m not sure, but it’s time to bring it back.

so there you go. i’ve been mulling all of this over for the past month or so, and it’s good to get it out there. What about you? Any new years resolutions? What do you do that is just for YOU?

happy new year to you, and may you take good care of your inner self 🙂

-amy

i’m crazy busy at work trying to get a publication out by friday. so no real blogging.

instead, i thought i’d just post some randomness throughout the day. it helps me get all the brain gook out, and well, you… um…. ok, no real benefit for you, but here you go anyway, out of the goodness of my heart. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND STUFF. HAVE MY BRAIN GOOK. BECAUSE. I. CARE.

• listening to a ‘Highlights of Aida’ (opera by Verdi, which I sang in the chorus of, many many years ago) at full blast makes for an interesting working environment. especially during the ‘return from battle’ crashy bangy loud parts. And since i can’t understand a word, it makes it easy to just relate it to whatever i’m doing. “Muuuuuuust LINK THOSE FOOTNOTES! Nooooooooooooowww check the ndashes! MUST MUST MUST LINK THOSE FOOTNOTES! doooooon’t forget those ndashes! Cross-reference! Cross-reference! Aaaaaaadd Referrrrrrrrrer! RE! FER! RER!”
• The bathroom in my office building has a little thingee on the wall (I think I’ve mentioned it before) that squirts out air freshener at timed intervals. Every month or so, it runs out and they replace the stuff inside. This month is the month that the bathroom stinks of rank too-strong floraly scent and it makes me want to do my business and get the hell OUT before my nose rebels. Maybe it’s all a plot for less lolly-gagging in the loo. (ahem. I have been known to lolly-gag. like you haven’t played sudoku on YOUR phone while in the bathroom. um. no? just me? ok then. so glad we shared!) I’m eagerly awaiting when this scent runs out and they replace it with something that doesn’t smell like someone drowned you in a big vat filled to the brim with cheap, stanky perfume.

UPDATE:
OK, so I was actually WORKING all day. Go figure. Maybe some photos tomorrow.

-amy

1) scrub the blackened bottom of cookie sheets.

me: james, commere. my hands are all wet. bring the camera.
james: (takes it all in with a glance)
me: this is the before.
james: i think the after is going to be a failure.

me: yeah, probably. no way this is getting unblackened.

…

me: IT’S A CHRISTMAS AN SOS PAD MIRACLE!

-amy does wear dishwashing gloves.? ya wanna make somethin of it, punk?

Trying out my colored contacts (sapphire).

they’ve been sitting in my medicine cabinet for a year now.

i wonder why i always end up making this face if a camera points at me long enough. I think it’s a severe Calvin and Hobbes influence.

they still don’t work right on my eyeballs. i think they don’t fit properly. every time i blink, they move around and then settle. very batty. anyway, i took them off, dropped them in the trash.

i like my own green eyes better anyhow 🙂

I just need some NEW CONTACTS so they don’t fall out from yuckiness!

-amy thinks this is going to be a lazy, photo-posting blog week

It’s brain vomit time, so please excuse the lack of any sort of linear narrative.

Jocelyn, the poor girl. We kept thinking it was a cold, and she stayed home Wednesday and Thursday. We were all set for her to go back to school Friday, but when I checked on her on the way to bed, she was WIDE AWAKE, and had a fever of 103. Ugh. Our girl is such a good sleeper, that she doesn’t even complain when she’s super duper sick. James stayed home, took her to the doctor and it turns out she has a double ear infection. It just breaks my heart. DOUBLE EAR INFECTION. And not a PEEP during the night. Ugh. My sister recently had an ear infection, and she informed me that hadn’t realized that DIZZINESS is one of the symptoms. She said she laid down and the room wouldn’t stop spinning. She didn’t realize what it was from, and thought she needed to eat something.

So of course, when Ethan whimpered a little Sunday morning, had a temperature of 102, I rushed him over to the urgent care center, only to hear his ears were fine, his throat is a little red, and I should “watch him and see how he does”. She gave me a prescription for an antibiotic, and if he gets worse I’m supposed to fill it.

I don’t like that really. I don’t think I can handle that sort of decision. and Ethan is no help, because you ask him how he’s feeling, and he says, “Good.” and then coughs up a lung (i’m exagerating). Anyway. The fever I think was a fluke, and we will indeed, wait and see. And possibly take him to his usual pediatrician for a more formal “yes do it.” before haphazardly giving him antibiotics.

On the upside, Jocelyn must be feeling better even though the snot factory in her nose is still going strong, because yesterday for naptime, she slept from 12:30 to 4pm. Making up for all that dizziness and no sleeping in the night, probably.

CURSE YOU PARENTS DAY OUT!!!

Our kids’ school offered another Parent’s Day Out – usually they are “Night Out,” but this one was saturday from 10am-3pm, so that parents could possibly go get some shopping done during the day w/out the kids. We did a wee bit of shopping, but most of the time was taken up with seeing Better Than Fiction (pretty good) and me dragging James to an Indian buffet that I’ve been to several times with work friends. After we got the kids, I was wondering if the whole thing was a good idea, because now they were all hopped up, had no naptime, and especially in Jocelyn’s case, were pretty whiney and fussy. And it was HOURS AND HOURS until bedtime. So I had the GRAND idea to go see the Bull Run Festival of Lights*. James put in his 2 bits on how it would be crowded, and I should have listened, OH HOW I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED. Trust me. Spending hours and hours at HOME with cranky kids who are whiney and prone to getting into fights is one thing. Hours and hours trying to entertain said kids while in the CAR is quite another. Ethan was a champ. Jocelyn not so much.

But we went, and spent maybe an HOUR just waiting to SEE the lights. If you’re in the area, and have a hankering to pay $15 to go see this extravagant display of leisurely use of electricity, I would advise NOT going on the weekend. We didn’t get home until 9pm, a good hour past their bedtime.

*I looked up the URL to link this too, and right there, on the front page, it states, “Expect long lines on the weekend.” I am dumb, dumb, dumb.

WE SAY THINGS THREE, THREE, THREE TIMES IN OUR HOUSE

I think it is because of my love for the Eloise books (they’re so super cute, go read one) and the fact that they actually made 2 made-for-tv MOVIES out of the Eloise books (ABC family is showing Eloise at Christmastime, AND Eloise at the Plaza put it on your TiVo!!!) and I like to watch them. In Eloise world, she has a nanny (played by Julie Andrews in the movie, she is so wonderful) who always says things three times. LORD, LORD, LORD, we are TIRED, TIRED, TIRED! It’s time to SLEEP, SLEEP, SLEEP! And thus, Eloise is always saying things in threes as well, and it has been something I’ve adopted unconsciously, and thus, the kids adopted, and I’ve even heard James say some things thrice as well!
So it is both cute, cute, cute, and SMELLY SMELLY SMELLY when I hear Jocelyn call out, “I am POOPY, POOPY, POOPY!” from her room in the morning. (not of the smeared kind, thankfully. just the in-the-diaper kind.)

OH MY LORD, IT’S ONE WEEK AWAY

That’s right. Christmas. One week from today. There are a plethora of conversations relating to the time and distance in space Christmas day is from the present time, with Ethan. It usually goes like this:

ethan: Is it after this day?
me: no, it’s not for one week. That is seven days.
ethan: GAH!*
me: and only six days until grandma and grandpa will be here!
ethan: YEAH! after this day?
me: no, six days. they will be here on christmas eve!
ethan: YES!
me: and then for a week, we’ll have no school, we’ll get to play at home with grandma and grandpa.
ethan: wahooo! in SEVEN DAYS.
me: yup.

The conversations with Jocelyn are much simpler:

jocelyn: it’s CHRISTMAS!!
me: it is christmas time, isn’t it!

the end.

*seriously. almost exactly like Grace does it from Will and Grace on that episode where she wants to go, “GAH!” and make the face on antique road show when her piece isn’t actually authentic. of course, it turns out that it is. I think this is one of 4 episodes that I have actually seen of Will and Grace.

OH MY LORD, IT’S SIX DAYS AWAY

That is when my folks come. This means I have a whole crapload of cleaning to do before their arrival. It’s amazing the things you start to do when you realize your mother will be in your house. I will have more on this on another date. Right now, I have to go wash all the windows.

-amy amy bo bamy banana fana fo famy, mi, my, mo mamey… AMY.

“I am not really make-up-ey.” (Can I be any more of a dork? She knew that just looking at my blotchy face!)

“Mousse? Mousse foundation? Do you still have that?” (because I got some long ago, when I was preparing for my wedding, which was, oh SEVEN years ago.) (and yes, they did still have it, and it’s awesome.)

“Sheer? What does that mean exactly?” (It’s a scale of how much makeup it looks like you’re wearing. Sheer = not much at all! less sheer = Tammy Faye Baker! Oh the things I learn! the mousse foundation is very sheer.)

“Face soap? In bar form? So I can stick it in the shower and might actually USE it?” (Didn’t have that, but had some other neato stuff that is a wash and toner all in one. Since I don’t know what toner is, I was impressed.)

“Oooooooh. This smells nice! Maybe I’ll tell my husband to get me some for Christmas.”
“Tell him it’s called, Blah blah blah blah.”
“(already forgotten) … I’ll just tell him to get the purple bottle.”

I haven’t stood at the make-up counter in a major department store for quite some time. I used to just trust my mother to look at me, shake her head in disappointment, and then give me stuff in hopes that I might, one day, use it. Now that I’m older, (and much farther away) now I just don’t really do anything. I put on some mascara if you’re lucky, and for a cleaning regime, sometimes I swipe my face with the Dove bar in my shower (soap, not chocolate covered ice cream), but not very often, because it leaves my face feeling tight and extra shiny.

So, I WOULD be good for another 7 years with no standing at the make-up counter, except that the counter lady gave me samples of a moisturizer (Perpetual Moisture 24 hr lotion) that make my face feel like satin, especially after I use the wash/toner stuff in the shower.

So I am going to have to get me some of that.

My mother must have gotten to her somehow.

QUICK NOTE:

In lieu of hosting this blog on the borg collective in our basement, James has purchased a hosting plan, and it’s moving over to a server which promises connectivity EVEN WHEN OUR OWN INTERNET IS OUT. How cool is that? So, it’s actually moved, but the DNS takes a day or so to update. Hopefully you won’t even notice anything. Just know that now, Crazy Mokes is even cooler. Just FYI.

THE KINGDOM OF MALL

I’ve discovered the way to withstand the holiday scroogocity that comes from entering into any retail location which bombards you with Christmas music.

(Even when it’s the same Christmas music that I, myself, play at home (harry connick jr, ella fitzgerald, bing crosby) it still sucks the life out of me when I’m in a store. Plus, it ruins the music so I don’t want to listen to it at home, even though it’s my favorite.)

Don headphones.

Blast ipod.

Ignore salespeople (and other customers) until you want questions answered or aid getting things down from top shelves or your credit card swiped.

Yes, this means that I ventured out into the Kingdom of Mall, where fake Santas reign and holiday cheer is strictly enforced on all unfortunate mall citizens (employees). Not only did I enter the Kingdom of Mall, I went to Tyson’s Corner, which is like going to the very Kingdomest of Kingdoms, not just any old Kingdom. The crowds weren’t too bad at all, and I reaquainted myself with the Elizabeth Arden counter at Macy’s, where I spewed lots of nonsense and the lady didn’t judge me too harshly.

Lest you think, “Oh she just stopped in at Macy’s and then left again. That’s not really a visit to the Kingdom of Mall,” I also went to: Pottery Barn Kids & Payless Shoes, all of which were at opposite ends of the Kingdom, and therefore maximized time spent amongst it’s citizens and visitors. Total time spent: 2 hours. I don’t think I’ve spent that much time in a mall since high school.

ENOUGH ABOUT THE MALL ALREADY

The James’ work holiday party was good. The entire time, I kept reminding him that already, with the presence of fake gambling tables, it was better than my work holiday party will be. This thursday we shall see if it is so. Another reason it was/will be better: The dancing boob girl. It was an incredible sight to behold, and no one at our table could look away, hoping against hope that those magnificent orbs would somehow escape their bonds and start dancing of their own accord. Oh, dancing boob girl, how we were sorry to leave the party, and thus, have to stop watching you. Later discussion among friends involved opinions on whether they were original or enhanced, and let me state for the record, the amount of jiggle to those boobs makes me state firmly: REAL.

When we picked the kids up at the school at 11, I had guessed that Ethan would be asleep and Jocelyn wouldn’t be. I was wrong. When I walked in, they said Jocelyn was asleep, but in truth she had just been lying there wide awake. Ethan however, hopped up after watching his favorite movie of all time, Cars, was racing around the room in his jammies like a bullet with 2 other little boys, holding a toy car and making brrrum! brrrum! noises. Saturday morning was the first time we have ever slept in since Ethan was born. I’m defining “slept in” as, in our own house with no extraordinary circumstances, like grandparents who get up and take the kids downstairs so we can sleep in. We all slept soundly until about 9am. It was WONDERFUL. Now we know that all we have to do to sleep in is keep our kids up until 11pm at night. Wheeeeee.

HOUSE STUFF

So, bouyed up by my parents imminent arrival (shoosh, i know it’s still like weeks away) the boy and I went downstairs to work on the laminate flooring project that has been lying dormant since it was started a month or so ago. We got a few rows done, when I then ran into a snag. I’ll probably go into it in more detail in another post, but let it suffice to say that we’re going to have to cut some boards down lengthwise, which will be a pain, especially since we don’t own a table saw, only a circular saw. I was bummed, because it would have been nice to knock a good chunk of that out.

So just to take the sting out of that, let me say that I cleaned the pantry out. Trust me. It was bad. And now, it’s all sparkly clean! So at least something was done this weekend. It wasn’t ALL just sleeping in and watching boob girls and giving up in frustration at laminate floor laying and letting Jocelyn pee everywhere. Oh. Right. You don’t know about that yet.

PEE, PEE, PEE PEE PEE!

The weekend we tried to take some potty training steps with Jocelyn. Which basically means we put big girl underwear on her, and she made small puddles in various locations around the house throughout the weekend, including on the couch. We went through every pair of panties she owns. At one point, James said something like, “Wasn’t it a lot easier with Ethan?” I just laughed. Ethan took months, and would only sit on the potty after I invented an intricate reward system involving stickers and M&Ms. You laugh now, but just wait until YOU try to convince a 2-3 year old to sit on the potty for more than 5 seconds. She knows how to go, and if she has to go and you sit her on the potty, generally speaking, she’ll go. It’s the getting her to STOP whatever she’s doing when she realizes she needs to go, and go sit on the potty that we’re having trouble with.

The tough part is while yes, we tried over the weekend, now it’s monday and she goes off to school and .. well, now what? Do we send her with underwear on and lots and lots of changes of clothing? Because they would need them. I’d like to have her a little closer to trained before sending her to school in underwear, but I don’t think that is going to happen in just the 2 days we have over the weekend. I guess we need to talk to her teachers and see. Maybe we can make some progress over the Christmas week off from school they’ll be taking.

My baby. She’s getting so big! Sniff.

– amy wishes you a very happy monday

OK, just a few quick things.

First of all. LOOKEE LOOK LOOK! I DID find a tweezer!

Actually, I didn’t, but a nice lady named Marcia did some business with some wax, and now I look PHABULOUS! OK. Maybe me not so much, but MY EYEBROWS. THEY LOOK PHABULOUS!

Take a look at the before.

See? MUCH BETTER. OK. Enough about my eyebrows.
Second of all: Would all you people who decide to go christmas shopping first thing and therefore are crowding my commute with more cars that one would believe possible PLEASE JUST WAIT AN HOUR AND THEN GO?

You have my thanks.

Third: POKER.

I have been informed at at this evening’s holiday party held by my husband’s company… there will be poker. Fake money, but poker none the less. It makes me wish we hadn’t gone with the school’s “Parent’s night out! But pick their asses up by 11.” and gone with the babysitter who’s mother doesn’t mind if we bring her home around 1am. We will probably have to leave all the open bar and fake gambling around 10:15 in order to get the kids in time.

Still. POKER! It’s been so long I’m salivating. We need to have a poker night. Are you in? Not YOU, weird person who lives in another state, YOU, person who lives near me and actually has seen me in person before. I may even allow folks who haven’t seen me before. I still love you though, weird person. Really. Oh, go ahead and fly in, weird person, IT’S GONNA BE A POKER NIGHT!

Obviously, I need to get out more.

-amy checks her dosage.