yesterday the new indigo girls album came out.

I attempted to pick it up yesterday, along with the new boots and the diapers and the new firetruck shoes and the wipes that needed to be obtained at target, but we were running very late and target’s music selection isn’t really all that great.

ig = negative.
sore feet = affirmative
kids to bed late = affirmative

so today i met some friends for lunch, afterwhich i tried to find the album at borders and then best buy. borders had 10 copies, but it took 2 sales associates to track them down. They didn’t have the collector’s edition (with alternate tracks on disc 2) which I wanted. best buy didn’t have anything.

ig = negative
being helped profusively = affirmative

so then i popped in the car and thought, why not, i’m already over here, and drove over to tower records. after a quick check of the new releases display and the IG slot, i got someone to look it up for me where i learned that Tower Records is actually in bankruptcy and all their deliveries have been disrupted and so sorry, they don’t have it.

ig = negative
being helped profusively = more affirmative (people are so nice, really!)

so on my way back to my car, there was a tj maxx, which my mom is always going on about, and i have stepped into maybe one time in my life. She was talking about these very expensive Le Cruset pots that I’ve always secretly coveted and how they were exceedingly cheap at the Maxx, so I decided, what the hell, I’d go poke my nose in. A wended my way through the children’s section (nice costumes) (wow, they sell toys?) to the back where they had exactly one Le Cruset kettle, and then was making my way back to the exit in front when I was diverted to the shoes. I went over and checked it out.

Up until this time, I did not so much as pick up anything. Just looked, and fairly briefly at that. However, when I got to the shoes, I actually stopped, looked, and started to pick out some shoes and try them on. It was only after I had to drop the 3 pairs of boots/shoes to try to zip up a 4th, that I looked down at the floor at all the shit I’d dropped and realized that my wallet was NOT AMONG THEM.

ig = negative, but i wasn’t even really trying to find it there
losing my wallet = sadly, AFFIRMATIVE

i suck. i suck i suck i suck. maybe YOU never lose your wallet, or keys, or very important items, but I do, with a startling frequency. I am surprised I haven’t had a heart attack yet, because this feeling really sucks. I can feel my heart beating rapidly, that panicked feeling in my gut, and then it all increases about 10 fold when I contemplate when/how I’ll have to tell james. “hi. i suck. i suck i suck i suck i suck.”

i really suck.

I went back over every inch of the 2 places I’d stood while looking at shoes. I retraced my steps over the whole store. I went back to Tower Records and inquired there. I retraced my steps, including going back to the bathroom and making sure I hadn’t left it on the sink (which I’ve done before). But in actuality, I KNEW that I had it when I walked into TJ Maxx, and since I had picked up NOTHING until I got to the shoes, IT HAD TO BE THERE.

But it wasn’t. I inquired with about 4 of the sales associates (because just because one hasn’t heard anything about a lost wallet, doesn’t mean a different one hasn’t). They have my name and number in case it turns up.

After searching with the cold knot of dread in my stomach, I finally left with the dim hope that maybe I hadn’t carried it in afterall, maybe it was still back in my car nestled safely in my purse.

It wasn’t.

I’ve called and put a hold on my credit cards just to be sure. I have a lot of experience in ‘lost wallets’. With all my ‘lost wallet’ experience, I have never permanently lost my wallet.

This time I have a bad feeling like maybe it is going to stay lost.

And that will suck.

Now I can’t even order the damn IG album (collector’s edition!) online.

ig = negative
me wanting to shove a chopstick in my ear to stop myself from further acts of idiocy = affirmative

Cross your fingers and toes for me.

I am sitting here and decided, hell. Why not stay up and watch PR LIVE instead of going to bed and watching it tomorrow.

Then I thought, hell, why not blog about it live also! What fun!

So, in case you haven’t seen the show yet, and don’t want to be spoiled by spoilers, you might wnat to stop now.

1. So, they’re going to a party. Super fun.
2. Going to be 2 guests. Olsen twins? I heard something about the Olsen twins?
3. OMG!! OH MY GOD!! NOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOD NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I see Vincent. This can’t be good. Now’s their chance for revenge, if they have to dress him.
4. Oh wow. Angela. Stick rosettes all over her.
5. Oh. My. Goodness. They get a second chance. Holy shit, now THIS IS A TWIST! I LOVE IT!!!
6. Cocktail party outfit using only black and white – I love this. It’s like a level playing field to have them all have to use the same colors. I think it’ll show us even more what they can do.
7. Kind of nice to see Jeffrey eat crow, after gloating sooooo much about Angela being gone. Ha-ha!
8. i like that Timm reiterated what I spotted. I feel smart now. shocking.
9. WOW!!! They can’t leave any fabric any left over. they have to use it ALL! I LOVE IT!!
10. I remember why I never watch TV live. I hate commercials. I love TiVo. TiVo is my friend.
11. Oh no. “I’m going to do a hippie, beach party, cocktail dress.” JUST SAY NO ULI. I love you sweetie, but you need to steer CLEAR of the hippie look.
12. I see Angela making a rosette with her fabric.
13. vincent says they gave him extra fabric. excuses excuses.
14. i wish that sweet girl who got kicked out with her paper dress had won one so she could have another chance, cause i bet she would KICK IT.
15. dang, laura is getting really pregnant. poor woman, i bet she is SO tired.
16. More commercials. Zach Braff’s movie looks cute. I like Zach Braff, even though he wrote “sam” (natalie portman’s character) in Garden State as the Ideal Version Of A Girl As Envisioned By A Boy, and not as a real person. Well, at least in spots. I liked that movie, really I did, that just bugged me a little bit.
17. IT’S BACK IT’S BACK IT’S BACK!!
18. oh no. uli. NO. NO NO NO NO. NO “VERY 70s BEACHY” (they’re in the makeup thingee)
19. You know what I love the most about Tim? I look at these outfits, and I know something is wrong, and Tim just walks over and points straight to the thing, and then I go, “Yeah. That’s it.” Michael did that for Kayne earlier too. I love Michael. GO MICHAEL.
20. Laura looks like she’s about — … oh my god she’s crying. seriously, poor woman. she is so tired.. she needs to just go sleep for days.
21. UP AND ATTEM!
22. oh no… Gia has had an accident. i wonder what happened.. i hope she’s ok.
23. i’m worried about kayne. i don’t have any real idea of a lot of their dresses..
24. IF VINCENT…. no. i’m not even going to say it. it just WILL NOT happen.
25. angela is stuffing her scraps in the purse to give it volume? is that allowed? did others do this? this blogging is really interupting my watching of the show! still. i love tivo. did kayne stuff his in his model’s bag also?
26. OK people. i’m in commercials now.
27. ALISON! that’s her name. I wish Alison could have come back on the show.
28. angela: wow, i don’t hate it.
29. kayne: it looks a little boring. that white is going to kill him though.
30. laura: i… LOVE that dress. I LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT.
31. michael: she looks fantastic. not sure about that hairdo though.
32. jeffrey: she looks like a 13 year old street walker.. i don’t like it at all.
33. uli: oh my GOD, I LOVE THAT.. wow. i’m surprised.
34. vincent: i think i saw the model’s Princess.
35. let’s see what the judges think!!
36. yay! they liked michael!
37. vincent: that GOD nina doesn’t like it. cheap. TOO SHORT.
38. uli: HAHA – looks like pool floats. they don’t LOOOOVE it. but i don’t think they hate it..
39. angela: costumey. and she didn’t use her scraps.
40. jeffrey: yeah, seeing that model again, i really don’t like that. not at all. judges think it’s cheap, NOT elegant. not stepping out of his element.
41. laura: man.. i realy like this. it is just beautiful, and she managed to not have a V down to her navel. they like it, yay! i do like laura, i just felt like she was the SAME every week.
42. kayne – oh i’m not feeling good.. nina at least sees that he was trying to step away from the cheap and tawdry.
43. ok i’m pausing!

i always do this, every show.. i try to guess who’s going to win, and who’s going to lose. i think it’s got to go to michael. they didn’t have a single bad word to say about him, and his dress is fab. I predict, winner = Michael.

that means both the come-backs will be outta here, and one more designer will have to go. Jeffrey has won so many, I think it’ll be hard to cut him loose, even though I think he’s in the bottom. Kayne… oh kayne sweetie, you tried. so hard. but I think you’ll be going bye bye tonight. maybe some freak of nature jeffrey will go, but i bet kayne and jeffrey stand there together.

OK. UNpausing.

listeing to the judges gab.

eek. not looking good for uli. i liked it though. in the end, it’s still a beautiful dress.

OK HERE GOES! One is the winner! One of you will be out!

oh dammit, commercials.

HAHA!!! ALISON was the CLEAR winner in who everyone wanted to return! yay alison!

Winner: laura. she deserves it. so did michael, i bet that was a tough one. oh i’m so happy for her 🙂

bye bye angela. bye bye vincent.

BARF. Mr. Ego. “I do it so damn well. It’s a gift.” YOU WERE JUST CANNED, FREAKOZOID!

yeah, just as i predicted, kayne and jeffrey. it’s gotta be kayne.. i just love kayne, poor guy.

bye bye kayne. oh i’m so sad for him. Anna! He didn’t really have a whole collection in the making in the backroom of that bridal shop! Too bad.

And now the week of waiting begins again for NEXT week! I wish I had last season on my TiVo still, cause I’d watch it and dance around, “It’s just faaaaashiooooon!”

Today is going to be an exciting day.

Today, the 4-month pregnant Tamara and I are going into DC to participate in a photo Safari. Basically we get to take photos like tourists in the National Museum of the American Indian in DC, with a professional photographer to help us learn more about our camera and how to take better pictures.

I am just so tickled I could spit.

But I won’t. You were nice enough to come to my site, so I will restrain myself. FOR YOU. MMMMWAH!

Here’s the blurb for this photography thing* in case you didn’t want to click on that link and see for yourself:

With their larger sensors, the Canon 20D and its bigger brother,the Canon 30D, SLR digital cameras have become a very popular items among serious digital photographers. This Safari will help 20D/30D users put their cameras through the paces of ISO settings, flash settings, variable white balance settings, file compression, aperture and shutter priorities, focus settings, custom settings, menu navigation tricks, exposure tricks, use of the histogram, etc. We will shoot inside and outside of the new National Museum of the American Indian.

Special exhibits at the museum pose unique challenges for the digital photographer, especially the mix of daylight and tungsten light. The eight-story high atrium is a great place to practice wide-angle photography, and the carvings and statues provide challenges for your telephoto lens.

Ooohhh. Doesn’t that sound cool? I’m going to come back knowing EVERYTHING! Well, a lot more than I know now, which is basically nothing.

So while Tamara and I learn how to be an awesome photographer, my darest dearling Linda is coming down from Long Island. She and I are going to road trip it old style (old style just means no kids in the car) to Virginia Beach to fetch some of her things from an ex. We will probably talk about the meaning of life** and many other deep things while listening to good music.

So. Yeah. Big day planned! Wish me luck! Or better, send me “stay on program!” vibes, because that will serve me better 🙂 (It’s been an excellent on program week thus far!)

* I keep refering to this photo safari thing as a “thing”. “Oh, I can’t Saturday, I have this photography thing.” It’s not a class, it’s not a seminar.. Really, I don’t know what to call it. It will have to remain a “thing”.

** FORTY-TWO!

-amy had an O.B. like that once.

CRIKEY!Astonished was I, when I read the news that Steve Irwin (The Crocodile Hunter) died a few days ago of a stingray’s barb straight to the heart. I heard on Monday, and every time I think of it, I get a little choked up. Steve was so full of personality and energy it is hard to beleive that he is really gone. Everything he did he did with such single-mindedness, and I have learned so much from his shows – and even more importantly, grown to LOVE the wild creatures he introduced to me. He loved wildlife so much, and the respect he held for animals taught me as well. His death was tragic, in that one would imagine it would come at the hands of some of the more dangerous creatures he handled.

Steve Irwin joins Jim Henson, Shel Silverstein, and (I know I’m forgetting some more) Dr. Suess in the “WHY GOD, WHY?!” category. When I think about his wife and 2 kids, tears come to my eyes.

He was on a radio talk show in the DC area a few years ago, and I only caught the tale end of it, but let’s just say, he totally KILLED, he was so awesome. A few minutes after the interview was over, the producer came in. He had talked to him a few minutes to ask him how he thought the show went, and to thank him for being on the show, etc. The DJs were astonished to hear how Steve was afraid he wasn’t “peppy” enough (can you imagine Steve Irwin not having enough energy?) and had actually gotten up a few hours before the interview (the time difference meant that it was sometime during the sleeping hours in Australia) to make sure he’d be “awake” enough to give a good interview.

Ah, crikey, I’m going to miss him.

WHY GOD, WHY?!!

CLASS NIGHTS

I spewed all Pollyanna-ish about making James’ gone-class-time to use for me, for craftiness, and really, it wasn’t a good comparison to the situation last summer. I was freaking out because I would have a Saturday with the kids, just as if it was a weekday, and I could see the whole summer droning out in front of me with a summer of all weekdays and only 1-day weekends, and I had to do something to keep it from feeling like a weekday.

That really isn’t the case here. It’s the dealing with the kids all myself that is tiring, with no buffer to keep Jocelyn from trying the bathroom door while I’m trying to pee, or going to inspect the newest creation that Ethan has built while I’m trying to get dinner on the table, or getting the jammies ready while the baths are in progress.

My plan for being crafty doesn’t really work, because it doesn’t alleviate all that, the way going on special expeditions alleviated Saturdays feeling like a weekday last summer.

So, I am taking the spirit of that post, but not the goals. I can’t really do crafty things before tehy’re in bed, not enough time, really, it’s filled with dinner, playing, tidying, baths, bedtime, etc. And after they’re in bed, that’s my time, just like any other day after they’re in bed. So while I may do crafty things in this time, I might not, the point is to make the CHOICE to not be grumpy about doing the evening routine by myself. And really, I am not, they are both old enough that it doesn’t feel like the chore it did last year. Ethan is helpful and can get into jammies and play until I’m done getting Jocelyn tucked in. The routine with a 4 year old and a 2 year old is infinitely better than with a 3 year old and a 1 year old (or younger).

SO, I’m just letting you know. Tuesdays/Thursdays, I may or may not do crafty things. Last night, I had more important things to do, like FINISHING getting my entire CD collection ripped to MP3 (i’ve been working on this all summer off and on) and getting pictures off the camera, converted to jpg, and up to flickr. YOu’ll be seeing some of our vacation pics over the next week or so.

STILL KIND OF CRAFTY

So, while I’m not dedicating Tuesday/Thursdays to craftiness, I still managed to do a cute thing for Ethan this past weekend. He has several pairs of pants that have holes in the knees but are otherwise perfectly fine, so…

MY NOSE! AHHHH MY NOSE!!

I have mentioned my super sensitive nose before. My nose is like a being unto itself. If it smells something it doesn’t like, it decides to punish me for putting it into contact with such abomination. Thus, my limited use of hairspray, and my abhorrence for the hand cream the Mary Kay lady leaves in the bathroom at work (it hasn’t been seen for sometime, thank god).

So yesterday we arrive home. It is the day the cleaning ladies come. Maybe I am just getting over my initial euphoria of having the house cleaned magically while we’re gone every 2 weeks, because I’m starting to get a little picky. I probably wouldn’t have been this picky yesterday though, if they hadn’t PUT STINKY CARPET FRESHENER POWDER on our carpets, or maybe it was just SPRAYING AIR FRESHENER EVERYWHERE, I don’t know WHAT IT WAS, but it STINKS. It REEKS of powdery floral stench ALL THROUGHOUT OUR HOUSE.

My nose is a very delicate organ. Do not accost the nose, or the nose will turn on you. This is not the first time the cleaning ladies have contaminated the air in my home, but after they had done it a few times, I called the office and requested that they not do it again. Ever. That was a month or so ago. And now they’ve done it again. I have a feeling that Jocelyn has the same delicate nasal passages that I have, because after I put her to bed, she spent the next hour coughing every 5 minutes, poor girl. Every time she coughed, I got angrier and angrier at the cleaning ladies.

Maybe it’s because of the stench that I started getting uber picky. They always leave a checklist of things they did on our kitchen table. I’m sure they go through the house, do their thing, then on their way out, whip out this sheet and quickly check off each box. Because I know they have never wiped down our kitchen cupboards. The reason I know this? Because they have cobwebs on them. I know they have never wiped down our baseboards. I know sometimes they don’t wipe all fingerprints off the woodwork and wipe off all window sills.. The reason I know this? BECAUSE THEY ARE STILL FILTHY.

I started getting all cranky about this as I was looking at their sheet, but then later i got a bit more reasonable. It’s not that I mind that they didn’t do these things, because honestly, the state we leave our house the mornings they come is probably not the best. If they didn’t have to spend time rearranging our piles of junk all throughout the house they probably WOULD have time to wipe off the cupboards, but as is, we’re only paying for X amount of hours, and if they can’t get to the baseboards without going over and charging me more, then yes. Please skip them. I’m just happy that the major things are getting done.

But really. Don’t kid yourself and try to put one over on me by checking every single box, because I’m not a dummy.

And if you put that stench in my home again, I’ll be calling up Merry Maids and dropping your ass.

– amy MY NOSE! MY NOSE!

A year ago ?? Two years ago?

I think it was 2 years ago, because Jocelyn was a wee little baby then.

Why was I remembering 2 years ago? Oh yeah.

A year or two ago, when James informed me he was taking Saturday classes that summer, my heart dropped and my mind exploded and I thought I would sink into the depths of despair. My mind screamed in denial. Then it screamed in anger. I ALREADY HAVE TO WATCH THESE KIDS 5 DAYS A WEEK, 2 EVENINGS AND NOW YOU WON’T BE HERE SATURDAYS TOO??? I seriously felt so depressed I may have cried over it.

Before I go on, let me just say that this was during a period of time that James worked from home, and I stayed at home with the kids. It was a wonderful time, we would all get up around 7:30-8ish, shower/get dressed and then give daddy kisses as he headed down the stairs to work. He would come up now and then to go potty, we would all have lunch together, and whenever anyone was doing anything super cute (I know, how did he get ANY work done?) I would buzz him on the phone and he’d run up to come see.

So my (inner) cries of abandonment were really not too well founded. Except that the daily wear and tear of staying at home was obviously telling on my psyche.

I did something cool though. Despite my despair at the ruination of our weekends for the entire summer (and let me tell you, it really did ruin the summer. James would agree.) I decided to flip this situation on it’s head and do something fun every week. I tried to view it as a special time I got to take the kids somewhere cool and exciting. I tried to ignore the fact that I already had 5 other days with no James that I filled somehow without wanting to stick my head in the oven, and make Saturdays special.

The first day, I got everyone ready, packed the double stroller, some PBJs and drove into DC. We parked along the river, walked over by the round memorial (what, you don’t know which one I’m refering to? Bah! Sorry, the only name that keeps popping into my head is Jefferson and Lincoln, and I don’t think it’s either, it’s not on the mall) around the edge of the water, looking at the ducks, watching Ethan climbing UP and DOWN and UP and DOWN the steps of that one memorial that you can look over the water and see the white house (aren’t I helpful with all the names?) while I tried to hide behind a column and nurse Jocelyn. We watched folks playing football, we investigated every rock and twig and we saw a mother goose with a sweet little line of baby geese walking in a line just like a little goose-train.

It was a pretty nice day, and I remember feeling pleased on my way home. If I had just stayed home, I would have moped and gotten more depressed. I know that sometimes it is all about your choices, and not about how you feel, even when you don’t really feel like making that choice. It’s hard when you just want to wallow in the pity-party, but I decided to have fun, and dammit, I had fun.

I’m recalling all this because James went to his first class on Tuesday, and didn’t get home until 10pm. I’m not really depressed over this, but it was a nice summer with no classes, and it’s a bit of an adjustment to the new schedule. I thought about how Tuesday went, and am not particularly happy. I got the kids, got dinner ready, and then kind of lazed around reading a John Grisham book until bedtime while the kids played. Got them into bed w/out incident and then lazed around watching TV. I had the best intentions of cleaning the kitchen, but it got later and later and it wasn’t happening until James called and said, “YOU’RE CLEANING THE KITCHEN, AREN’T YOU??? YOU SHOULD CLEAN THE KITCHEN!” and then I got up and cleaned the kitchen.

I don’t know, I wasn’t sad, but I WAS wallowing a teeny bit. “Woe is me. James isn’t here, so I’ll just sit here and ignore my children and my dirty kitchen and read.”

Anyway, my point is, I think I need to rearrange my point of view on this whole no James 2x a week thing. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, feeling OH SO PUT UPON because I MUST CARE FOR OUR CHILDREN WITHOUT AID FOR 3 WHOLE HOURS, TWICE A WEEK, I’ve decided to view it as 2 nights when after the kids are in bed, I can do absolutely my own thing.

So the point to all this? I dedicate Tuesday and Thursday nights to craftiness! No more feeling sorry for myself, I shall look forward to these two nights as the nights I get creative, in whatever fashion I choose. I have been dipping my toes into some crafty projects lately, and some are still in the mid-way phase. Tonight I’m going to try to finish Jocelyn’s Hello Kitty pillow.

Next, I’ll finish the bears.

and THEN, THE WORLD! MUAHAHAHAHA!

– amy “NO MORE! TALE TO TELL!” be-damy

Wonder Woman Sculpted Resin Hand Mirror

how fun is that?

pointed out by Slave to Target.

– amy, who had wonder woman underoos when she was 7. AND MISSES THEM.

We’ve had a nice summer.

Vacation is over. The kids start the official preschool (this week is just open daycare) next Tuesday and James starts school this week. He took the summer off from classes, and it has been NICE. Now that it is over, and we’ll go back to 2 days a week not really seeing him in the evenings, I can REALLY appreciate how nice it has been over the summer.

It has gotten me thinking about the things I want to do though. First off, once again, back on the Weight Watcher’s bandwagon. This summer has pretty much been crappy, although I’m happy to say that squinting down at the scale this morning, I was relieved. I could have gained 15 lbs (especially considering the fabulous food we had on vacation, and ice cream every other night) but still seem to be hovering at 265. OK, 268.5, to be exact. Can I tell you how hard it is to actually post real live numbers here? It is hard. However, looking at me, you’d know I am grossly overweight, so really, who am I trying to kid. So, skinny page is going back up (I took it down a while ago). Project Skinny back ON, baby.

As a way to try to keep myself on track, I’m starting a new page on the side, where I’ll be tracking what I eat along with points values and exercise. I went grocery shopping yesterday and bought a lot of stuff that will help me stay on track – I know from experience that a big part is to get RID of stuff that is going to tempt me, and keep stuff around that will be good for me. I was going to make my lunch today, and for the week, but didn’t get to it yesterday, so I’m going to try to do that tonight. Subway will be my friend today at lunch.

I also would really love to learn more about photography. I’m debating whether or not to take a photography class from NOVA, or take the Canon 20D/30D PhotoSafari thingee next month. Maybe I could do both.

I also want to take a sewing class. I have very basic skills from 8th grade home ec, and as I look at some projects I would like to do, I think I’d like to take a beginning sewing class to see what exactly I don’t know. G Street Fabrics has a few – anyone else know of a place that offers beginning sewing?

And this is kind of out in left field, but I would like to take a basic carpentry class. This is one that I am not interested in doing right away, but maybe sometime next year I could find and take a class. I think it would be interesting. Right now, my interests lay more in the sewing/crafty projects than the wood projects though. Someday.

I’m looking forward to fall. I’m so glad it has cooled down, although it could still come down another 10 degrees and I’ll be happy. Ethan will also be excited – that boy LOVES to wear pants and long sleeves. I brought along his favorite long pants/sleeves outfit in case we met up with a chilly day on our vacation, and on our way home from the Pequot Native American Museum last Thursday, it was raining cats and dogs. Despite James running for the car and pulling it up in front, we all got soaked (although, not as soaked as James). So when we got back to the yellow house, I pulled those clothes out of my bag* for him and he SQUEALED in delight. Then he wanted to sleep in them that night. Then he wanted to wear them the next day. We compromised and said he could wear them the next day IF it was cool enough and IF he put jammies on for the night and he was in heaven.

* I had to put them in my bag, because if he had seen them, if he had even been AWARE of them, he would have wanted to wear them and would have thrown a fit to have them and our entire vacation would have been RUINED! RUINED I SAY! He just loves snuggly clothes. He gets it from me, I think. The number of times he has tried to convince me (in the middle of 100+ degree weather) that it would be FINE for him to wear pants to school is just funny. He will be so happy when I bring all of his long sleeved stuff down from the top shelf in his closet.

– amy forgot her headphones this morning. First mornings back to work suck. Especially with no head phones.

So, we are home. We left the “yellow house” (as Ethan called it) at 9am Saturday morning, and got home about 7ish. Hit yucky traffic in NY and also in DE, of all places. The kids didn’t sleep in the car at all and despite the constant TV entertainment, they were really cranky as we drove through our neighborhood to our house. Ethan was so wound up he cried several times before going to sleep.

First thing I did: go grocery shopping.

Second thing I did: Water everything in my yard, except the grass. It’s brown. Oh well. It’ll come back. My neighbor watered for me once while we were away, and our cat sitter watered everytime she came as well – everything looks pretty good. Tomatoes – yum. I’d forgotten how good they were.

Third thing (and actually, first, since I started on it last night) go through mail / bills / finances.

And now, here I am, blogging. I managed to hold off until it is FOURTH! Astonishing!
Hey, look all those blurry camera phone pictures showed up! Some even look pretty good. Shocking! I looked a few times on James’ uber fancy phone, and the images weren’t showing up, so I worried. Never fear, we have lots of non-camera-phone images that I’m sure I’ll be sharing as well.

Speaking of photos. A little experiment I did early on showed me just HOW little I know about taking pictures. I usually just keep it on the “P” setting on my Canon 30D with RAW pictures, and then fiddle with some other stuff.. I took a shot of the sound, and then on a whim, switched it to the little landscape preset setting, and took another shot. Of course, the landscape shot turned out much much better than the first. I need to learn about all the things that camera can actually DO. Anyone want to a) show me or b) take a class with me?

It’s naptime now, but I can hear Jocelyn calling upstairs, “I WANT TO GET OUT! I WANT TO GET OUT!” They’ve been in their rooms for a while, so I guess I’ll go get them out.

I’m sure I’ll write more later. At GREAT length. Y’all will be wishing for the blurry camera pictures to come back.

-amy

Clicked over to this article on soya from LeahPeah’s, and am now very very freaked out.

Jocelyn has been intolerant to milk protein since she was an infant. I had to cut dairy and all milk proteins out of my diet when I was breastfeeding her. When breastfeeding ended, soy was the obvious next choice.

He calculated that babies fed exclusively on soya formula could receive the oestrogenic equivalent, based on body weight, of five birth control pills a day.

Obviously the effects of the soy milk Jocelyn drinks today is less than the effect of when she was an infant.. She weighs more now and drinks about 9-16 oz a day rather than 24-30oz.

I know a lot of people will say, “Just because you read ONE ARTICLE does not mean you have to freak out. It does not mean they actually know what they’re talking about.”

And they’d be right. It doesn’t. But even the soy producers tout the hormones in soy milk as A GOOD THING. And it may be. I just don’t think I want hormones running around in my 2 year old daughter. Puberty has already scarily crept up on girls and boys at younger and younger ages over the years.
Just trying to find a light at the end of this tunnel. It just seems to coincide with my thoughts recently about how industrialization of food is a good way to turn things to shit.

Kind of a side tangent to all this. Last Saturday we went to the local farmer’s market and I felt all gung ho about buying locally etc. Until I spied a MANGO, and thought, gee. A mango? Here? and picked it up, turned it over and spied a sticker with a farm name and a “Product of Mexico” on it. So much for buying local.

Enough about that.

We go on vacation in 4 days and I’m kind of starting to panic. James keeps pointing out that we need to pack and I resist, but finally it’s sunk in – um.. we’re going somewhere and we need to PACK. For 2 children. Clothes, soap, bath toys, shampoo, diapers, toothbrushes, pillows, blankies, pookie bears and Baby, bed rails, and maybe a pack and play (we still have it -SHEW!) and OMG the BEACH – camp chairs, and beach toys and beach towels and sun screen and swim suits and a wagon to haul it all to the beach with and hully gee I haven’t even gotten to the driving in the car for 8 hours part. Or my own need for underwear and deodorant and floss and flip flops.

It’s a good thing we’re going on vacation because I’m going to need one just from all the packing!

I had soy milk on the packing list. Now I’m wondering if I should take it off.

– amy is very good at running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off.

I haven’t gotten around to typing up this post until now.

Mostly because I took pictures with my stellar (NOT) camera phone, and was trying to get moblogging working so I didn’t have to email everything around twice.

Moblogging still not working, but we’re still working on it. It’ll be neato when it gets working.

So I was on my merry way to work last Thursday, driving along innocently enough, when I thought I heard something funny. I turn off the iPod and listened.

Nothing.

Inch forward in traffic. There it is again. I pull over, and it is not a pretty sight. My rear passenger tire is totally flat, and I’m driving on the rim.

In a way, I’m kind of stoked, because … I love this sort of shit. I love to change tires, and here I get to do it all by myself! Few years ago, I went off roading by myself and got totally stuck on a small tree trunk. I checked out the situation and being the daughter of an engineer, totally figured out how to get myself out of the mess I got myself into and was working merrily away at gathering the supplies(lots of big rocks) and then got to work. I was getting there, albeit slowly, by myself, when a guy and his girlfriend motored up on their ATVs and helped me out. I say “helped me out,” but it was more like, the guy swooped in and did this macho “Oh, it’s a good thing *I* came along” act, and kind of muscled me out of it. I hovered for a while, tried to do what I was doing, but finally sat down with the girlfriend and watched. I totally wanted to kick his ass, but at the same time, when you’re out 4-wheelin’ by yourself, folks around to bail you out of trouble is always a good thing. I could have been in a situation where there was no way out unless someone came along with a winch, so I just counted myself lucky to have some help and called it good.

But still. Even though I was dressed up all nice, and even somewhat warmly (long sleeves – the AC in my building is VERY EFFECTIVE) in what was the heat wave of the entire summer, I was kind of tickled that I had a flat.

I kicked off my shoes and got to work.

first order of business was to get the necessary tools. Namely, the jack and lug wrench. Unfortunately, they are located under the back seat, so that means CAR SEAT = OUTTA THERE.

Next, I needed my spare tire. My 4Runner has a full sized spare that is hoisted up underneat the back of the car. It was pretty easy to get down. See curious hole above bumper. Stick pump crank into hole. Fiddle around and turn. (Kind of kinky.) Watch as the miracle of engineering lowers my spare tire!

Ok, spare tire. CHECK.

Next: Operation JACK!

This was a little trickier. I’ve jacked up other cars, but I never had the opportunity to do it on my truck (i’ve had flats before, but the damn men always do it.) So I was actually uncertain where I was supposed to put the jack. On a car frame, there are little indentations right under the door frame, near the tire where you put the jack. Nothing like that on the truck. Plus, if I jacked up the frame, I could probably jack as far as the jack would go and the tire would stay on the ground. The glory of big truck shocks! So peering over the arcane drawings on the jack and even breaking out my manual, I determined that I needed to jack it by the axle:

The drawings seemed to indicate a specific PLACE on the axle, but I sure as hell couldn’t match anything up on the real axle that looked like the drawing, so I just picked a place and started cranking. It worked fine, and nothing appeared to break! Yay me!

(for a phone camera, i quite like this one.)

So, next up. Get the flat off. I had my handy little lug lock doodad.

Let me just say that by now, my happy-go-lucky attitude was starting to wear thin. NOT because I didn’t want to do it. NOT because it was now 137 degrees and I was sweating like a pig. No, my friends, it was because I was VERY near the main commuting drive, as I was previously IN the commute when I quickly pulled off and started my tire changing escapades, and there were a stream of folks still creeping along in traffic on their way to work. I’d been outside for probably a good 30 minutes now, and did anyone pull over to ask if I needed help?

No. Not one. NADA. ZIPPO. NO ONE. Sure, it was fine. I had a handle on things, but jeez, people, it’s nice to at least be asked. Show some common decency for crying out loud. What kind of world do we live in, people, if you can’t stop and check to make sure someone doesn’t need some help? If you were stuck on the side of the road, wouldn’t you like to be asked if you need some help? Many hands make the fucking work light, people! Yes, I’m swearing, but dammit, this really pissed me off. Everyone so fucking busy so fucking involved in their own little world that they can’t stop to help a stranger. Everyone, just go fuck yourself, and see if I care.
This is where I was at:

And this is what someone commuting along the street would have seen as they drove (at a stop and go crawl) along:

So yes, I was hot. I was sweaty. And slowly, I was starting to hate the world. “SCREW YOU TOO!” I would say out loud as I cranked away at the jack to the cars who passed me by. And Not. One. Car. Stopped. I was very indignant. Don’t people stop anymore? I stop. Just the day before I had stopped when a car 2 spots in front of me puttered over to the side after holding up traffic in the middle of the intersection. “You need any help?” and he smiled and shook his head, “Nope, I’m OK. Go ahead.” He probably wasn’t. He had the phone up to his ear, and he was probably calling for help, but I bet he thought, “It was nice to be ASKED.”

Nobody even bothered to ask me. Too busy scurrying to work like the busy rats they were. I’m not bitter or anything. I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO STOP ANYWAY! I’M JUST FINE WITHOUT YOU. JUST SEE IF I CARE! I was angry, but I was ok, because I WAS handling it fine on my own. Don’t need your help, motherfuckers.
But then, there were the lug nuts. I got more embittered when it came to the lug nuts.

They were on $%&*ing TIGHT. I managed to get 2 of the normal ones loose, but the one with the lock on it, I just COULD NOT get loose. The lock caused it to protrude so much that I couldn’t get a good amount of leverage to loosen it up. I tried and tried, and cursed my wimpy girl arms with their wimpy girl muscles. I cursed anew at all those male muscled men who drove by without even stopping to see if the woman flailing along at the lug wrench might need a helping muscled hand.

Finally, I kicked in the towel. Went and sat in the driver’s seat (which you should’nt do, if you’re in the middle of changing a flat tire. Ahem. Never get into the car until it’s lowered again), turned on the engine and sat in blissful cold air conditioned air while I called USAA to invoke my priviledges of their roadside assistance. They got someone on their speedy way.. it’d take an hour. So of course, first thing I did was to hop out and take pictures of everything. Then I called work. then I continued to curse everyone who was passing me by and not stopping. I SAW you looking over, and then when I looked at you, you quickly turned and looked straight ahead. Don’t make eye contact, because if you do, I might become an actual PERSON in your mind and you might actually feel GUILTY for IGNORING ME. Fuckers.

I don’t like giving up. I’m a very proud girl, and admitting that I Can’t Do something is Not Fun. But I had to. I had to admit defeat. The ironic thing was, I was CALLING FOR HELP when about 149 people had passed by me, and probably half of them were men with nature had given more testosterone to than I, and therefore had man muscles that could probably wrench off that damn nut. But no. I had to admit defeat and wait an hour. Fuck you too.

But then, there was light. My salvation came. A car drove up at the house I was parked across from, and as the man was heading to the front door, he saw me and came over to see if I needed any help.

And I wasn’t too proud to say, Yes! I do! I need these lug nuts loosed! I would be glad to make use of your man muscles and hand over the lug wrench! And he was very helpful and used his big man muscles to loosen them (to give my small girl muscles credit, he did strain quite a bit. I didn’t feel so wimpy then), and then together we put on the tire and lug nuts, and he lowered the jack while I phoned up USAA and told them never mind.

I thanked him profusely, and he humbly said your welcome and went into his house, and then I tossed all my various crap that’d I’d tossed out on the side of the road (flat tire, car seat, car seat under thingee, my shoes, my truck manual, jack, jack crank, lug lock, lug wrench) back in the truck and headed home for a shower and a morning of working from home.

That afternoon, I spent 2.5 hours at our auto shop waiting while my oil got changed and my tires (the front one also had a slow leak) got plugged.

Here is a picture of my feet in the waiting room of the car shop:

Polish applied with the aid of Jocelyn and Ethan.

The moral of the story? Don’t assume people have it covered. Pull over and fucking ask if they need some help. Even if they don’t, I bet the gesture I bet the gesture will be appreciated.

And also? You’re on the highway. there’s a bit of a gap ahead of you. Someone puts on their blinker to change into your lane.. QUIT SPEEDING UP TO CLOSE THE GAP AND PREVENT LANE CHANGING. That’s just damn rude and I am SICK of it.

The world just needs to watch it, or I am going to have to put the smack down.

UPDATE: I have already had a few people tell me that I am supposed to loosen the lug nuts BEFORE jacking up the car, for stability, safety, and more ease of loosening the nuts. THANKS! and I will keep that in mind for next time.

Also, while I will definitely take precautions for my own safety when stopping to see if folks need help, (not stopping in isolated areas, staying in my car and offering to call for help, etc.) I will still stop to help people. I have to assume folks are good, rather than live my life assuming the worst. But, I will do so in a cautious, safe-as-can-be manner. Also — there was NOTHING unsafe about where I was, with the million of people driving by, no one would have been in ANY danger stopping to help ME.